"True" Recovery

Here it is over four months since my last posting and if there was ever a doubt life does move so quickly!! In summary the last four months have been wonderful, another softball season was completed, my son made his First Holy Communion and unlike when my daughter made hers I was able to see my son make his. It was a great occasion and my incredible family and incredible wife's family made their ways out west to partake in the joyous occasion. Work has taken a turn for the absolute best, truth be told I wasn't exactly "happy" over the early part of this year; however; I continue to learn it is better to be content with what I have as opposed to be discontented with what I don't have. As faith would have it and yes, I am a very big believer in karma everything changed for the better over the past month. I cannot overstate the fact that I am beyond fortunate to even have a job let alone the type of job I have so yes, I am grateful for everything that is bestowed upon me, life is awesome.

That just about sums up the past four months and I realize if I had been writing every day or every other day over that same period I would have had forty or fifty pages not four or five sentences!!! In any event I have been thinking a great deal about "true" recovery over the past few weeks. I believe I am far from being in "true" recovery and I am uncertain if this is even attainable. I am not saying I am falling away from my recovery in fact I embrace recovery each and every day because recovery continues to save and enhance my life at every moment.

"True" recovery in my opinion is having balance in life. I encountered people in recovery every day and some embrace the concepts and others not so much. I do embrace those concepts but I do believe there can be too much of a good thing. For example, I love to run and if I were to run 20 miles every day I am feel better physically (I do think there will be problems with injuries in the long haul especially logging those long miles) but it would become another addiction. Can people become addicted to recovery, in my opinion yes, and I believe anyone (especially me!!) can become addicted to anything good or bad. If a person is addicted to recovery are they still recovering? This is tricky because of course I am recovering from my compulsive gambling addiction and it has been over 5 years since my last wager however; if there is something else that is taking over my life I am no longer in control of my life.

Another for instance is if I work too much is this another form of an addiction and the short answer is yes, and there is a term for it workaholic. I am not and never have prescribed to being a workaholic but I have to say I enjoy being at work and strangely enough in my 20 plus year working career my current position and my current employer is the most amount of fun I have ever had. Yes, there is stress and sometimes I wonder where the day went and what I actually did during the day but I look forward to going into the office. I have gotten off track regarding "true" recovery so to get back to my point (if there is one!!) I think "true" recovery is something to try for but can really never be attained especially for people like me who have addictive type personalities. I am running in the San Francisco Marathon later this month and this will be my 13 marathon and oh by the way I did finally qualify for the Boston Marathon which I will be running next April. I am addicted to running but I do my best to ensure it doesn't take over my life and it all goes back to that balance.

Most "normal" (not sure who that would be!!) people understand the concept of balance while us addicted people know what it means but really don't pay much attention to this concept. I try and sometimes I am successful and other times I am not so successful to have balance in my life but it isn't as simple as it seems. In summary (I have gone a long way with no apparent point, my apologies!!) I seek "true" recovery but understand life moves quickly and as long as I am being constructive as opposed to destructive life continues to improve each and every day!!