Beauty of Recovery

Since I didn’t make the usual Sunday Gamblers Anonymous meeting I attended last night’s Monday “topic” meeting. The Monday meeting is a bit unusual because it alternates between a topic and a speakers meeting. I have the pleasure and honor to Secretary the speaker’s meeting every other Monday and last night was the alternate a “topic” meeting. When these meetings started three years ago they were separate with the Speakers meeting on Mondays and the topic meeting on Wednesdays. The attendance wasn’t so good for both of these meetings and I believe it got increasingly more difficult to find a speaker every week so these meetings were combined. The meetings were combined while I was “away” but it was great that an alternative solution was found to keep both meetings.

These meetings are indeed a bit unique to our group but they are very effective meetings. The meeting only lasts for one hour and it is good to know that the meeting will always start and end on time. The meetings are volunteer participation meetings which mean if someone doesn’t want to share they have every right to remain silent and on speaker meeting evenings the sharing is kept to a minimum since the focus is on the speaker. The topic meetings are focused on the topic of the evening but if a member has something they need to share then it is more than okay to share what is on their minds. Additionally both of these meetings are no comment meetings which keep the meeting moving along and allow the meeting to end in an hour.

I do like these meetings and judging on the attendance of the last few meetings it appears Monday meetings are more popular than Sunday meetings. Last night the attendance was once again very good and the meeting just as good. The topic of the meeting was “regaining trust” which is always an excellent topic. More important than the topic was the fact that there were two new members in attendance. I know the devastation compulsive gambling can cause since I have been there and done that; however; I also know the beauty of recovery.

I always hope the new members come back and experience the miracles of recovery. I don’t know if these two members will come back and it is always heart breaking to hear the stories of despair. There is a better way to life and it isn’t spent gambling in a casino, racetrack, online or any other venue of choice. Life is so much better without gambling and hopefully these two members will understand they never have to feel the way the felt last night ever again.

The meeting was indeed very good and for the first time in a long time not ever member had the opportunity to share. Time had run out on the meeting but those who didn’t share seemed okay to just listen and I have to agree I learn more by listening than by speaking. I continue to hear things in a meeting that helps me each and every day. The beauty of GA is listening and learning which does enhance my recovery. Thank God for Gamblers Anonymous and the wonderful people associated.

The meeting had ended and I was feeling very good as I returned home for the evening. The children were tucked in and yes, I thought once again how many blessings I have in this world. I may have lost material items through my transgressions but I have gained so much more in recovery. I do like the way things are working out and yes, it is amazing how well everything continues to move in my life. It was interesting as the discussion turned to “regaining trust” in the meeting because for me I know there are many people who will NEVER trust me again no matter how much recovery I have in my life and that is okay by me. I realize there are many things I can control and I also realize there are many more things that I cannot control. I cannot control the perception that others have of me and once again that is okay because “what someone thinks of me is none of my business”. As long as I work my recovery to the best of m y ability I know everything will be wonderful and it is.

This morning I returned to the gym after a three day respite. I didn’t intend to miss yesterday’s workout but in my zeal to obtain Bruce Springsteen tickets the morning got away from me and I didn’t make the time to get in a workout. I can rationalize away that I “deserve” the time off but the reality is I just missed the workout and was back at it this morning. I am still in a quandary when my next marathon will be so I haven’t started an official training program.

The San Diego Rock n’ Roll marathon is on the last day of May which is four months away. I don’t want to wait this long but I realize I need to assess one day at a time. I do want to take part in the local triathlon but I still haven’t found a pool and it appears I won’t be able to switch gyms until March when my current membership expires. Additionally, I need to change my bicycle so there are logistic issues in place. I know I will take part in a triathlon sometime this year and I also know I will qualify for the Boston Marathon sometime this year. Life indeed is wonderful!!