Compulsive Gambler in Recovery
It is better to build character than to be one.
Saturday, August 16, 2008
In Between Saturday
This is quite possibly the last Saturday in quite some time where we didn’t have anything planned. Softball and baseball kick-off in earnest next week with my daughter starting practice on Wednesday, Friday and next Saturday. My son’s “tryouts” for the Little League team are next Thursday and there appears to be another “tryout” or practice next Saturday as well so today I thought it would be beneficial to go to the Saturday morning Gamblers Anonymous meeting. I had cleared this with my wife because I do want to maintain a semblance of balance and wanted to know if it would be alright if I went to the meeting. I was given the “go ahead” and I was awake early this morning making my way to meeting.
I made it a point to get to the gym this morning because I needed to get in my long run for the week. I think the first two weeks of these marathon training sessions are the hardest because my legs certainly feel it. I have mixed in cycling this week which has alleviate much of the discomfort in my lower legs and this morning I felt very good going for the 14 mile run. Training for a marathon is rather simplistic because on the weekends long runs must be made in order to train properly. Two miles are added each week as last week was only a 12 mile run and next week will be a 16 mile run.
The training schedule calls for the long runs to max out at 20 miles and I know from past experience that this is not long enough and I need to go to 22 or 24 miles. I started to hit the “wall” a little past the 21 mile mark and the longer I run in training the longer it takes to hit the “wall” during the actual marathon so I have added to the training program. As for now I am sticking to what is written and since the intensity and speed is much greater than I have ever done it will take awhile for my legs to get used to this.
The run this morning was very good and I was completed well in advance of the GA meeting. I made my way to the meeting and was greeted by many familiar faces. I haven’t gone to this particular meeting since I departed for New Jersey and before I moved into the new house. I was a bit disappointed that there weren’t many people in attendance but I choose to focus on the positive which is the theme of the GA Program. Yes, there were many familiar faces and in fact I had known everyone in the meeting but in the case of I never know what will be said in meeting came some very powerful sharing.
Usually I don’t have anything in my mind when I enter the meeting but as other member share something usually comes to my mind. This was the case this morning since one long standing member had some very poignant comments. It was stated to me over three years ago when I entered the program that the key is not now but in many years to come. I know the damage gambling has brought to my life and I have no desire to gamble whatsoever. However; I know my personality and how in the past I conveniently “forgot” the entire negative associated with gambling. I would be an idiot if I was to ever gamble again but I have been an idiot in the past. This is why I need to stay connected to the program which means attending at least one full meeting per week.
Yes, things are about to get very busy around work, home and the family but none of this is possible without recovery. It is up to me to make the time for program and I have always heard the excuse of people who are trying to exercise that they “don’t have the time”. I will not make this excuse because it is up to me to “find” the time. I don’t have the time to attend four meetings per week but as we say on page 17 “one meeting per week” is a prescription in recovery.
I was so happy I attended the meeting this morning and the rest of the day was spent at home. We are still unpacking and I think we will be unpacking until we move again!!! It is a slow process and today we tackled the loft area or as the children have named it, the “lounge”. We moved some furniture around and I spent most of the day setting up the desktop computer. I had to load some software and configure the system as well. I am fairly good at this kind of stuff because it is indeed “idiot proof” but when I encountered a new operating system (Windows Vista) I was grounded to a halt. It took me awhile to figure out how to navigate through the system and it appears I have a long way to go. After muttering to myself several times I did get the system up and running. I didn’t figure out how to network everything and I will seek “professional” assistance in this area.
As we were having lunch the doorbell rang and I answered to see three gentlemen outside. These gentlemen were doing a survey on a proposition which appears on the November ballot out here in California. This particular proposition has to do with “same sex” marriage and making the California Constitution “airtight” when it comes to this issue. The surveyors wanted to know where I stood on this proposition and my response was “this is a personal issue and I would like to keep it to myself, thank you”. This could be construed as being arrogant or pompous which wasn’t my intent.
There are certain things I don’t like to share and two of them are politics and religion. This issue hit both squarely so it is easy for me to keep my opinion to myself. I do think that if same sex couples want to share in the same misery that we heterosexuals have encountered since the dawn of time than so be it!!! Yes, that was a joke but I am sure there is someone who could glean some truth!!!
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