Compulsive Gambler in Recovery
It is better to build character than to be one.
Sunday, October 26, 2008
Those Precious Little Moments
Last night was a rarity and I’m not sure when the last time this had occurred. My wife and son were out at religious training as my son prepares for his sacrament. I think the sacrament is a “reconciliation” which precedes communion sometime next year. I won’t go into the whole “communion” party debate because I am sure that will come in time. Anyhow my wife and son were out which left my daughter and me at home together. The rarity occurred when my daughter returned home from the birthday party and we sat and watched the World Series game together. I think the last time it was just the two of us watching a baseball game was 10 years ago as Mark McGuire set the then home run record hitting his 62nd home run while my daughter and I watched.
My daughter is a little bigger than she was 10 years ago because back then she was cradled in my arms; however; my 10 year old daughter cuddled up next to me and watched the game. She stated that she didn’t want to go upstairs and leave me alone. She wanted to stay and she was quite comfortable. My daughter did display some interest in the game and I do believe baseball is a game that it takes time to understand. In this day and age of the Blackberry, texting, PlayStation, email and all the instant gratification the watching of a baseball game does not mesh. Baseball is a game of patience and it is so much more than throwing or catching. I did my best to educate my daughter on the nuances in the game and she seemed genuinely interested.
I couldn’t help but to think back to that time 10 years ago with my 7 month old in my arms watching the baseball game. I don’t believe I had a wager on that particular game but I am sure I had wagers on other games. However; it was a small moment and a very special moment. The moment wasn’t special because of the record setting home run it was special because I was with my daughter. The same happened last night; it didn’t matter that the World Series was on; what matter was my daughter was by my side and we were sharing time together.
This morning was an atypical Sunday because previous Sundays have been family days. The family day would have to wait until I helped a very good friend move. This friend had helped me move back in July and the least I could do was return the favor. I was able to make breakfast for the family prior to departing and these are the little things that I have missed so much. Standing in front of the stove making pancakes for everyone does have meaning and watching my son eat the “healthy” pancakes (yes, I make the pancakes with soymilk and egg whites unbeknownst to my son and daughter) brings a smile. This is all I needed this morning as I headed out the door to help my friend move.
Unlike when my friend assisted me with my move this friend had far fewer items to move. There were only two dressers, boxes and some miscellaneous items to move. The move went smoothly until we made our way to the storage facility where we had to wait 30 minutes to have someone reset my friend’s access code. Once this was completed it was a very smooth move and my friend had much more help than I did when I move. There were three other people to assist and this made things easier. The dressers were heavy because the drawers did not come out but the dressers were moved without incident.
This friend was supposed to be our “border” starting next week but had decided to move somewhere else. This was okay by me and although we can use the extra money I completely understood. I prefer to support people in their decisions even though I may have some issues because ultimately everyone has to learn on their own. Anyhow I won’t mention any of that I am genuinely happy for my friend as they search for happiness of their own.
The move was over and I returned home where we had planned to complete the cleaning out of the garage. Since we had the garage sale yesterday it only made sense to continue the quest of getting rid of the junk in the garage. It did take some time but as the hour approached for the Gamblers Anonymous meeting I had completed my part. It became a tricky time because I really wanted to go to the GA meeting as a very good member was celebrating their 6th year associated with GA. I could tell my wife really didn’t want me to go but was very reluctant to tell me her true feelings. After some consternation my wife did confide in me that she didn’t want me to go; however; I needed and wanted to go which my wife certainly understood.
I made my way to the GA meeting for the birthday celebration. This was a celebration for one of those members who truly gets the program and is a success in many facet of their life. This member is a very successful businessman and someone who was very instrumental in my recovery as I first entered the program. This member truly draws the balance between, family, work and GA very well. We have members who are dedicated to the program and I love these members dearly; however; I think the true intention of the program is to lead a balanced life.
I know my life has been out of balance for so long and when I first entered the program I needed and wanted to go to so many meetings. Thankfully now in recovery I understand that I have to achieve a balance in my life which is why I have scaled back the meetings. The member celebrating tonight also understands this balance and is a great asset to the program. I was so glad I attended because not only was it a celebration; there were three relatively new members in attendance as well. It was a great meeting and I continue to be forever grateful to the program and the amazing members.
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