Compulsive Gambler in Recovery
It is better to build character than to be one.
Monday, December 01, 2008
Facebox Big Faux Pas
There is something on my mind that I need to get to first. I have become a big fan of Facebook and I have reconnected with people I have not seen in over 25 years. A very good friend of mine suggested I give Facebook a try and I am very thankful for this recommendation. It really is a great way to talk with people who are old friends, new friends and new found friends. I really like the features on the website and it is a great place to store photos as well. If anyone is interested my Facebook homepage is
http://www.new.facebook.com/home.php
. With all this stated I somehow made a major faux pas when using Facebook over the weekend. There are all these neat features and I have barely scratched the surface with these features. These features include listing birthdays of friends, throwing snowballs, poking friends and many other fun features.
As I was perusing through one of these features I somehow inadvertently downloaded online poker into my Facebook page. I do recall coming across the feature but as soon as I noticed it I quickly closed out not wanting anything to do with any gambling related issue. It certainly appears I was not quick enough because on my profile it stated I had downloaded online poker. I had no idea until one of my very astute friends from Facebook asked me in a very kind way why I downloaded this feature knowing my full story. At first I thought this friend was mistaken but a very quick check of my profile did indeed state the unexpected. I was mortified and explained to this very good friend that I had no idea I had downloaded the feature nor would I ever download anything gambling related. I did carry on in my emails to this friend because I was so shocked and I apologized profusely.
I take my recovery very seriously because I know it is a matter of life and death for me. I made horrible choices which lead to terrible consequences not only for me but for my family. Through recovery I do my very best to make the right choices each and every day. My life continues to get better each and every day and I owe it all to recovery. A huge part of my recovery is abstinence from gambling because I realize there is no such thing as “controlled” or a little bit of gambling for me.
There are three places that compulsive gambling can lead people and I have been to two of those places; prison and insane. The third place is death and I refuse to die from my disease. I realize I was a bit dramatic when I discovered the mistake but I was thinking about perception as well. I have not made a wager since February 28, 2005 and don’t intend on making a wager today so seeing online poker associated with my Facebook account was shocking to say the least. Fortunately I was able to delete the feature and now my profile is free of any gambling related site. I do apologize and I will certainly be more careful when I access any features on Facebook; I think for the time being I will stick with the basics!! Finally, thank you to a very astute friend who pointed this out. Accountability is a key feature of my recovery and I do my best to be accountable for my actions and I welcome anyone who has any questions whatsoever.
Today was a great day through and through. I did make my way back to the gym and I have deviated from my training schedule. I started to deviate last week as I listened to my body and this week my body feels so much better I have added to the training schedule. I only added about 10% more today because I felt great and it was a very good run. I am still battling with my earphones since there are some days they stay affixed to my ears and other days they do not. Another problem I seem to encounter is the fact that I sweat so much the sweat interferes with the sound emanating from the earphones. Oh yes, I have problems!!! The earphone dilemma not withstanding everything went very well on my extra run this morning.
I was doing some work out of the house today and I received one of those telephone calls that I seem to be receiving every month that has a huge potential. This came from a very innocent conversation I had early last week and it was one of those conversations I really thought nothing about until my cell phone rang today. I do realize there is a plan for me and instead of doing it my way my hands are off the wheel and I will follow this plan wherever it leads. I won’t get too hung up on the conversation because whatever is going to happen will happen; good, bad or indifferent. I do like the fact that I have the opportunity for these types of conversations because as I entered into recovery many of my options were taken away. Slowly but surely these options are returning and it is all due to being in recovery; yes, it was a wonderful day.
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