Spreading Mulch

The upside to getting up early, working out, and working outside in the hot sun all day is that I am able to fall asleep very early. For the second day in a row, my friend/roommate turned in at 9:00 p.m., and I was not far behind, turning in 30 minutes later. When I finished my writing I listened to the radio, but as I was listening, I found myself falling asleep. I put the radio away and then went to sleep. I had a good night’s sleep only waking twice during the evening. I didn’t quite make sleeping three hours in a row. I made it 2-1/2 hours the first time and just less than three hours the second time. I am getting used to my new mattress, and the only issue I am having is with the pillow. The pillow is too big, and I wake up with a neck ache. This past weekend my friend did “surgery”. He placed the stuffing in a pillowcase and served it up. This was much better than the very firm pillow I first received; however, I think we made the pillow too big, and this coming weekend my friend will perform more “surgery” to rectify the problem.

My neighbors have now abandoned their early-morning workouts. I have to hand it to them because this week and last week they were able to get up and work out on Monday but slept in the rest of the week. Now they haven’t even set their alarms for the 5:00 a.m. wakeup call. I don’t have a backup to my own alarm system. (My own alarm system is me waking up at 5:00 a.m. everyday on my own without the assistance of an alarm clock). I am a very light sleeper, and there are a few guys in the dorm area who get up at my time, so I can sense when it is time for me to wake up. My own internal alarm did not fail me this morning, and I have now bypassed the debate of whether or not I should get out of bed. I automatically get out of bed each morning.

This morning I got up and went outside to run. I went over to the office to notify the C/O on duty that I would be running around the track. The C/O on duty was outside, and I approached her to inform her that I would be running. She then told me I couldn’t start running until 6:00 a.m., which was in 30 minutes. She stated the yard did not open until this time. I sort of know this, but over the past three weeks, I have been running around the track before 6:00 a.m. without incident. The rules are so hard to keep track of with 10 different officers interpreting the rules 10 different ways. Obviously, I could not argue with the C/O this morning, so I just said, “Okay”. Since I was outside I decided to do an abdominal routine. During this routine, the same C.O came up to me and told me I could do that “running thing” because there weren’t any alarms set around the track. I thanked her and finished the ab routine. After the ab routine, I started my run about 15 minutes behind my normal schedule. By the way, the C/O this morning was very nice on both occasions, and unlike her colleague, she was very cordial. I am sort of weird. Okay, that is an understatement. I am very weird when it comes to my exercise time. I like to have a 90-minute allotment and try not to fall short. I have been going over this amount in the past two days, but today I could not because I would be cutting it too close to missing breakfast. I embarked on the run and ran for 87 minutes which was great. The weather is getting warmer even in the early morning hours, and this morning I got a good sweat. I did a combination of hill running and flat running. I felt good after I finished.

Of course, when I finished, I embarked on the showering, dressing, and going-to-breakfast routine. Breakfast was back to the hot cereal/potato servings for me. I was able to give my omelet to my friend in exchange for his hot cereal. Since it is a Wednesday, the PB & J is not offered. This meant I had to prepare my own sandwich again. I did have a leftover PB & banana sandwich from yesterday, but I wanted to make additional sandwiches just in case I got hungry. After breakfast, I returned to my room and made two PB & banana sandwiches. I placed these in my lunchbox with a South Beach protein bar. My lunch was all set, and my friend and I went outside wait for the work call. We had to find some shade because the temperature was, indeed, heating up.

The work call finally arrived a little later than normal because Wednesdays are moving days. This is the day some inmates get sent back to the big prison. This happens for various reasons such as utilizing a cell phone, testing positive on a drug test, or drinking alcohol. I’m sure there are other reasons, but usually, those are the big three. The C/O’s random drug test inmates, and over the past week, two crews were tested. This means at least 32 inmates were drug tested, and today, one of those was getting sent to the big prison. As it turns out, the inmate had been here only for one month, and this is the second time has been booted from a fire camp. I’m not sure what will happen to him since this is his second time. I do know first-time offenders who test positive for drugs have to go back to the big prison for at least 90 days, and this time could be added to their sentence. If they stay clean after returning to camp for more than 180 days, they can get this time back. It really is a shame than anyone tests positive for drugs here. This is the best possible place to do time in the California Prison System. Also, for inmates such as me who serve half of their sentences before being eligible for parole, fire camp is the only place in the system which reduces that time even further. This is enough of an incentive for me to not mess up. The sooner I get out the better because this gets me to my family sooner. Unfortunately, this sentiment is not shared by all inmates because people are getting rolled up for this reason almost every week just like today. The prison system is giving inmates a chance at fire camp, but those who continue to test positive for drugs should not be at a fire camp. They should be in a drug program. Anyhow, the camp lost one inmate today which delayed the roll call.

The work call arrived, and we boarded the bus. We were told our assignment was the same as yesterday, which was no surprise to anyone. The captain did not hike us today, and it appears hiking is a once-a-week task. We made our way to Diamond Valley Lake area and went into the entrance. As we made our way in, we stopped near the entrance and parked. This wasn’t where we were yesterday, and it became apparent our task had been modified. We got out of the bus and, sure enough, it was. We were tasked with spreading mulch from the entrance to the lake all the way back to the frontage road or both sides. This was about a ½-mile area. We were armed with pitchforks, Mcleods, and rakes. An 18-wheel tractor trailer dropped off the first load of mulch and came back two other occasions. If you will picture an 18-wheel tractor trailer empty, and now picture it filled with nothing but mulch. I am not sure how many cubic yards this encompassed but to say it was a lot of mulch would be an understatement. We had to spread the mulch from the road down into the drainage ditch. The mulch had a wonderful aroma (not!) reminiscent of a dairy farm. It would be accurate to say I was knee deep in poop all day today! The one positive (and there was only one) of the mulch was it was very light.

