Compulsive Gambler in Recovery
It is better to build character than to be one.
Friday, June 27, 2008
NCPG Conference Day Two
The day of workshops had ended but the involvement with the Conference continued through the evening. The evening event was a scheduled tour of the Queen Mary and yes, that is the “original” Queen Mary that used to sail across the Atlantic in the early part of the 20th century. I had never been on or for that matter near the Queen Mary before. I have seen it many times on television and it seem like a nightly occurrence on the evening news coverage of the weather. I was intrigued with the prospect of seeing the Queen Mary and purchased a ticket for the evening’s events aboard the ship. As we came into full view of the ship it reminded me very much of the Titanic and someone astutely pointed out that the two ships are very similar with only one visible distinction with the number of smokestacks between the two vessels.
The event was arranged very nicely and on board the bus I sat next to one of if not the most influential researchers for problem gambling. I had read many of the papers published by this person and I was pleasantly surprised to see that this person is a very “regular” person but it was obvious as we spoke that this person was extremely intelligent a very knowledgeable about problem gambling. The great aspect of this conference is bringing together all facets of problem gambling from the casino operators to the treatment providers to the statisticians to the people affected by problem gambling and all aspects in between.
I have met and continue to meet so many incredible people. I had the good fortune to sit down with one of the world’s most authoritative figures in Gaming Law. This was another “regular” person but also very brilliant. I didn’t really get the feeling that this person “understood” problem gambling as it occurs to people. There was more of an esoteric discussion and there seem to be a clear distinction between problem gambling and a problem gambler. (I’m not sure if that make sense?) In the course of our discussion it was admitted that there is something called problem gambling but in the attorney’s mind that distinction ended well before it crossed over to a human being. This could be just a play on words but in my mind and certainly in my situation there are real people and certainly real consequences involved. I don’t know if I can separate problem gambling from a problem gambler and this could be a way of sticking to the letter of the law.
The discussion got on to the subject of “due care” which seems to be emphasized with a lawsuit brought by a problem gambler. It was explained to me because the state (that is any state) sanctions gaming the “due care” aspect is exempt from the gaming operator thus rendering the operator exempt from any lawsuits brought by the harm of their “product”. This did not sit well with me but I listened while not saying very much. There has to be a “due care” standard somewhere whether it is the operator or the state because otherwise why would there even be a problem gambling conference. The question of liability seems to be floating about and this (in my opinion) is why many of the casino operators are having their employees trained on how to deal with someone who maybe a problem gambler.
I can analogize this to the Tobacco and Alcohol Industry. Many states don’t “sanction” tobacco and alcohol consumption rather they “allow” the sales of these products in their states and tax these products. The Gaming Industry is also taxed and in some states such as Pennsylvania which has a 55% tax rate (other states are much lower) this tax can be very significant; however, very little and in some instances none of this goes toward the treatment of problem gambling which to me seems very strange. Anyhow I do believe there is a “due care” that must be exercised by either the state or the operator and maybe both in order to assist those who have a compulsive gambling disorder.
The visit to the Queen Mary was something I will do once and I don’t want to sound negative so I will say I am happy I got to see it. I thought the evening’s events aboard the Queen Mary included dinner but I was wrong. Thankfully my dear friend asked me if I were hungry after I consumed a plate of carrots, broccoli and cucumbers to which I said, “yes”. We departed the ship and did not participate in the evening’s karaoke event which is probably much better for those who stayed!!! Since I am a very finicky eater we tried to go the hotel’s restaurant but hamburgers are not my forte. I convinced my dear friend to walk across the street to P.F. Chang’s where we had a great dinner. Along with the great dinner came great conversation and my dear friend who has been associated with problem/compulsive gambling for the past 40 years has so many wonderful and in some instances “not so wonderful” stories. I listened intently to these stories all night long through dinner and when we got back to the hotel.
One story struck a chord with me and it was about recovery and the Gamblers Anonymous Program. This dear friend has seen thousands of people go in and out of the GA Program and the key ingredient is the program itself. My dear friend told me a story of a person who involved themselves in GA for 10 years but somehow stopped going to meetings. This person abstained for the next 22 years without gambling but again without going to meetings; however; in the 22nd year under the “wrong” set of circumstances started gambling without the thought of the consequences and all of that abstinence was erased over the next three years and was in worst shape then ever. This is very key for me because I fully understand this addiction of mine may very well be “arrested” at this point in my life but I must maintain my recovery one day at a time for a lifetime. I need and want the program in my life because my life continues to get better each and everyday.
The day started with me finding the hotel’s fitness center and I exercised for an hour. I do enjoy started my day like this no matter where I am and I got in a very good workout. After this day two of the conference commenced. Again just like day one I sat in on some very good sessions which included, internet gaming, problem gambling funding in Kansas, responsible gaming program and moving towards best practices in responsible gaming. The internet gaming session was very interesting and something I was very familiar with for a number of years. The key component I took out of this was when the researcher stated that the compulsive/problem gambler loses so much “time” with their addiction.
I tried my best to cover-up my compulsive gambling and was mostly physically present at my job and at home with my family but this was not a constructive time in my life as my mind was seemingly always somewhere else. Most times when a compulsive gambler comes into GA for the first time the emphasis is on the amount of money lost but this is not the most important element/consequence of the addiction. It is the amount of time lost thinking, planning and actually gambling. This was no way to live life and thankfully I no longer have to live this way. It seems my head is so much clearer now then it has ever been in my life. I still have a long way to go because I still have some preoccupation going on but it is much better then previous.
I attended two sessions presented by two very influential people in my life and in the GA Program. I considered these two people very dear friends and I sat mesmerized with their respective presentation. The very good and educational day had ended and it was time for a very nice dinner. On the walk over to the restaurant I met a fellow GA member who was also in prison for embezzlement crimes. This GA member has subsequently written a book about their experience and it took them 17 years to complete the book. I did my best to pick their brain and was very impressed with how this person has embraced recovery. Also, if anyone sees this person they would be the least likely person to have been in prison. Dinner was great and there were more stories along with great fellowship. I continued to be blessed in so many different aspects in my life.
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