Unravel to Ravel

I sat in a meeting yesterday that could very well set the tone for the company I am working for and I observed this meeting unravel. I was more of an observer than a participant and really I was very grateful just to be in attendance. Yes, it could be construed that I have organized most of the meeting but I carry no decision making authority which is why I deferred to those who carry that authority. The meeting was going along very well and thankfully I am able to be “in the moment” all because of recovery.

This does allow me to take in much more than I could in a “previous life”. I watched things go from very good to not so good and back to good in a matter of hours. The meeting (actually it was a series of meetings) lasted nearly 4 hours since the future of the company would be defined through this meeting. I don’t mean to overstate that last statement; however; I do believe the future is very bright because of what transpired in the meeting.

I know in recovery it is a day to day occurrence because this is all I really have; however; in business there must be one eye on today and one eye on the future since the decisions today determine the success of the business in the future. This is exactly like a decision made in personal life and it does lend credit to the “day at a time” principle; make the right decisions today and the wonderful things start to happen. Obviously I lack a crystal ball and have no idea what the future holds but there were big strides made to at the very least a very good head start to these wonderful things.

I need to get back to being an observer at this meeting as I was truly amazed how things the meeting transpired. I don’t know if it has something to do what I have gone through in the past four years but I suspect it does which gives me a “clean” outlook. I do remember sitting in meetings such as the one yesterday and not being a very good observer. I had so many things on my mind it was near impossible to be in the moment and those moments passed so quickly. Yesterday was a completely different story and so much better. I was kind of amused as the events transpired and fortunately when everything was wrapped up all of the participants were in a much better place than when the meeting commenced.

The day was a success through and through. Most four hour meetings are not exactly productive but this was designed to go through a process. I believe that any meeting that lasts more than 20 minutes is unproductive and I have sat through my share of many unproductive meetings in the past. This meeting had an opportunity to be unproductive but thankfully the process worked as designed and productivity was accomplished.

I guess it had to happen sooner or later and although I had been feeling very good during my runs the ugly injury bug jumped up and bit me this morning. Wednesdays are my high intensity days and I was getting through a high intensity run when I felt a bit of a twinge in my lower calf muscle. Okay it was more than a twinge as it was a noticeable tightness; however; me being me and knowing I only had 2 miles to I kept on running. I was able to get through the high intense part of the run and “dialed” it down a bit as the tightness continued. I probably should have listened to my body better but I wanted to get through the run and it was simply a battle of mind over matter. I pushed through to the end and did feel the pain as I completed the run.

The sad part is that I welcome this pain because in my sadistic mind I hadn’t felt pain like this in awhile and I welcomed the discomfort. The key now is to not exacerbate the soreness and I think it is no more than strains of the calf muscle so cutting back on my running would help get through this minor inconvenience. Next month I am scheduled to run in the Arizona Rock n’ Roll Marathon and funny thing is that almost five years ago I ran in this marathon but didn’t finish due to a problem with my knee.

There is a part of me that wants vindication to complete this marathon but I know that is just my ego talking. I am grateful for any opportunity to run and thankfully I have the opportunity to experience 26.2 miles of the greater Phoenix area. I will monitor this strain of my calf muscle and if I have to cut back on my training I will. I won’t let my ego take over because I know firsthand where that can lead. I do know everything is going very well and I will take it one step at a time.