The Day has Arrived

I completed the last minute preparations for my trip yesterday evening somewhat later then my usual bedtime. I was very excited and had a hard time getting to sleep. This did not matter one bit because today is the day that I have waited for over the past two years. The judge sentenced me to a four year sentence and I was hoping for a two year sentence but as soon as he started talking I knew it would be the maximum we agreed upon. Thankfully four years means I would serve two years and equally thankfully making it to fire camp saved me four months on my sentence.

All toll I spent 19 ½ months as a prisoner in the California Prison System. Over that time I was able to see my wife on two family visits which meant we spent six nights together. Also I was able to see my daughter and son for one family visit and four weekend regular visits. This all adds up to seeing my wife for 13 days (my wife did fly out to pick me up when I was released back in February) and my children for 7 days over the past two years. Of course this was all my own doing and I am not about to go into the “blame game” because a huge part of recovery is forgiveness especially of myself. There is nothing I can do to get that time away from my family back. The only thing I can do is to live in recovery while embracing each moment. Later today there will be a very special moment and I am very eager for this moment to transpire.

I lay in bed just smiling while thinking about my family. I continue to be blessed in so many ways and my family is a huge blessing. My wife has been incredible even from day one on this much unexpected journey; the words; “We will get through this” still ring clear to me which were said over three years ago. Here it is those three plus years have gone by and thankfully I have found recovery and continue to embrace recovery one special day at a time. Without this recovery these special moments and these blessings would not be in my life which is why I am eternally grateful to Gamblers Anonymous and the very special people I continue to meet.

I have a new found appreciation for the passage of time because no matter what time does pass. It is up to me to make the very best of this time. I continue in recovery making the best of each day and today I will be reunited with my family. The words wow, amazing, incredible and other superlatives come to mind when I think about how everything continues to workout for the very best. I did get a few hours of sleep last night but around 4:00 am I had all the sleep I was going to get. I stayed in bed for another hour and then got up to start this very special day.

I had to start the day at the gym because this helps me tremendously. I would be remiss not to mention writing and how this continues to help me recover. Last night I wrote two entries because I was unable to write the day before due to moving and I felt great after writing. I have augmented my compulsive gambling for something more productive and positive with writing and exercise. I have always enjoyed exercising and it helped greatly in my 19 ½ months “away” along with the writing. I do believe I am moving forward with a much stronger positive purpose along with a peace of mind I had been lacking for so many years. Anyhow I was at the gym very early and our new house is much closer to the gym then when I stayed at my dear friends’ house. I can get to the gym in 5 minutes and from there the office is another 5 minutes away; this is a great commute and I can see a bicycle in my future as gas prices continue to increase.

I got in a great workout mixing all my elements; abdominal routine, weight training and running an intense 10 miles. I had plenty of time this morning before I departed for the airport. I completed the excellent workout and headed home where I made sure I had all the necessary materials for my trip. It has been two years since I last got on an airplane and in that time some of the rules have changed especially when it comes to carrying liquids. I was so paranoid about the “liquid rule” I omitted taking anything that remotely resembles liquid. I refrained from taking shaving cream because I am not privy to all of the rules. My wife has everything “liquid” on the other side of this trip so there wasn’t any need for me to bring any.

I had everything squared away (ah a prison term!!) for the trip and I waited for my boss to pick me up. My boss volunteered to take me to the airport and this worked out great because a dear friend was supposed to take me but their schedule did not coincide with my departure. We made the hour drive in no time and I got out of the car with well wishes. I grabbed my bags and went inside the airport terminal.

I was a bit out of sorts because I thought my online receipt acted as a boarding pass since I didn’t have any luggage to check. I was turned away at the security area and did need to obtain a boarding pass. This process was made very easy with the self-service kiosk. I then got back in the security line and had no issues going through. It is funny because I have my “permission slip” all ready to anyone who needs to see it since I am technically only allowed to leave the state with this permission. There weren’t any alarms, bells or whistles that went off as I proceeded through the security checkpoint. I made my way over to the gate and smiled thinking back to a conversation I had with my roommate while in prison about the prospect of boarding an airplane.

I have been on countless airplane trips over the course of my lifetime and I would say hands down I took every one of those for granted. I never thought the ability to be able to board an airplane would be taken away from me; however; due to my compulsive gambling exploits it was taken away from me. This is why today I relished every moment of the process. I didn’t care the length of the security line or that I was in a middle seat on the first leg of the trip. The fact of the matter is I am on an airplane flying to reunite with my family the rest is the small stuff. Whoever wrote the book; “Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff” was correct because there is an abundance of small stuff which sometimes overshadows the meaningful stuff such as family.

I made my way from San Diego to Phoenix on the first leg without incident. I passed the time talking with a very nice fellow passenger and reading Harlan Coben’s “The Innocent”. I started this book when I was release but hadn’t picked it up in a very long. The flight was very short and we were right on schedule. I had a two hour layover which gave me time to get something to eat and with my picky eating habits this was no small task!! I settled for a vegetable sandwich from the “Potato Place”, which wasn’t all that terrible. I passed the remainder of the time people watching and certainly enjoying the fact I was well on my way.

I am writing this as I am about an hour away from landing in New Jersey. This leg started an hour later then scheduled due to “congestion” in Newark which is not unusual. The first half of the flight was very bumpy but has smoothed out. I did finish reading “The Innocent” and it was another very good Harlan Coben novel. He has a great way of tying everything together at the end and he really doesn’t waste any words. Now I am counting down to T minus one hour before I see my family; WOW what a long strange, special, and incredible trip it has been and it gets better with each passing moment!!!