Great Discussion Points in Recovery

I was talking with my good friend Sunday evening about Gamblers Anonymous issues and my friend was interested in starting another GA meeting in the area. This meeting would be themed the “20 questions” and each week would be an in-depth discussion about on one of the twenty questions. Ideally the meeting would go through the 20 questions in a 20 week cycle and start back on question one after going through the cycle. I thought this was a very good idea but I’m not sure if our group could consistently support another meeting. The fascinating thing about GA is there are so many more compulsive gamblers out in this world that need to come to meetings yet choose to ignore the best therapy out there. Based on the sheer numbers of the population that gambles our rooms should be filled to capacity with compulsive gamblers yet this isn’t the case.

About two years ago we did support 6 meetings a week but shortly after I went to prison one of the meetings was consolidated and now we have 5 meetings a week. This does seem to be the proper number and from all indications the Thursday Step meeting seems to be struggling a bit. This is the only meeting I don’t attend on a regular basis and could possibly be the best meeting for people with “time” in the program. I have put my heart and soul into the program and in my never ending quest to seek balance I am sticking with going to 4 meetings per week.

I did suggest to my friend that incorporating this idea of discussing one of the 20 questions would make a good topic at the Monday GA Topic meeting. My friend did incorporate this into the meeting last night and the topic was “have you ever felt remorse after gambling?” This is question number four in the series of the twenty questions and a great question to discuss at a meeting. I know I stopped feeling remorse as my compulsive gambling progressed through the years. I wasn’t supposed to feel remorse because I wasn’t supposed to be a compulsive gambler. I tried (failed miserably!) to approach my gambling as a business venture and this is how I rationalized it for all those years. I couldn’t possibly feel remorse after a “business venture” that went bad (which it did on a nightly basis) because after all it wasn’t anything personal just “business”.

Oh how I fooled myself all those years with my justifications and rationalizations which all avoided (a.k.a. denied) the truth. The truth of the matter was very clear yet I couldn’t see it until the very end. Thankfully I have finally done something constructive about my compulsive gambling addiction which is entering the Gamblers Anonymous Program over three years ago. I have said this before and I will say this again, GA continues to save my life each and everyday.

I couldn’t face my compulsive gambling addiction all those years for several reasons and the main reason was denial. I denied for so long even though it was so evident I was and will always be a compulsive gambler. Thankfully in the GA Program I am learning an honest way of life which is wonderful. This honesty is the best way to live because all of the lying, cheating and stealing have stopped. This has been replaced with honesty, open-mindedness and willingness to continue to do the right thing one day at a time for a lifetime. I am finally feeling again and the remorse has been replaced with gratitude. I am truly a grateful blessed compulsive gambler.

The meeting was very good and the discussion points exceptional. I do believe we could go through one of the 20 questions each week and the discussions would be just as good. GA was developed over 50 years and the principles of the program still stand firm even to this day. The gambling landscape has changed in those 50 years and some of the compulsive gamblers are slightly different from this time but the crux of the matter is still the same; “I am powerless to gambling and my life is unmanageable”.

No matter if the destruction of gambling takes 50 years or 5 days to accumulate the principles of the program remain true; gambling has taken over the person’s life and horrible things have happened as a direct result. Gratefully the GA program can stop the madness as long as the person has the desire to stop gambling. This is the only requirement for Gamblers Anonymous because the program will NEVER work for someone who does not have the desire to stop gambling; however; it will work for those that do. I certainly had and still have the desire to stop gambling and GA continues to teach me a better way of life.

Our discussions continued to the late hours in the evening last night. I do enjoy these discussions because my friend does wax philosophical where there are no right or wrong answers; heck there really aren’t any answers just discussion points. It is incredible how clearly I can see in recovery because my denial glasses have been removed. I am seeing, hearing and understanding most things so much better now then I have ever done in the past all thanks to recovery. I have been given a gift of recovery by the GA Program and I embrace this gift each and everyday.

I did go to sleep much later then usual and I had doubts about getting up early to workout. My legs are still sore and the soreness will be with me for a few more days. I do need to get to the gym and do something but getting more rest was the prescription this morning. Once again I slept in and had a much better night’s rest then the night before. Running 26.2 miles does take its toll on the body and it has taken its toll on my body. If anyone is interested you can see me crossing the finish line by accessing this site. I cross the finish with 3:25 remaining in the video and the announcer has a difficult time pronouncing my last name. Strangely as I crossed the finish line I would have sworn the announcer did pronounce my name correctly but the video states otherwise I guess I was a bit delirious!!