"Pleasure" in the Pain

I made several telephone calls yesterday as I continued to recuperate from the very good marathon. I am amazed I could get a few hours of sleep, run 26.2 miles and still be able to function. My friend said to me last night, “I can’t believe you ran 26 miles today and you are standing in my kitchen, I think I drove 26 miles today and I am exhausted!” As funny as this may seem I do believe it has all to do with my attitude. The human mind is a mystical creature and has lead me to some horrible places but in the past three years as I move in recovery my mind has taken me to wonderful places.

Yesterday morning enjoying every step of the run was one of these wonderful places. I will admit those steps at the later portion of the run were some what less enjoyable then the earlier steps but still enjoyable. I have come a very long way in the past three years and I have come a very long way in the last three months; from the prison yard to the marathon racecourse really isn’t such a bad progression.

I was basking in the aftermath of the run and just recuperating doing my normal Sunday activities such as my laundry. The most difficult part of the running a marathon is the after effects which include painful descending of any stairs and of course the washer and dryer are located on the second level. I was so grateful because as opposed to my previous marathons I didn’t have to climb stairs to get to my bedroom but I did need to climb the stairs to get to the laundry room. The problem isn’t climbing the stairs rather coming down with very sore legs. However; as I have written in the past I must be a glutton for pain because I sort of take pleasure in it. I like to look at it as “pleasurable pain” because it was self induced with the best intentions. This probably doesn’t make any sense but it does to me which maybe the one of the reasons why I am so screwed up in the head!!!

Part of the Sunday evening ritual is the Gamblers Anonymous meeting and we had a very good turnout. It is great to see the new members come back for additional meetings and I continue to gain so much insight from the meetings. We have recently had a new addition to our meetings from a person who has some “time” in the program and this person always has powerful sharing. It is good to hear the newcomers describe their day without gambling and the struggles they face but it is also great to hear someone who really understands the value of the program put things in their proper perspective. Compulsive gambling is an insidious baffling disease and I know I will never be “cured” which is why I want to keep GA in my life one day at a time for a lifetime. It is great to hear others echo this same sentiment and the true power of the program.

The meeting was very good and I had an incredible day. I was able to run around the greater San Diego area in the morning, recuperate in the afternoon and attend a great GA meeting in the evening. The only piece that would have made it a perfect day was being with my family but our reuniting as a family is fast approaching. If all goes to plan in one month from today I will be with my family in New Jersey as we prepare for our drive cross country back here to California. Wow; 30 days and counting down, it has been a long journey but every step has been well worth it.

I was surprised I stayed awake as long as I did last night so I guess the adrenaline was still coursing through my veins from the marathon. I finally collapsed at my usual bedtime and had a very peaceful night’s sleep. I had no intention of getting up and going to the gym this morning as my body most certainly needed the rest. I do plan on going back tomorrow morning for a light workout in order to get the lactic acid out of my legs. I have found working out even lightly does help in the recovery process. In fact it speeds up the recovery process as opposed to just rest.

I was even thinking about when my next marathon should be; which is a far cry from the marathons I have run in the past. I should wait 3 to 4 months which is September or October. I don’t know of anything marathons off the top of my head that are run in these months but I am sure there are many. The marathon that I would like to do once is the New York City Marathon which is run the first Saturday in November every year. Of course if I were to run it this year I would need permission so I need to think whether or not I want to pursue it this year or next year.

I woke still sore but the positive side is the soreness didn’t get worse from yesterday. I’m not about to go out and run a marathon today and I doubt I couldn’t do much running at all for that matter!!! However; the pain is tolerable it is just those pesky stairs which give me a problem and the good side is I don’t have to navigate the stairs anymore. I made my way into to the office for another work week.

I got some items done this morning and I was working I received a very surprising telephone call. This is a telephone call that normally causing my heart rate to speed up and for whatever reason my heart rate did speed up. There was no need for my heart rate to speed up because it was a very nice and very friendly telephone call. The only reason for the call was to inquire about my finishing time in the marathon as it was being compared to another person’s time.

I was shocked and amazed as to how well this telephone call turned out. How this affects things in the future I have no idea but things are moving much better then they have only a few short weeks ago. I continue to trust and believe everything will (and is) work out for the very best. We say in the Gamblers Anonymous Program; “if you do the good things good things happen,” and I am here to say this is 100% correct!!