We worked for two hours and made good progress but were nowhere near completion. Normally we seek shade for lunch, but not today as we stayed where we worked. There weren’t any trees anywhere. The captain had a thermometer and took it out. At 1:00 p.m. today, the temperature was 101 degrees with 25% humidity. Yet, it was hot, and I was not dressed accordingly. We are required to wear long pants, long-sleeved shirts, and gloves while working. The new captain has required us to wear our helmets when working but, thankfully, not today. It didn’t take much to work up a sweat, and I went through over a gallon of water. At lunch, I wasn’t very hungry but knew I had to eat something. I did eat the usual apple, PB & banana sandwich, and the protein bar. I wasn’t exactly into working this afternoon but had no choice. We went back at it for another two hours and were able to spread out most of the mulch. We were still not finished, and it appears two more truckloads of mulch are needed. Thankfully, the person who works maintenance for the lake had a medium-sized, front-end loader, which helped tremendously. If it weren’t for this piece of equipment, we would not have been able to do what we did today.

The workday ended with everyone exhausted including me. Standing and working in the hot sun does wear a person down. Even my friend who is a good worker (he puts me to shame) was exhausted at the end of the day. It appears we will be coming back tomorrow to finish up, and the temperatures should be the same as today, in the 100’s. No one ever said fire camp would be easy, and this is what I expected. Fire season has started, but I have only been in the one fire. Things will get even harder when the fires start, so it will be a very interesting summer.

We arrived back at camp, and my late afternoon routine ensued. While I was picking up my clean clothes, I noticed a memo in the laundry room window. The memo stated that effective immediately everyday is inspection day due to the uncleanliness of certain rooms. This means I have to put everything (all my writing materials) in my locker when I leave for work in the morning. Also, the floor must be spotless. Many of my fellow inmates viewed this memo as a directive from the sergeant, and I will comply.

I am on schedule this afternoon, and my friend and I went to dinner. The dinner was spaghetti in meat sauce with beans, green beans, and salad. Thankfully, the spaghetti and meat sauce are served separately. I passed on the meat sauce and ate the spaghetti plain. The beans were very good. I certainly got enough at dinner. I returned to my room where I now have gotten into the routine of writing before mail call. This gives me an hour of writing time. I went out to pick up my mail which was all reroute from Jamestown. I had several pieces, and they were all from my immediate family. There was a very special letter from my nephew. The letter was well written, and it brought tears to my eyes. My nephew has been very instrumental with my son and treats him just like a little brother. My nephew is a good person. In fact, he is a great person. This letter touched me very much. The other mail was from my mother and sister. I am very blessed in so many different ways, and the saying goes, “You can’t pick your family, but you can pick your friends.” I wouldn’t trade any of my family because they are all extra special. The rest of the evening was filled with writing and talking.

Is It Really 11 Months Already?

My friend was very tired last night and went to sleep at 9:00 p.m. I was not far behind. I wrote all night long and decided to call it a night at 9:30 p.m. I was tired most likely due to the lack of sleep from the previous evening. I was able to sleep four hours straight, which is a record for me. I only got up one other time during the evening. I believe the cold medicine I took earlier in the evening helped with my sleep. It was a good night’s sleep, and I was actually awakened by my neighbor’s alarm. Usually, I am awake before the alarm goes off, but this morning I was tired. I did get out of bed and start my early-morning routine. My neighbors slept in, but my roommate/friend got up early this morning to exercise. Last week, he only got up early on Monday and slept in the rest of the week. He has changed his exercising schedule to Tuesday, Thursday, and Saturday. He did very well this morning, and hopefully, he can stick with his plan.

The early-morning routine was the same for a Tuesday. Today was the burpee/pushup routine. I am starting to exceed my 90-minute time limit. This morning I did 450 burpees, which equals to 1200 pushups. Strangely, I sweat more with this routine than when I run. I’m not sure why this happens, but it does. While I was doing my routine, I kept a watchful eye on my friend who was hiking the mountain. It was good to see him up and about in the early morning, and I do hope he develops a routine. My exercise routine has helped me tremendously, and yes, I am anal about my exercising, but I would be lost without routine. I am hoping my friend establishes a positive routine in here and, when he paroles in 9 months, he takes the routine with him. We do make the “Odd Couple”, but each of us has a positive influence on each other. I am so happy my friend has become my roommate and that I am on the same crew. He is a good person and a good friend.

My exercise routine ended, and the second part of my morning routine ensured with me taking a shower, dressing, and going to breakfast. The breakfast today was the pancake and oatmeal breakfast. This appears to be a weekly staple, and today the pancakes were larger than last week, but each of us only received two instead of three like last week. I was able to obtain an additional two because one of my tablemates (the same one as last week) is on a quasi diet. I say quasi because he is just watching his bread intake and nothing else. This loss was my gain this morning as I ate his pancakes. I did have a very filling breakfast.

At breakfast, we get to make our sandwiches for lunch when peanut butter and jelly are served. Usually, Tuesdays and Thursdays are PB&J days, but this morning there wasn’t any peanut butter or jelly served. This meant I had to prepare my own sandwich back in my room. I finally opened on of the jars of peanut butter I received back in December. Up until last night, I had no need to open the jar. Last night, I was still hungry after dinner and thought a peanut butter sandwich would be a good idea. I made the sandwich, but I finally had to use my own peanut butter. Today, I had to make my own sandwich, and I use the jar of peanut butter for the second straight day. Since I had a banana left over from Sunday’s breakfast, I went with the PB & Banana sandwich. This worked out fine, and I certainly have enough of my own food, so I don’t have to rely on the state to provide. I made the sandwiches (the banana netted two sandwiches) and place them in my lunchbox. I also opened up another one of my package items this morning. I was in the mood for lemonade, and I opened the Crystal Lite Lemonade. I placed the drink mix in my CamelBak, and just like that, I had lemonade coming out of my CamelBak instead of water. This was a nice treat because, with the added ice, the lemonade tasted very good.

