Gee That's Fascinating!!!!

It is good to be a fan again of sports. I lost that for so many years because of my compulsive gambling and last night I was a fan watching the football game between the San Diego Chargers and the Indianapolis Colts. I will admit I am not exactly a “fan” of the Chargers mostly because of the fans around here. I don’t want to make judgments but I will say that “fair weather” comes to mind. I am a big fan of Peyton Manning and did enjoy the game last night. I watched most of the game with my son and it was a very good game.

The Chargers played very well and did deserve the win. It was fun watching the game with my son and it is a far cry from the days where I would have to “fake” my interest in the game because I would have money on the outcome. This was a ridiculous way to live and thankfully in recovery I have found a positive purpose which does not constitute placing wagers on the outcome of some insignificant sporting event.

This morning was a very typical Sunday morning with the viewing of my usual CBS’ Sunday Morning Program with my wife and son by my side. This was followed with the usual pancake breakfast. My wife was very busy getting the house in order for our guest and the Christmas decorations have been safely put away out in the garage. The house looks different without all the Christmas decorations and it is so nice having the Christmas decorations out. It does add something to the household and adds to that special time of year. Christmas has come and gone but I still have a smile on my face knowing everyday in my life is Christmas morning. It is a gift to wake up with my family and thankfully as long as I follow the tenets in recovery this gift will keep on giving.

I read an article titled, “Study Finds Casino Glitz Doesn't Contribute to Problem Gambling“. This study conducted by the Iowa Gambling Task found that poor decision-making such as occurs with compulsive gambling is caused by a more general mental condition that may include a physiological problem in the brain. No shit!!!! (Sorry I couldn’t resist!!) This study was trying to see if there was a correlation between compulsive gambling and the glitz of gambling. Apparently after years of research the brains of compulsive gamblers (me!) are impaired with either physioligical or genetic defects. Whatever the case I can see from experience I made horrible decisions as I gambled compulsively and no bells or whistles were distracting me from making those stupid decisions!

The study went on to state that problem gambling only spotlights a condition with much deeper roots. I would agree as compulsive gambling is a just a symptom of bigger issue. In my case it all goes back to that poor decision making. I won’t belabor the point but I was incapable of making the right decision when faced with a moral dilemma. I didn’t even know it was a moral dilemma until all the dust had settled. Thankfully in recovery I realize there are choices and I do everything in my power to make the right choice.

Later this afternoon I did watch a little bit of the Minnesota Vikings Philadelphia Eagles football game in hopes of getting a glimpse of the New York Giants next opponent. I admit I was rooting against the Eagles because I think they pose a greater threat to the Giants than any other team in the league. The Eagles did prevail and this sets up a showdown with the Giants next week. That should be a fun game and as my son reminded me the Giants knocked off the Eagles 3-20 something last year and again according to my son the Eagles aren’t very good. I like his enthusiasm and he is a true Giants fan. The game should be fun and we shall see what happens next week.

This evening I made my way to my regular Sunday Gamblers Anonymous meeting. The attendance was much higher than previous weeks and I do chalk this up to it being January. If memory serves me correctly the attendance is much higher right after the holidays than other times of the year. This is much like how the gym is more crowded after the first of the year as people make their New Year’s resolutions. At the gym I notice this every year and after about a month the attendance is back to normal and this is not unlike at the meetings. Hopefully there will be some new members who stick around and see the tremendous value of the program and how it does save and enrich lives just like it does my own. The meeting was very good and the sharing very powerful. There was a new member and several returning members which makes it much better than the usual suspects. I am always grateful to be at a meeting and tonight was no exception. The meeting was very good and it does serve as a strong reminder to me that I am on the right road to recovery.