Compulsive Gambler in Recovery
It is better to build character than to be one.
Friday, August 22, 2008
Really; "It is Never Too Late!"
The days of leisurely moving in the morning are quickly coming to an end. Next week I start school for the first time in over 20 years. I am finally getting around to complete my bachelor’s degree and I don’t plan on stopping there as I will continue on to a Masters. I have heard “it is never too late” and I agree with not only my education but also my recovery. It is never too late to enter into recovery and yes, I ignored my compulsive gambling addiction for more than 20 years. However; now in recovery I am eternally grateful and no “it is never too late”.
While I spent over 19 months “away” I had a great deal of time to think about many subjects and one of these subjects was my education. Somewhere time has flown by and instead of having to complete one class I will enter into a 14 month program to attain my Bachelor’s degrees which will also set-up my Masters Degree thereafter. I can beat myself over why this has taken me so long but that would be counterproductive. The same can be said for my recovery. Yes, it has taken 20 years too long for both of these aspects in my life but there is no way I can turn back time. I can only utilize the time I currently have in the most productive manner possible. This is exactly why I will finish my degree in the next 14 months.
This morning with the children off to school I made my way to the gym where I would run over 16 miles. I am in week three of my training for the Long Beach marathon and all is going well. The distance and intensity of my training has increased from the San Diego Rock n’ Roll marathon mostly due to my competitive nature. I am not an Olympic athlete and at best I am a bit above average when it comes to running. However; this is something I enjoy and one of my goals would be to qualify for the Boston Marathon. This requires running 26.2 miles in less than 3 hours and 20 minutes. This would be five minutes faster than my personal best time which is why I have stepped up my training.
I was feeling very good this morning but that was after 10 miles as I completed the run I was feeling a bit fatigued and know I have a long way to go in the next 7 weeks. The Long Beach marathon is in 7 weeks and hopefully I can continue to improve on my training. Today was a very good day but do know I have a ways to go but once again time will pass and it is up to how I deal with this time. I will deal the best way I know which is staying positive.
With the run over I headed into the office where I spoke with my boss about my new position. I have given notice in the past and I do treat this as just business. However; my current employer did give me an opportunity that not many people would have and for this I am grateful. Things didn’t turn out how either of us would have liked and it was one of those “Catch-22” positions. If everything was going well for my boss I wouldn’t have had the opportunity I had and unfortunately things never did get better.
My boss took my departure very well and a very good friend of mine summed it as now some of the pressure was off my boss. I hadn’t been paid in awhile and when I started I was expecting much in the way of pay but had hoped I would earn this pay. Once again unfortunately things did not work out so well and now I am departing. I am grateful for the new opportunity and I am going with a company that is doing very well. This position is something new to me but I know I will do well having the proper tools to work with.
I wish my current employer very well but know they face a long road. I have to think about my family and providing for them which is why I am moving on. It certainly would have been nice if my current position worked out but I have learned a great deal about the counseling business. I will take this with me and this will help in my new endeavor. I didn’t give the customary two weeks’ notice but did volunteer my services going forward. I don’t want to burn any bridges no matter the circumstances and I will do what is right. It is right for me finish what I have started and hopefully there won’t be any hard feelings. I know the current situation is very tenuous but hopefully everyone can stay respectful; this is all I can ask for.
I departed the office and picked a bicycle I saw on Craig’s List. Craig’s List is a great resource for used items and I purchased a very reasonable used bicycle. As fate would have it the person who sold me the bicycle was moving back to the East Coast (New York City to be exact) because they couldn’t make their business work out here. I thought this was very apropos knowing my family has recently done the opposite. Anyhow I now own a bicycle so I no longer have to run along with my children as they ride their bicycles.
Later in the day we ventured out to our daughter’s softball practice where I rode this bicycle with my son as our daughter practiced. It felt great getting on a bicycle alongside my son and we had a great time. I also watched a little of my daughter’s practice and she is quite good. She is little for her age but she has very good eye hand contact. She certainly has come a long way in the past few years and who knows maybe she could earn a softball scholarship to college. Of course this a long way off so I will take it one practice at a time!!!
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