I was already for work, and the work call arrived just as it does everyday at 8:30 a.m. We lined up for checkout, and off we went to work. Our assignment was very similar to yesterday. We went back to the same place and whacked weeds. Before we reached our assignment, the captain stopped for a hike. Unlike last week where the hike lasted a total of one hour, this hike was much shorter. Also, I knew the rules going into the hike, so I started out near the front of the line. I was second in line and remained there all the way to the top of the hike. I tried my best to catch the first crew, but he was a good 100 yards in front of me. He is also 20 years old and has world-class speed. I closed the gap as we neared the top, but he still finished in front of me. It only took me eight minutes to reach the top. The rest of the crew arrived five minutes back. It was a great hike, but it was very steep. I enjoyed the hike and look forward to doing this more often. The new captain is not nearly in as good of shape as the old captain, but he is trying his best. He is a big man, and the last eight years he has spent manning a desk has not helped his hiking ability. For some reason (probably a control issue), he went first on the way back down, and no one was allowed to pass him. As I mentioned, it took me eight minutes on the way up, and it took 12 minutes on the way down. With the captain leading the way, the descent was slow going. Yes, it was very steep, and moving quickly would have been very hazardous; however, the captain took caution to a whole new level with a slow, methodical hike down. The hike was over, and we loaded back on the bus. We then headed to our work assignment for the day.

We arrived at Diamond Valley Lake which is operated by a local water district. The lake is very large and is only a few years old. I remember when the lake first opened, and I was making plans to take my children fishing; however, I was too wrapped up in my addiction. One thing led to another, and now I am cleaning up around the lake instead of fishing in it with my children. Thankfully, this has worked out for the best all due to my recovery. As long as I stay in recovery and live one day at a time, one of these days I will be fishing with my children. I finally understand the value of time and how it is fleeting, which is why living one day at a time makes the best sense.

Today, we were tasked with the same things as yesterday. We went to another area where the lake is leaking and cleared out a path so the engineers can monitor the leak. The first area was very easy, and all the tools were taken, so I hiked alongside everyone. I was picking up the cut brush with my hands, but the captain advised me to stop because the brush had stickers, and he only wanted the pitchfork to pick it us. Essentially, I only hiked and picked up the non-sticker brush. This did not take much time, and it was now nearly lunchtime. The captain drove to the next work area around the lake, and we stopped for lunch in a shady area. I broke out the PB & banana sandwich along with an apple and Nutri-Grain bar. I ate underneath a tall shady pine tree. I remained there for most of the lunch. The rest of the lunch period I spoke with a crew member who is just like me. He didn’t commit the same crime, but he does stand out because he sticks out like a sore thumb. He is finishing up his 15-month sentence and is due to go home in 2 weeks. I had a good conversation with him regarding his wife and family. He has been married the same amount of time I have (14 years) and has 2 children as well. His children are a little older than mine, and he hasn’t seen them in 15 months. This is by choice. His wife visits him every weekend, but they decided not to subject the children to the visit. I understood his reasons, but I can’t go 19 months without seeing my children. Everyone is different, and everyone has their reasons. For me, it is necessary to see my children. I realize when it comes time to leave, it will be very difficult, but I will not worry about this now. They are coming next month, and I can’t wait.

The lunch period was over, and it was time to pick up the pitchfork. Our next assignment was a rather large task as we had to clear all the vegetation around an oversized lake. Clearing the vegetation would take the use of two chainsaws, two bladed weed trimmers, and several stringed weed trimmers. I was able to utilize a pitchfork, and those of us with them had to pile up the cut brush. At some point in the future, these piles will be burned because there is too much cart away. There wasn’t any way we would finish this task today or this week for that matter. The captain called it a day at 3:00 p.m. because the afternoon temperatures were in the 90’s, and the humidity level was up. There is plenty of work for us; there isn’t any sense in hurrying.

We still had 45 minutes to kill until we could head back to camp. We put away the tools and talked. Once again, I spoke with the very normal crew member. He is a good guy and is not the typical inmate. It is amazing how the “white collar” criminals stick out. There aren’t may of the “white collar” criminals, which is a good thing, and I suspect there are more of these in the federal prisons. This crew member has the proper attitude, and it is highly unlikely he will be part of the 70% recidivism rate.

It was time to head back to camp, and we made the 45-minute drive. As we were driving, I was getting very hungry, and I thought about eating the other PB & banana sandwich but refrained. I was saving myself for the Mexican food dinner. It is amazing how much the little hike raised my metabolism. The same thing happened last week as when we hiked I grew very hungry. I was looking forward to dinner. We arrived back at camp, and the C/O checked us in. As he checked me in, he told me to go to the window. This meant the C/O needed to speak with me. This was very unusual, and I was hoping it wasn’t bad news from home. I went over to the window where another C/O greeted me. This is the C/O I have had a difficult time with since I arrived here. When she greeted me, it was less than cordial, and it turned out I had to wait for the C/O who checked me in. She did not know what I needed at the window. I waited five minutes, and while I waited, I thought about all the different types of people in the world. The C/O who has given me a hard time since I arrived is in a category by herself. She really had no reason to be less than polite to me but yet she was. I do accept this because there is nothing I can do about her demeanor. I will not allow this to affect me, and it is a shame how some people are just miserable all of the time. Anyhow, the C/O I needed to speak with returned to the office. I had all these terrible thoughts as to why I was there. As it turns out, yesterday during inspection, the fan that was given to me last week was confiscated. Apparently, this fan is not camp regulation because it is gray. Only fans that are white or clear are allowed. How the fan lasted this long in camp I’ll never know, but now it is gone. The C/O wanted to know what I wanted to do with the fan, and I told him to drive it to a charity, preferably not the C/O charity fund (no, I didn’t say that last part because I knew better), so all my worrying was for nothing.

After the discussion with the C/O, my late-afternoon routine ensued. I picked up my clean clothes, returned to my room, got undressed, took a shower, dressed, and waited for dinnertime. My timing was a little off due to the conversation with the C/O, so I only had a few minutes before dinner. My friend and I went to the dining hall and waited in line for dinner. Yes, it was Mexican food night, and I received the beans, rice, and corn. I gave away the very large chicken enchilada to my friend in exchange for his rice, beans, and corn. I only took half of his corn because I didn’t want to take all of his side dishes. I was hungry and finished all of my food. I event went up for more rice and beans. The C/O does call for seconds after everyone has been served and if there is food remaining. Today, only the rice and beans were remaining, and I filled up. The dinner did satisfy my hunger.

