Compulsive Gambler in Recovery
It is better to build character than to be one.
Tuesday, July 22, 2008
Return to a Very Special "Normal"
We finally lay down as a husband and wife in our very own bed for the first time in over two years yesterday evening. I had been waiting for this very moment for the past two years. It was great to hear my wife say the same thing as she too had been waiting for this moment. It was time to hold each other and cherish the moment. It has been a long road to get to this point but we finally made it to a point where we are together and being with one another which seemed like the first time was very special. I still remember our wedding night over 15 years ago like it was yesterday and last night was equally as special.
The night’s sleep was very restful and it was like old times as my son made his way in our room shortly after 6:00 am. He had down this two years ago and he is picking up where we left off. It was wonderful to see his smiling face at the early hour and I made it a point to be home just in case something like this transpired. Normally I would be up and at the gym during this time period but my return to the gym could wait one more day as I wanted to soak in every moment. My son did provide a very genuinely touching moment as he hopped into bed with us. He took up his familiar spot in the middle of the bed strategically placed directly between my wife and me. It seemed like we were making up for lost time in a hurry.
We all stayed in bed for another hour or so and it was time to get up to start the day. I was to return to work today and my wife kept asking me if I could take one more day off. I had been away for the past two weeks and I wanted to stay home with my family but I needed to strike a balance so I went in for only half the day. Waking up with my entire family in our home was incredible and even my daughter made a rare early morning appearance before I departed for the office. This was unusual because normally if she is not woken up she will sleep until at least mid morning. She too had a smiling face which again was unusual for the normally grumpy pre-teen prior to noon. We were certainly off on the right foot.
I kissed everyone goodbye and went into the office for a few hours. I was greeted with hugs as I entered the office and it was good to see everyone. It wasn’t so good to see all the work that had accumulated over the past two weeks but being in recovery continues to teach me to take everything one step at a time. The work will get done and now I need to balance my activities accordingly and this also means attending the Gamblers Anonymous meetings.
I have been attending at least four meetings per week for the past four plus months since my release because I didn’t have too much else to do. Now with the return of my family comes a more balanced approach to life. Today was a good example as I put in a few hours at the office and went home to assist my wife with unpacking of the many boxes in the garage. I spent most of the time dealing with the installation of the cable, internet and telephone making sure all the electronic items were up and running. We have decided to go with one provider and this seemed to make the most sense both practically and financially.
The installation was complete and I was able to ensure all the electronics were in working order. I also spent most of the evening getting the audio configure on the television in the family. I have a surround sound package but because this is not our house I won’t be drilling any holes in the walls so I decided to forego the surround for just additional speakers. I am not the most handy person when it comes to most things but for some reason I can deal with electronics. I surprised myself by hooking up the speakers along with the same component which operates the DVD. It did take me much longer then someone who knows what they are doing but I did set everything up with no spare parts!!! This is a major accomplishment for me.
The day was a balancing act and I thought it was prudent to forego the Tuesday evening GA meeting while continue to assist my wife with the unpacking. This was the right option and I do understand my need and want to participate in the GA program which will resume as we get into a normal routine. This evening was spent with the family and we (mostly my wife) unpacked one box at a time. It was a wonderful first full day as a family all under the same roof.
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