Compulsive Gambler in Recovery
It is better to build character than to be one.
Friday, July 25, 2008
Concert with the Family
The return of my family means the return of doing things as a family. As it turns out this time last year my family visited me while I resided in the fire camp not too far away from where we have currently settled. Last year it was a joyous time seeing my family for the first time in one year but this year it is so much more joyous because this is a permanent situation. Last year I knew their visit was only temporary and seeing them was both bitter and sweet. Now it is just sweet!!! We are all together in a permanent situation for the first time in two years and everything is wonderful.
It may have seemed like déjà vu to my wife because last we as a family attended a concert in the park which was a tribute to Neil Diamond. My wife attended this same concert with our children and dear friends last year when they came to visit me but this year there was one extra person in attendance; ME!!! My wife explained to me that it did indeed feel like déjà vu because the seating arrangements were the same and even the play list by the person performing the Neil Diamond songs (who by the way was very good, not a handsome man but he had a very good voice) were the same as list year. However; this year I was there and it was indeed wonderful.
I spent most of the evening waiting with our children as they were in a very long line to get temporary tattoos. I had a great conversation with my daughter who swore to me she wouldn’t ever get tattoos or body piercing. This was good to hear because my daughter’s comments came out unsolicited but she is only 10 years old and I know full well people change. My preference as a father is having my daughter clear of any permanent markings or holes but she will become her own person at some point down the road and will make her own decisions. I do hope these are the right decisions and I am positive these will be in every way, shape and form.
The concert was very good and I really couldn’t believe how much the band sounded like Neil Diamond and the lead singer even had a remarkable resemblance. We were all together for a wonderful family outing and I couldn’t think of a better way to spend a Thursday evening. It was great watching our children run around after the concert with our dear friends’ children. Children don’t seem to have a care in the world when they are rolling down an embankment. They certainly enjoy their moments and this is what I do my best to achieve.
Enjoying the moment and being present are paramount in my recovery. Thankfully thanks to that recovery I am enjoying each and every moment as they occur. Last night I had a smile on my face just observing everything. I still think a great deal about my 19 ½ months that I spent in the California prison system and I can see how people suffer Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. However; be adhering to the principles in the Gamblers Anonymous Program I don’t have to concern myself with this because living one moment at a time is all I need.
This morning being a Friday meant I only needed to spend a few hours in the office. I still have a great deal of work but my mind is with my family. My wife hasn’t started work yet and we really thought we had an “in” with a friend of mine but this didn’t pan out. I know everything will work out for the very best and I know now is the time to spend as much time together as a family. The children start school in a few weeks and I am sure my wife will start work in this same time period. My job is flexible and I control my own hours. I have things I need to accomplish and as long as I accomplish these things I can spend time with my family. Today I opted to be with my family as opposed to being at work.
I spent a few hours in the office this morning after a very good workout earlier. I didn’t get much accomplished because I was dealing with other matters. I don’t know where my job is going which is why I am seriously considering a change. I have a few “feelers” out there and this change will happen soon enough. In the meantime I am forever grateful to my boss for the opportunity. There have been some ups and downs over the past five months but if it wasn’t for my boss I’m not sure where I would be in terms of being employed. I will continue doing my best and once again everything will workout for the very best.
This afternoon I joined my wife as we grocery shopped for the first time as a couple in a very long time. We didn’t have much in the house and really we are starting from scratch so the process was very lengthy. I used to deplore going grocery shopping but today I am grateful for the opportunity. Of course we watched our spending very closely and with prices that have risen considerably in the past two years some items presented me with sticker shock.
I couldn’t believe how much the prices have risen on cheese and so many other products. Oh well we do need to eat and after a lengthy grocery shopping we carted our groceries off to the car. I remember sitting in my room at fire camp waiting for the opportunity to go grocery shopping with my wife and today it finally happened. These little things go a long way for me.
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