It was back to my room where I would write until the mail call was announced at 7:00 p.m. I received one pied of mail, and it was a Father’s Day card from a very dear friend. It was the same very dear friends who visited me on Sunday. They are so thoughtful, kind, and considerate. I continue to be blown away by their love and support. I am truly blessed to have wonderful people like this in my life. I read the card, and I got a warm feeling in my heart. After receiving the mail, I went back to my room and wrote the rest of the evening. As I finished up writing, I remembered today made 11 months exactly since my sentencing date. Has it been 11 months already? Wow, time does go by quickly, and this odyssey will be over very soon. At the end of the odyssey, I will embark on a new life with my family. I certainly look forward to being with my family with all my heart and soul. I love them so much and miss them so much. I only have 8-1/2 months remaining until this happens, and it will be wonderful.

Touch Football

I certainly have a cold, but it is stuck in my throat and head. I guess this is commonly called a head cold. I did my best to self-medicate mostly by drinking tea and taking vitamin C. The tea wasn’t the best idea, especially during the evening. I drank four large glasses of tea; two were green tea, and two were orange and cinnamon tea. The tea did seem to help as my voice had gotten a little better; however, I paid dearly for drinking the tea at night. I’m not sure how much actual sleep I received last night because I was up and down every 20 minutes. I was able to flush my system, but the flush most certainly disrupted my chance of sleep.

Prior to falling asleep, I was able to finish The Sky is Falling by Sidney Sheldon. I think I have read other books by this author, but I cannot recall the names, nor do I remember if I enjoyed them or not. I wasn’t exactly enamored with the book and the story. It had many possible sidelights, but none of them were explored. The story culminated in only two pages, and this was misguided in my opinion. The best part of the book was that it read very quickly, and it did not drag on. Otherwise, I was disappointed. All the books I read cannot be good ones. My mother did send me this because she thought I would like it. The storyline had all the things I like, but overall, it fell flat. This is bound to happen, and I will read the good with the bad.

Since I had so much tea in me last night, I stopped counting after the 10th time I got us. Getting up during the night here is so much better than in Jamestown. There is a community bathroom/shower room, and I have to go outside very briefly to get to it. I pass other rooms to get there, and last night my neighbor was snoring so loud I thought the walls were going to cave in! This is the first time I have heard him snore, so it may have been an aberration. He, too, had a visit yesterday and was probably exhausted from it. Also, knowing how he eats, he was probably very full from the visit as well. Whatever the case, he was very loud. This didn’t keep me up—it was the tea.

My usual wakeup time of 5:00 a.m. came around, and I didn’t even have a debate with myself regarding whether or not I should stay in bed. I got out of bed and started my early-morning routine. Today, being a Monday, it was a new day. I went outside and embarked on an, at least, 90-minute run. I need to alternate my runs with the hill and the flat surface. Today, I ran more on the flat surface than on the hill. I ran for 96 minutes, and as I ran, I felt so much better. It is fairly amazing how my head cold seemed to dissipate as I ran. I do believe in sweating out a cold as long as it is above the neck. My cold is above the neck, and I did get a good sweat this morning. The surfaces I run on here are so much better than the horrible asphalt I ran on in Jamestown. The dirt here is so much for forgiving, and I don’t have any of the aches or pains I had running on the asphalt. The very good run ended, and it was back to my room.

Mondays are also inspection days, and my friend/roommate has taken it upon himself to prepare our room for the inspection. The only things I have to do are making my bed and wipe down the top of my locker. My friend swept, dusted, and mopped the floor. The inspections are a bit particular as the C/O’s want the beds made a certain way. They also want all the scuffmarks off the floor. All areas must be dusted and the lockers locked along with all the trash taken out of the trash can. My friend ensured the room was in tiptop shaped. In fact, since I come back from exercising each day with little time to spare before breakfast, my friend does most of the daily sweeping and mopping. I have to tell him to stop and remove the broom from his hand in order for me to do this. My friend is a very good roommate is always looking out for our best.

The room was clean, and I did my duties. It was now time for breakfast. The last serving of breakfast fluctuates everyday and all depends on how many people attend breakfast. This morning, one of our neighbors said they were closing the door to the dining hall. This turned out to be bogus because, after hurrying to the dining hall, we had plenty of time before the door was closed. Breakfast was more of the same; hot cereal (today it was oatmeal) and potatoes. I treated myself this morning with the high-protein granola in the oatmeal. This is a very good accompaniment to the oatmeal, and I am finally closing in on finishing one of the bags of granola. There wasn’t my PB&J on the lunch menu today, and it appears Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays are all lunchmeat days. The cook did offer to fill an empty jar with peanut butter for me, but I still have to jars of peanut butter I have yet to open. I won’t have any problem getting peanut butter for lunch even of days like today when it is not served. I still had a PB&J sandwich left over from Saturday’s lunch. My friend gives me his on PB&J days, and he gets my meat. This does work out very well, and there is no way I will starve here.

After breakfast, it was back to the room where I would get my boots on since they were not allowed in the dining hall. The floor in the dining hall scuffs easily, and we can only wear soft-soled shoes in there. I was “booted and suited” for my workday and workweek. Mondays start the cycle all over again. My CamelBak was full, and I was ready to go to work. The work call arrived at the usual time of 8:30 a.m., and we boarded the bus after the C/O checked us out with roll call. We were on the bus and received our assignment for the day. We were headed for a nearby lake (Diamond Valley Lake) to do more weed whacking. Apparently, the lake is leaking in a few different areas, and the Parks Department wants a better visual on the leaks. Our task was to cut down the vegetation in the leak area.

The road to the lake was not very long (only 45 minutes), and an interesting event occurred on the ride. This was that no one smoked in the bus. I guess the supply of tobacco is scarce because, for the first time since I arrived, the bus remained smoke free for the entire ride. I certainly enjoyed this, and I would be naïve to believe this would last. I did overhear a few crew members talk about obtaining tobacco this evening. I hope they don’t because I would rather have a smoke-free bus ride as opposed to a smoke-infested ride. I’m no sure what is going to happen, so I just enjoyed this morning. Also, there is a radio on the bus, and in order to keep all the crew members satisfied, the radio stations are alternated every day. Today was 70’s and 80’s rock day, and tomorrow will be hip-hop day. I enjoyed the 70’s and 80’s rock day, myself, but half of the crew enjoys hi-hop day. This method is very fair, and I respect the decisions. I had two things going for me this morning; no smoking on the bus and good music on the radio. I looked out the window as we drove and put my mind at ease. Another week was under way, and I am slowly progressing to my release date in February of next year. More importantly, I am progressing towards the visit with my family next month.

