Compulsive Gambler in Recovery
It is better to build character than to be one.
Thursday, October 30, 2008
Redemption
My daughter was already to redeem herself later this afternoon at her softball game. She seemed to take Tuesday’s “crying” session in stride and was willing to let it go. I do believe the session with the pitching coach helped tremendously and yes, later on today my daughter would get that chance of redemption. I had my doubts if I could make the game since I had a meeting set-up which conflicted with the game. This was one of those meetings where I didn’t have an idea how long would last and I did wish my daughter well this morning as she headed off to school.
This morning I altered the running schedule as the schedule called for the fourth successive day of running. This is a huge change over the two previous training routines where I hardly ever ran more than two days in a row. I decided to give this schedule a shot and the first three days went well and I probably could have run this morning; however; the high level intense program of running is on Wednesdays and I do need the day off after those days. My legs are feeling very good and I think this schedule is more beneficial. Instead of packing in many miles of running over 4 days I have gone to running 5 days a week adding a few more miles per week. Of course; I will assess the program one training session at a time.
I was better served taking the morning off and concentrating on the few meetings I had today. These were more in the realm of personal connections as opposed to meetings. A good friend of mine had set these meeting s up and I was very excited. Also; my wife’s prospective employer was involved in these meetings as well. Life is all about connecting and yes, due to my indiscretions I have “burned” a few bridges but a whole host of opportunities have opened up as I live my life in recovery. It is all because of recovery that I have these opportunities and without recovery I would be lost in so many ways.
I had a very good day with these “meetings” and yes, I believe they were more personal connections. In this crazy life of mine things do happen for a reason and the more I focus on recovery the more I realize this is very true in all aspects of my life. There is no question in my mind that recovery saves my life everyday and it also enhances my life as well. I am experiencing things now that I have never experienced in 43 years of life. I may have had similar types of experiences but I never really experienced those experiences. (Does that make sense??) I used to just “go through the motions” while being too concerned with my next bet and how I could hide my “secret life”. Thankfully that “secret life” has been obliterated and living life through honesty is the only way to go.
As the day progressed I received an unexpected invitation to a wedding on this coming Saturday. It had been a long time since my last wedding invitation. I think the last invitation was my brother-in-law some 3 ½ years ago and this particular invitation wasn’t the usual wedding. In fact; it was a testament to the Proposition 8 which is on the ballot out here in California trying to abolish same sex marriages. (There will be more on this later this week.) It was an unexpected invitation but the more I thought about it the more I should have expected it. The invitation came from a very good friend whom I have not known for a very long time yet I feel like we have known each other much longer. My wife and I were both invited and we did accept the wedding invitation.
The second meeting of today went as well or actually better than I ever expected. I was attempting to merge two parts of my world into a business deal. My professional and personal contacts did come together and everything went well. I was indeed surprised as to how well everything transpired and I do know there is a very long way to go before it is a “done deal” but this was a great first step and once again recovery plays an integral part of my life.
I couldn’t make the game as the meeting did conflict with the game; however; as the game ended my cell phone rang and it was my daughter with a full report. I knew it had to be good news since she was calling and yes, it was very good news. She did redeem herself and only gave up one run as she started the game. She only walked two batters and for the most part had a great inning pitching; her redemption was at hand!!! She was so excited and I could see the smile on her face as we talked. I was so happy for her and I had a very good idea she would redeem herself. My daughter is a very introspective person and does expect the best. I do wish she wouldn’t be so hard on herself but this is the way she has been it seems like since birth!! She was happy which always makes me happy and it was a wonderful day.
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