Compulsive Gambler in Recovery
It is better to build character than to be one.
Monday, September 08, 2008
"Desire" is very Prevalent
Yesterday was a day of much needed rest for the entire family. I can see this being a pattern for the next few months as Saturdays as action pack days. I did find the time to attend the Sunday evening Gamblers Anonymous meeting and it was good to go back to this meeting. My intention is to attend at the very least the Sunday or Monday meetings and yesterday was a very good meeting. When I first entered the Gamblers Anonymous Program over three and a half years I was in a horrible way (to say the least) however; now things are anything but horrible and can be categorized as wonderful. All of this is directly attributed to recovery and yes, the program really does work.
When I first entered the program I was attending at least four and sometimes five meetings a week because I really didn’t have much to do but also I needed the recovery. Currently I have many more things to do but I still need the recovery. The only requirement in Gamblers Anonymous is the “desire” to stop gambling. I am hoping this “desire” is with me one day at a time for a lifetime.
I messed up in a big way and the only way for me to have a wonderful life is being focused in recovery. GA gives me this focus and I am forever grateful. This is where the “Science of Happiness” comes into play for me. I do believe the article posted yesterday has much merit and the bottom line for me is I know I have the “option” to be happy or be unhappy. The answer is very clear because happiness begat all types of positive attributes and it is truly a wonderful journey.
Today was a very good day and yes, the cycle of the work/school week started yet again. When I sit down and think about it the manner in which time passes is quite startling. Time passes now matter what and certainly the older I get the quicker it passes. When I served my prison sentence I became a big fan of the passing of time. I wanted more than anything for that time to pass so quickly now I am hoping that time slows down. I know time slows down for no one and it is up to me to make the best of this time.
The day was very usual and did pass very quickly. I relish these moments where I help my son and daughter with their homework along with attending their various activities. I used to be so focused in my gambling exploits I didn’t take the time to really understand the magical meaning of life which for me is my family. I am blessed and continued to be blessed and the only reason I still have my family is because of recovery, wow life is truly wonderful.
This evening there was a celebration at the GA meeting and this celebration was a person I have become very friendly with. The person is my sponsoree and even though I now sponsor two people in the program this person was my very first sponsoree. I am a work in progress at the whole sponsor/sponsoree and I doing my best. I am hoping that I have learned something from my sponsor and mostly I just listen. I do add my two sense but who knows where this all goes. This does help in my recovery and I am once again very grateful to the program for this opportunity.
The meeting went very well and it was a speaker’s meeting. I knew the speaker very well and the speaker did an exceptional job. There were two new members in attendance and the meeting was well attended. The new members do bring me back to my first day in the program and I often happy to see people enter the program without the problems I had when I first entered the program. Hopefully these people will come back and experience the miracles of the program firsthand.
The final part of the meeting was the birthday celebration and of course this turned out to be a “love fest” for the birthday celebrant. We do have many special people in our group and we there is more love than anything else in the rooms. This was the case this evening and as always I departed the meeting in a better spirit as when I entered the room. I also must report on the fact that I went back to my old employer to assist with some of the unfinished business I had left for them. I did what I could and as it turned out there was more appreciation than anything else. I didn’t see it going this way but amazingly everything seemed to work out for the very best.
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