We arrived at the site where we would weed whack the vegetation. We were armed with two bladed weed whackers, two chainsaws, two stringed weed whackers, and several pitchforks. My task was to man the pitchfork. I don’t believe I have ever held, or let alone used, a pitchfork before today. I didn’t even know what the purpose of a pitchfork was until today. I have seen “Green Acres” with Eddie Albert holding one and always thought it had something to do with hay. Today, the pitchfork was used to clean the cut vegetation from the leak area. The vegetation was thick, and the pitchfork came in handy. The terrain was very steep as well, but with 14 guys working together, the vegetation was cut in no time. My friend manned the bladed wee whacker and did a remarkable job. This is a heavy piece of equipment, and he was slinging it all around. I followed behind him with the pitchfork and cleared a path. Once again, I got filthy from the cut vegetation, and it wouldn’t be a day on the grade without getting dirty. We cut everything by lunchtime and had lunch at this site. I got out my PB&J sandwich and the leftover cinnamon roll along with an apple. Lunch is one hour, and we had plenty of time to throw the football around. We couldn’t have a game because we were going to another site after lunch to cut more vegetation.

Lunch was over, and we entered the bus so we could get to our next destination. Fifteen minutes later, we were at another part of the lake and cutting. This area was nowhere near as thick as the previous area. Instead of the pitchfork, I got to use one of the stringed weed whackers. It seems I don’t get along with this piece of equipment because the string never cooperates. I used it for two minutes, and the automatic string feeder got jammed. I was watching the two crew mates who used the same weed whackers earlier, and they didn’t have any problems. Now I used it, and two minutes later, it was jammed. It has got to be me! Anyhow, I found the jam, but this time, everything was cut, and w were finished. We still had an hour before we could head back to camp, so the captain when to an open dirt area and had everyone relax. This is the MO for fire season. The key is to finish the projects by lunchtime or very shortly thereafter and then relax just in case a fire call occurs. I was wondering if the new captain would adhere to the policy, and everyone on the crew was happy when he did.

My crew members got out the football, and the drafted me to play with them. I couldn’t turn them down this time and decided to take on one of the guys. We played a game of 4-on-4 touch football. The last time I played touch football was with my brother-in-law, niece, and nephew five years ago around Christmastime in New Jersey. I somehow threw out my back during this game, and I was fat on my back for Christmas. I did have this in the back of my mind as we started to play. Thankfully, I did not throw out my back, nor did I injure myself. Actually, I did fairly well for the second oldest player. In fact, my team won the game, and my teammates voted me MVP. I think this was a bit too much because I did have several catches and caught a touchdown pass, but I wasn’t the MPV (Most Valuable Player). I think my crew members were surprised by how well I did. I was also surprised! I keep to myself, and I am quest, and I believe my crew members view me as a “nerd”, so when I didn’t play like a nerd, they were surprised. I did have fun, and it was a good to bond with crew members. By the way, my friend did not participate because the last he did he was sore for three days! It was a good day on the grade, and it was time to head back to camp.

We arrived back in camp, and we were checked back in by the C/O. At this point, the late-afternoon routine occurred as I picked up my clean clothes, showered, dressed, dropped off my dirty clothes, and went to dinner. We only had a few minutes to relax before dinner, and my head cold seemed to be the same as this morning. I really is all in my voice, and I sound horrible. I sound like I am going through puberty with my voice changing.

It was now dinnertime, and I went with my friend/roommate. The main menu item was Salisbury steak, and the bean portion was less than usual. Other than this, dinner was uneventful, and it was back to my room where I would write until the mail call was announced. Prior to mail call, there is a pill call where the C/O’s give out medication for all sorts of ailments. I took advantage of this getting sore-throat lozenges and cold medicine. There are both over-the-counter medications, and I believe the lozenges were Cepacol, and I don’t know what the cold medicine was. I took one lozenge and the cold pills. Hopefully, these will alleviate my head cold, and I won’t need anymore. It is good to know that I can receive cold medications without any hassles. It was easy to obtain, and once again, the differences between here and Jamestown continue.

I received two letters from two dear friends, and after receiving these, I returned to my room. I wrote and talked with out company. The visitors continue, and it really doesn’t matter what my roommate or me are doing. The visitors enter our room no what. Tonight, my friend/roommate was tired, but we kept getting visitors. Finally, the visitors subsided, and my friend was able to get to sleep. I finished up with my writing and went to sleep myself hoping for a less up-and-down evening.

My INCREDIBLE Friends

Let me start with the requisite night’s sleep. The pattern is that my friend gets up and then me. This happened twice again last night. I guess our systems are in synchrony because we spend so much time together! (This maybe a joke but probably correct) I was able to sleep for 3 hour stretches so the night’s sleep was a success.

After my shower I went to the television room which is located on the other side of the camp. The camp itself is not very big, probably only 1/3 of a mile in circumference. I stayed in the area watching the early news on a Los Angeles station. I have to say the broadcasts out of New York and Los Angeles for the local news are so much more professional than any other areas. Over the past 7 months I have viewed the Sacramento local news which looks like Podunk, Iowa broadcast (no offense to Podunk!)

After breakfast, it was back to my room where I would watch for my visitors to arrive. I have a very good view of the visiting area from my window and at a little past 8:30 am, I watched the cars enter the visitors parking lot. I saw my friend’s car turn in and then I moved outside. I waited about 5 minutes for my name to be called and then went to the office and headed toward the visiting area. I arrived and saw my INCREDIBLE friends standing near a picnic table. I have been her three weekends and my friend has now visited me each of these weekends. How did I get so fortunate to get these wonderful friends? I was so happy to see them and greeted each with a big hug. My heart was so warmed when I saw them. They are truly remarkable people. I know I have a tendency to go on and on describing my friends but mere words do not do them justice. These are special people in my life and I am not overstating my love for them. I have looked forward to receiving visits for such a long time and now I am receiving at least one per weekend, thanks to these great friends.

