Midweek Meanderings

As I put my son to bed last night I did my best to explain the historic significance of the evening’s events. I’m not sure if I made any sense to a seven year old but I also remember explaining the historic sense of the events of 9/11 to my then 3 ½ year old daughter which remarkably she still remember some 7 years later. Maybe my son will remember; however as I mentioned yesterday hopefully in his future these types of events will be commonplace as many other “historic” firsts had occurred.

I do believe we as a society are moving in the right direction now if I can only make sense of why same sex marriage has been outlawed I will be a much better person. I must say I was analogizing the same sex marriage debate to my son and daughter. My daughter understood but my son did state that because the proposition was passed that people of color could no marry. That was part of my analogy and I quickly explained the whole “man-woman”, “woman-woman” and “man-man” issues to him and hopefully some of it made sense.

This morning I was in the gym for the most intense running workout I have had to date. Since I have stepped up the mileage so to have I stepped up the intensity and looking ahead at the training schedule it only gets more intense. I haven’t run this hard since I was 16 years old and I was struggling during the session. I did make it through and usually I add more intensity to these sessions but not today. I stayed with the plan and was very happy when the session was complete. It really is amazing how I can get just as much out of 40 minute session as I can out of a session with twice the amount of time. I was drenched and breathing fairly hard upon completion but the great thing is the session was over and I got to cross it off the chart!

I need to take a moment to report how remarkable everything is going in my life and this goes for all aspects of my life. My wife commented a few months ago how I seem to step in “shit” yet come out smelling like a rose. This has been the case most of my life and three years ago when I faced so much uncertainty my wife never wavered in her support even though there were outside pressures pulling her in all directions. It may have been because of my propensity to come out “smelling like a rose” but I like to think recovery has all to do with the wonderment in our lives.

I know without recovery I would have none of what I am experiencing because it all starts and ends with recovery. I am where I am because I entered that Gamblers Anonymous room well over three years ago and have taken recovery seriously. Each facet of my life is firmly planted in recovery and know the “other side” which is horrible; this is why I am eternally grateful for everything in my life.

There is so much happening at work and most of what is happening is not in my normal job description. I was brought on board to help market the company and I continue to do this but it is apparent my job goes beyond marketing as was witnessed with a conversation I had with one of our principals. I may not be the best marketer or by the same token the worst marketer but I am all about personal relationships. I can say I have made some amazing personal relationship over the years and I believe in people. I am a very trusting person and as I was working today I realized that I have a deep trust of most people I met. I know that there have been people who have come and gone out of my life due to my transgressions but there are so many others who remain steadfast in their support.

I am required to reside in California for at least the next five months as I serve parole. Coming back to the place where we have resided made sense in so many ways especially where the children were concerned and the incredible friends I continue to make in the GA Program. My transgressions were of public knowledge but after three plus years the memory has faded from public view. A person told my wife that they give us a great deal of credit for coming back after the ordeal and I know my father did tell me early on that I would have to move out of the area. I don’t know if my ego or my lack of intellect wanted us to come back to this area and rebuild our lives but for whatever reason everything is working out exceptionally well.

This afternoon marked the last weekday game for my son. On Saturday my son had his worst game of the season going 0 for 4 striking out all four times. His slump continued as he struck out in his first at bat but there were signs he was seeing the baseball much better having fouled off the first pitch. His second at bat went much better as he managed to hit the ball and reach first base while driving in a run. On his third and fourth at bat he also hit the ball driving in runs as well. Officially he went 2 for 4 driving in 3 runs and it appears he has snapped out of his slump. He also drove in the game tying run as the game ended due to darkness. This was a much better game and I can see his confidence was back. Saturday is his last game of the fall season and hopefully he goes out with a good game.