One Year Removed

My son’s practice was over and we headed over to my daughter’s practice. I did have to make a few calls as I made the short drive over to my daughter’s practice field. I spoke with two very dear friends who seem to be at different ends of the spectrum. One friend is loving life and does embrace each and every day where the other friend wishes the day would disappear as life hasn’t been so kind lately. However; they both have very vibrant spirits and I have confidence that the friend who is doing so well right now will be great very soon. I had to stop and think about the “Law of Attraction” because on the surface these two friends are very different in many aspects to each other and also to me. However; upon further inspection it is all about what is underneath this human skin and they are both good souls and good people. That I believe is the “attraction” and I am so fortunate and grateful to have them in my life.

I made it over to my daughter’s practice and she was waiting for us. She was very happy to have received her uniform for the season and seemed to relish in the fact that the number on her jersey was 31. I am not sure what the connection was but it seemed to have to do with the fact that she was number 32 in the fall and now she is number 31 which means she is not the smallest player on her team. She is certainly not the smallest player on her team as the girls seem much younger this season as opposed to the fall. My daughter is the elder statesman of the team at the ripe old age of 11 and some of the girls are as young as 8 years old. I do think in terms of a team it could be a long season for the “Mighty Bombers’ but I am sure as the season progresses the girls will develop and some surprises will arise. For now my daughter seems very happy with being the starting shortstop and at the prospect of pitching a few innings.

We arrived home to see that my wife had picked up dinner as she came home from work. As hectic as the week might be will always seem to have the time to sit as a family for dinner. The dinner may have only been burritos but the fact that we were all together at the table as a family without any distractions meant a great deal to me. These are quality times and yes, the quantity of time might not have been that longs as the children had homework to do and I had to go see a dear friend but that few minutes was the highlight of my day.

Dinner was over and I went over to a very good friend’s house. This friend has faced some very difficult times as a late and all I could do was lend an ear. We talked or my like my friend talked and I listened very intently. I continue to learn that there is a “process” for most everything in this world and that “process” takes time. I know in my own situation it took me years to finally succumb to the fact that I am and I will always be a compulsive gambler. This continues to be accomplished through recovery and I realize without recovery my life ceases to exist. I can never force anyone into something a person is not willing to do as was the case with myself over the years. I had the warning signs and I had people tell me what I needed to do but I chose my own path. That path led me to places I never thought I would have ever been; however; it continues to work out for the very best. I can only hope that this will be the case for people who make the necessary changes to recover.

The conversation went very well and it seems a new direction was forged. Hopefully this new direction will lead to a great things and I think this will be the case. As I drove home I thought how incredible my life has been not only over this past year but since I entered recovery. Yes, last year I was preparing for my release and now one year later (exactly today) I am so happy to the way everything has turned out. Yes, it is not only incredible but I do believe there has been a Plan in place for a very long time I just finally woke up and realized I needed to let things go. As I let things go my life continues to get better and I am surrounded by wonderful people and wonderful things.

I woke up this morning and the first thought I had was yes, it has been one year since I walked out of that fire camp. I really didn’t know what to expect over this past year I only had some hopes. Well all my hopes have been surpassed as this past year moved along. I was able to meet my family in New Jersey and drive back to California as a family. This did mean the world to mean and being an entire family for the first time in two years has been incredible. I love my wife more and more each day and my children are my idols. I don’t know what I have done to deserve all the incredible people in my life but I am not about to turn back on such great things. I am blessed and so grateful to have this second chance and yes, one year later each day is a blessing.