My friends not only came to see me, they came to feed me, too. They came bearing real substantive food. They had brought fish, not just any fish, but swordfish and shark. I have not had a piece of real fish like this in almost a year. There are grills in the visiting area and my friends brought charcoal for the grill and it was my duty to cook the fish on the grill. I welcomed this because I haven’t done any real cooking in almost a year. I was a little nervous because fish can be a little tricky cooking it on a grill. My friends even came with marinade and seasonings which I used to marinate the fish.

My friends arrived a little early and we had plenty of time to cook the fish. We passed the time snacking on sunflower seeds and peanuts. They even brought my favorite soda which was Hansen’s diet root beer and diet black cherry. The time seemed to fly by and it was time to put the corn on the cob on the grill. The fish came out wonderfully! We had the fish, corn, and a delicious salad my friend made. Everything was truly great as was the company. This was the best meal I have had in almost a year thanks to my amazing friends! They brought so much we had leftovers which we gave away to another inmate and his family. I guess the fish was good because they enjoyed it as well.

The visit was perfect but I have to admit when I saw another inmate’s young children run toward him as he walked into the visiting area, my thoughts turned to my son and daughter. I can’t wait for them to run toward me when I come into the visiting area next month. Other than that the visit was extraordinary. I had a smile on my face the entire time. It was time to clean up and it was time for them to go. Once again each of us embraced and the warm feeling I had inside was rekindled. I walked them out and they got into their car to head home. I gave them a wave and they were off.

I continue to be blown away by all the blessings in my life. Thank you to my INCREDIBLE friends!

Saturday in Camp

My first night on the old mattress wasn’t so bad. The positive side was the sheets didn’t falloff and I did not feel like I was sleeping on a vinyl shower curtain. The negative side was I could still feel the spring in my back. Another mattress would be ideal and if my friend can find one that would be much better. If not, I still have to remember this is prison and there are no comforts of home.

I made my weekly telephone call to my family and I was able to speak with my wife, daughter, and son. I spoke with my daughter for the longest time I have in the past almost 11 months. When I called, my daughter was giving my wife a hard time because she was trying on new clothes and she wasn’t in the mood to do so. Since she was giving my wife grief, she immediately put my daughter on the phone so I could speak with her. She is amazing because when I asked her if she was giving her mother a hard time, she responded, “Yes, I am being a brat.” I have to love her honesty and she is really a great kid. By the time I was finished talking with her, she was laughing and was in a much better mood. God, I miss her and my family so much! I know this situation is only temporary and I will be able to see them next month, but I am ready to be a part of their lives once again. I miss being a Father to my children. It has been 11 months and I miss them so much. I miss being a husband to my wife. I realized the time has gone by so fast and the remaining time will also go by fast, but I do miss them so much. I want to hug, kiss, and be there for them. The conversation was great with my daughter and son, but it is not a substitute for being with them in person. Both of them are growing up so fast and I need to get back with them. Time will pass and I will be with them. In the meantime, I look forward to their visit next month and hopefully I can schedule a family visit for the time they are out here.

I spoke with my wife for 30 minutes which is very expensive. I was not able to go through the Bail Bonds Company because no one was in the office when I called. I don’t understand why the California Prison System doesn’t allow calling cards. These collect calls are 99 cents a minute which is ridiculous. Long distance rates are now down to 2 and 3 cents per minute so someone is cleaning up on these calls. Unfortunately, the only relief I have to these costs is to go through the Bail Bond company, but they are not always in their office when I call my wife. I have to limit the calls to one per week because the cost is exorbitant. I enjoy speaking to my family for the 30 minutes but felt guilty due to the cost. I have tried to find an alternative, but apparently there isn’t any so I must limit the calls. A good example of this rip-off of these collect calls is my friend who lives in the same town as the fire camp, yet he still has to place collect calls at the cost of 50 cents per minute. A call to his girlfriend who lives 10 miles away is $7.50 for 15 minutes. If that’s not a rip-off, I don’t know what is. It’s bad enough I have caused my family a financial hardship due to my crime. Now I am compounding matters with these additional costs.

My wife is still receiving the runaround regarding my 401K. She has not heard anything and it has now been over 3 months since she started the process. We discussed further tactics and hopefully these will work. I still believe she will still receive the money because legally it is hers – not my employers. I know I wronged my employer with my crimes, but rules are rules and the 401K money rightfully belongs to my wife.

The telephone call ended and I did miss my family even more. I am in a good place now but no matter how hard I try to look at it, I miss them immensely. I will continue moving forward, but I am hoping (probably against hope) the Federal Judge takes over the California Prison system come June 19th and has to release non-violent, first time offenders early. I sure hope I am in this batch because I am ready to re-join my family. This is probably wishful thinking and I am probably just feeling badly for myself as another Saturday passes. This blog is about truth in my life and the truth is I want my family now. I realized there is nothing I can do about this but writing about it does help me tremendously. I will get over this malaise and my life will move on. I do need to be truthful all the time because in the past I hid from the truth and it lead me to this place. I will not repeat the sins of my past.

My third Saturday in camp came to a close. I didn’t have any visitors today but I am expecting some tomorrow. I have to thank God for my dear friends because each weekend I have received a visit. With my family in NJ, my friends are incredible for coming to visit me. Without these, my weekends wouldn’t be nearly as satisfying. Yes, I had some bad moments today, but this is to be expected. I am feeling better and know I have so many blessings in my life. These are truly bountiful and I am grateful for each and every one of them.

Staying in the Camp Whacking Weeds

Due to the bottle of lemonade I had last night at 8:00 pm, I woke up several times last night. I also had a glass of kool aid at dinner. I do believe there is something in that which does not agree with my system. My liquids come in the form of water and sugar-free lemonade. Now I do get the occasional bottle of Gatorade when we go on fire calls and also with the addition of the camelback, water consumption is much more convenient.

I forgot to mention that yesterday my friend “put me in the dirt” (tackling) as we were walking to our job assignment. My friend got approval from the Captain because she knew he was only fooling around. He did indeed put me in the dirt, but it did not hurt since he took the brunt of the tackle as we both went down to the dirt. The strange part about this was my crew members came to my defense and gave my friend a hard time. One crew member went as far as putting my friend in the dirt. All of this was in good fun, but I could tell my crew members were sticking up for me which was nice of them. Even the Captain said to me if I were to “accidentally” push my friend as we were going up the hillside he would probably roll forever. I couldn’t do this even in good fun. He does keep me in check and I certainly did not mind going down to the dirt. All of yesterday, the Swamper (lead crew member) kept coming into our room and giving my friend a hard time for picking on me. We do have a good time and I am surrounded by a good group of guys.

