Compulsive Gambler in Recovery
It is better to build character than to be one.
Friday, February 13, 2009
Not Afraid of Friday the 13th
Whether it is the “Power of Intention” or the “Law of Attraction” I find both theories well at work in my life. I do have intentions that are sometimes deep down in my subconscious which seem to attract positive outcomes. I was a voracious reader as I served my sentence and read Dr. Wayne Dyer’s “The Power of Intention” along with Rhonda Byrnes’ “The Secret”. I enjoyed both books but seemed to get more out of the deeper “The Power of Intention”. Now I am no longer a voracious or for that matter no longer much of a reader. My reading is confined to news on the internet and the various magazines I receive. I did pick up a John Grisham book this week which is a nonfiction work and have started. I am sure I will be reading this awhile because those days where I could polish off a book in a few hours are gone and that is not a bad thing!!
My original point in that last paragraph got a bit lost so to get back on track I need to state that intentions and attractions are one in the same. My intentions attract what they are seeking and this can be good and can be bad. My misdeeds certainly attracted the bad but now in recovery and with life going so well my intentions are positive and attract those positive outcomes. I really can’t quantify how this is all happening because there are certainly “Other” forces at work. These “Other” forces can be construed as a Higher Power and yes, I do believe my Higher Power does figure in all of this both good and bad. It is easy to blame the Higher Power for the negative and for me to take credit for the positive but thankfully through recovery there is no blame nor any credit on my part; everything does point to a Reason and this is very good.
Yesterday was one of those very fast days and I got accustomed to my new position. Yes, I have missed an office in environment and for the first time in a very long time I actually share an office with one of the partners. I know in the recent past I would have hated this arranged but now I welcome this wholeheartedly. When I started my career over 20 years ago I had shared offices but as I worked my “up” the corporate ladder I didn’t have to share an office anymore. I got to a point where if there was a hint of having to share an office or being in an “open” area I would cringe. Obviously I didn’t want to be in that type of atmosphere but now thankfully the hiding and the denial are a thing of the past. It was actually very good to have someone in the office with me and having nothing to hide really does go a very long way.
This morning the new normal routine kicked in and I was out the door before the sun rose. I went to the gym for a very good workout prior to going to work and today was very much like yesterday. This is something interesting happening with the partners at work. I have a great relationship with the two managing partners and I could not have asked for better bosses. This is one minor partner who is not exactly enamored with me being in the office and I suspect this has little to do with me per se and more to do with the other partners. I have been around long enough to not take anything personally especially when it comes to business. I don’t take this personally and I have no idea where all this will lead but I do know that I will continue to do my very best and know everything will work out for the very best no matter what transpires.
I did end up staying much later than I had anticipated at the office because I was talking with my office mate who is also the managing partner of the company. It really is amazing how everything that my life is moving along and how one decision has changed my life for the better. Almost four years ago I entered the Gamblers Anonymous Program and my life has been enriched ever since. The partners in the company are not associated with the GA Program but if I didn’t enter the program I know I wouldn’t have this opportunity and God knows where I would be. I must reiterate that it is so much better to live open and honest. My core personality may not have changed over these past four years but living in the here and now with honest and openness makes life so much better.
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