New Year's Eve 2008

I purposely stayed in bed longer this morning as I wanted to make it all the way to midnight this evening. I had to hearken back to last New Year’s Eve when I was in my “captive” state as my roommate made it a point of keeping me awake until midnight in spite of my laments. It really is hard to believe that was 366 (leap year!) days ago as my world continues to get better and better with each day. There is no doubt in my mind that the pause button has been released and these days feel more like the “fast forward” button keeps accelerating. It has been an incredible year and as I lay in bed this morning I had to smile thinking how amazing everything in my life has become all thanks to a much better way of thinking and living. Gone are those days where I would have to map out my secrets and live in such a deep seat of denial. Life is so much better now with honesty and the secrets have now disappeared.

My wife had a very difficult time sleeping last night because she is battling a cold. My wife doesn’t do well with colds because they seem to take hold of her and not let go no matter what medications she ingests. She was awake at several points during the evening and mostly tossed and turned. I could hear the nasal voice this morning and I was hoping she would be alright for this evening’s New Years Eve festivities at our house. She is certainly a trooper and a little cold was not going to stop her from having fun this evening.

I did make my way to the gym for my last workout of 2008. My calf has almost heeled as I was not feeling any pain during the intense run this morning. I was indeed feeling some tiredness in my quadriceps which is to be expected as I pile the miles on this week. I wasn’t deterred and got in a very good run making all the way through the prescribed times. There is a point during many of my runs where I do melt into a “Zen like” state and running because almost effortless. This morning I got into this state halfway through the run and my mind was a complete blank. There are those who may say that my mind is a complete blank most of the time so this shouldn’t be any different!! However; this blank state of mind is more blissful than anything and it is my form of mediation.

Step 11 in the Gamblers Anonymous Recovery Program reads; “Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God as we understood Him, praying only for knowledge of His will for us and the power to carry that out.” I am not so good when it comes to prayer and I am working on this and running is my form of mediation which is more than just being. I had mediation explained to me as listening to God but my definition is just being. Often times I would hear what I would want to hear and when I am just being I go into a very blissful state of mind which I believe is God showing the goodness that exists in all beings. I won’t get all “philosophical” now but I can say running puts me in a better frame of mind and this morning I was “being” the best I could be.

I completed my workout and headed home. I am a few things on my “to do” list but apparently the people I needed to speak with had already started their holiday so I didn’t get much accomplished. My wife true to form shook off her cold and was out and about getting ready for our evening festivities. The house was in order thanks to my wife and my children. Our children are incredible as they helped get the house in order for our dear friends this evening. My daughter has become quite the bathroom cleaner and since I have retired from this duty I couldn’t be happier!! My son takes some prodding but he did pitch in vacuuming the downstairs. It is so great to see them being able to take part in real chores.

The house was in order and my wife did try to take a nap before our dear friends arrived but she rested more than slept which hopefully helped her to feel better. Our dear friends arrived and we had a wonderful New Years Eve 2008 ringing or shall I say “banging” in the New Year. Yes, the children went to the old standard of banging pots with a spoon as the clock struck midnight. The joy in their faces was priceless as they banged the pots to their hearts content. Of course we had to send them outside because the banging was indeed quite loud and they seemed to revel at the idea of going outside at a time they would normally be asleep. In fact everyone did make it to midnight (some just barely!) and the New Year had arrived. Happy New Year everyone may 2009 be joyous, special and blessed!!!!