We met our new Captain today who is new to the crew but has substituted a few times. He has been with the fire service for a number of years, but this is his first time leading an inmate crew. If first impressions means anything, he appears to be a good guy. He gave us a little introductory speech and he shouldn’t have any problems with our crew. The real test will come when we go out on a fire call and I sure hope he shares the previous Captain’s philosophy of “safety first”. He doesn’t appear to be reckless so everything should be fine.

After the speech, we received our assignment. Yes, it was the 5th different assignment for the 5th day this week. Instead of driving to a destination, we were already here. The assignment was to cut and weed whack most of the brush on the hill in the camp. This is the same hill I ran on earlier in the morning. Each one of us was armed with a weed whacker. Since we didn’t have to drive anywhere our actual work time was increased. The hill is fairly large and steep and there is enough brush to keep us busy for weeks. There will always be something to whack on the hill. We weed whacked the vegetation and I went all the way up to the top and started from there. I never had much luck with a weed whacker. Even the ones I have personally owned always seemed to jam. Today I was using a gas powered one with industrial strength string and it jammed constantly. I am starting to believe it is me, but as I look around I noticed a few other inmates who have the same issues so it may not be all my fault. This does get frustrating because I would cut for a few minutes, then it would jam. I would fix it and the process started all over again.

I thought to myself that these odd jobs that I have been performing are a lot like a summer job I had in college. Actually, I had this summer job for 3 summers and it was at a local chemical storage facility. My crew members back then were also college students on summer break. We were laborers much like now and some of the jobs we performed did not make sense just like now. Also, some of my crew members back then used to hide out during the day to avoid doing any work just like today. I was not a ball of fire, but I did what I could. My friend is on the other spectrum as he is a workaholic. He was manning a super-sized weed whacker and couldn’t be stopped. I took my time and with the equipment I had, I did my share. The summer job I had was over 20 years ago and here I am back in the same situation. My life has become one of a day laborer which is not where I envisioned myself to be at the age of 41. I made a huge mistake and now I am paying for that mistake.

My friend went on a mission to get us new – actually used – mattresses because these oversized crib mattresses are not working out for us. True to form my friend came back with 2 old style mattresses which are the same type I slept on at Jamestown. The difference here is the bunks have springs on them instead of being a flat metal sheet. The springs makes the mattresses much more comfortable and now at least my sheets will stay on the bed. The other mattresses were an odd shape and each morning I would wakeup with the sheets half off the mattresses. Also, it felt like sleeping on a vinyl shower curtain as I would slip and slide all night. This is all gone and although these new mattresses are a bit thin, they are much better than the previous ones. My friend is working on getting 2 more which would be perfect.

Dinner was over and it was back to the room where I would attempt to write. Even with my friend playing pinochle, I still had visitors. They stayed and we talked for awhile. Finally, I got some alone time and did some writing. I had a feeling fire camp would be like this and I would have less time to write which is good. I enjoy writing, but now I am getting used to talking more with the guys. I am adaptable and will continue to adapt as this journey progresses. My friend returned and I noticed other crew members retiring very early. This is hard work for everyone and the nights are much shorter due to exhaustion. At least I am now contributing something to society in a positive manner. This is not limited to just me. There are 119 other inmates at this camp and each of them is serving the community in a positive manner.

Captain's Last Day

I guess I am going to start with my night’s sleep again. I did adhere to my water restrictions and actually slept through the night for the first since arriving here. I woke up at my usual time and went outside to exercise. Interestingly enough my neighbors across the hall who are in their mid-twenties woke up at the same time I did. They want to commit themselves to a weight-lifting routine everyday during the week. It is funny watching them wake up all groggy and go about their motions. This morning both of them got up, dressed, and went over to the weight area. Five minutes later I noticed them walking back to the dorm. I was outside doing my burpee/pushup routine as they walked by. I called out to them and jokingly said, “ Now that was fast, you guys are done?” As it turns out, their workout partners were a no-show so instead of working out on their own, they headed back to bed. To me this was odd because getting up is more than half the battle. If I got up, got dressed and made my way over to the exercise area, I am going to exercise. Their goal was to work out each day this week and as it turns out, they have only worked out 2 days this week. On Tuesday, they completely slept through the alarm. I heard it go off and I noticed someone turn it off but no one got up, they remained in bed. Since this happened, they asked me to be their back alarm because I seem to always be awake at this time. I certainly don’t mind and according to my friend they will never sleep in again with me as the back up alarm. Today was strange to see them return to their rooms to go back to sleep. Ah, the younger generation, (gee, I sound like an old man!) I may never understand.

After breakfast the work call arrived and I went to the bus boarding area. Our crew loaded on for the Captain’s last day. She is moving on to command a station near her home. She has been a Captain at this camp for the past 3 years and was certainly a good one. In my short time here I could tell she knew what she was doing and was very secure. She is moving on for all the right reasons and today was our last day with her as she is normally off on Friday. We boarded the bus and we were off to our fourth different assignment of the week. We arrived in a nearby mountain town of Idyllwild which is a rustic place on the way to Palm Springs. Even though it is very close to Palm Springs it might as well be a world away. Palm springs is a desert and Idyllwild is in the mountains. PS is hot and dry while Idyllwild is cool and moist. There are many trees and it is situated at 5000 feet above sea level.

Our assignment was unclear as we arrived. Another crew was there as well. We stopped for an hour while the Captains came up with a game plan. Thankfully, we were allowed off the bus and I enjoyed the peaceful mountain air along with the beautiful trees. While we were stopped two of the longest standing crew members gave the Captain a going away present of a bucket of ice water over her head! This is a rite of passage the good Captains receive from their crewmembers. She took the dumping of the ice water just like a trooper and true to her personality. She laughed and probably felt honored because from what I have been told this does not happen to many Captains. The Captain dried herself off and we went back on the to our next destruction. We arrived at a nearby residential area where we had to move cut brush from a hillside to the street so the brush could be picked up and discarded. At first we had a chain of crew members as we passed the brush from the hillside to the street. Somehow the chain broke down and we had to hike up and down the hillside individually carrying the brush. Yes, the outdoor projects continue and thankfully there wasn’t too much brush to lug up and down the hillside.

We finished the task by early afternoon and it was off to “hide” for the next 2 hours. The Captain drove to a local fire station. She pulled in, got out of the bus, and pulled out a fire hose. With the fire hose she sprayed the bus through the windows and then the back door. She was getting us back for the ice bucket earlier in the day. She drenched the two crew members who got her earlier and a few other crew members. I only received a ricochet spray as my seat on the bus protected me from the water blast. The Captain had this well planned out. As it turns out, she conspired with the Captain of the local fire station the day before planning the water hose attack. Everyone had a good laugh especially the Captain. It was a good last day for the Captain and it illustrated her sold personality.

The day was over and we arrived back at the fire camp. As we departed the bus, the Captain gave each of us a very warm and firm handshake. I wished her the best in her new position and just like that her 3 years of being Crew 2’s Captain was now over. Sure, I only experienced 2 weeks of those 3 years, but I was glad to meet her.

It was back to the room after dinner so I could write. Since my friend moved in the visitors have not stopped. It seems like we are the “popular” kids in college and everyone wants to visit us. I am sure this is all due to my friend who is the life of the party. Tonight we had constant visitors all through the evening. Normally when I start writing, I don’t stop until I have finished. However, I did not want to be rude nor did I want to come across as aloof so I stopped writing to talk. I got into a discussion of prison reform with another inmate who had some very good opinions. Somehow the June 4th deadline imposed by the federal Judge came and went without a whisper. This was the big deadline imposed last December. According to the convict hotline, this has been postponed until June 19th. All I know is that I have a little less than 9 months remaining on my sentence and then I will be released. At the time of my release I intend to join my family. I do understand I cannot leave the state of California during my parole period of 13 months due to my restitution obligations. I will continue living one day at a time and this will develop into a plan for that future period.

Lawn Mower Plan

The night’s sleep was not as good as it has been over the past few days. I did follow my water restriction, but it didn’t work very well last night. It wasn’t as bad as it was when I first arrived here, so that is a positive sign. I did have my small debate this morning, and once again, I got my skinny butt out of bed. Today was a running day, and once again, I went longer than my goal. While I was running, I got stopped by the C/O on duty. The rules are if you are running around the makeshift track in the morning, you (me) have to let the on-duty C/O know. I had yet to do this and hadn’t had any problems. In fact, several C/O’s had made comments like “running man” and “marathon man” while I was running. This morning the C/O on duty did stop me and let know I must check-in with him before running. I apologized for my mistake and went on my way.

The inconsistencies of prison life continue even here. There are eight C/O’s, one sergeant, and one lieutenant who oversee the camp. Unfortunately, this means there are 10 different approaches. I have seen the inconsistencies in my short two weeks here, and it does not bother me. I will always do what I am told and follow the rules. It was my fault for not informing the C/O I was running this morning, and it will not happen again. The last thing I want is problems. I want to do the next 9 months as a model prisoner/camper. I have already gotten a reputation with the C/O’s as a “programmer” (a prisoner who follows a good set routine), and this is certainly a positive. I am sure I will make some mistakes along the way, but I will do my best to keep these at a minimum. Yes, I made a mistake this morning, but it was very correctible. After I was stopped, I picked up my run in no time. In my mind, I was only going to run for 60 minutes, but half way through the run, I was feeling very good as is usually the case. I completed 90 minutes of running with fairly extensive hill work. This is a great workout, and I am enjoying my routine.

The run had ended, and my morning was just like the two previous days. I changed, showered, and went to breakfast. Breakfast was more of the same with the hot cereal and potatoes for me. My friend and I are no longer in a hurry to arrive at the dining hall at 7:15 a.m. There is a line at this time, and the dining hall remains open until 7:40 a.m. We have started to arrive at 7:30 a.m., which gives us plenty of time. The only issue becomes seating because there were not enough seats, and we have to time our arrival accordingly. We do sit at the cooks’ table , and the days that they are off do present a challenge. Today was one of those days, and I had to sit by myself only for a minute while one of them was finishing up at the table. All was well when he finished, and I joined my friend at the regular table.

With breakfast over, I returned to my room and did the rest of my morning ritual. I am happy to report my feet are now bandage-free for the first time since my arrival. I no longer require band-aids on my feet, and my feet are getting used to the boots. After putting on my boots, I went outside to fill up my CamelBak. The weather during the month of June in this part of southern California is actually quite autumn-like. The mornings are cool and overcast just like this morning. The higher levels of humidity do not lend themselves to wildfire weather, which in my opinion is a good thing. This is not to say we won’t get assigned to a fire in another part of the state (California is a very large state); however, this just illustrates the initial potential for wildfires in this area. Many of my crew members want to go out on a fire very badly. This is how they make their money; being paid $1 an hour for every hour away from the camp. In my short time at the camp, I have already earned $54. Of course, I will only receive $24.60 of this with the remaining amount going to the restitution fund. The prison system deducts 55% of any pay I receive for as long as I am incarcerated. Needless to say, I probably won’t be able to fulfill my restitution obligation in the next nine months because there aren’t enough hours in that time. This really doesn’t matter. What matters is I will do the rest of my time here at the fire camp, which is where I wanted to get when I started this journey back in July. Anyhow, the weather here is ideal with cool mornings and cool evenings. I have never lived anywhere with better weather, so the positives keep coming.

The work call arrived, and we boarded the bus. Normally, we are aware of our duties for the day; however, today no one knew what was going to happen. We drove on the bus for five minutes, and the captain pulled over to the side of the road. She got out and opened up the back door and called “Gentlemen we are going on a nature hike.” All we were required to bring were our ball caps and CamelBaks. We lined up, and I was all the way in the back behind my friend. I like this position because it provides a low profile for me, and I can ensure my friend makes the hike. As we started, my friend told me I could pass him up and go as fast as I wanted. I didn’t quite understand, so I stayed behind him. Over half way through the hike, I noticed the captain way ahead of us, and I decided to pass my friend up. I continued to pass most of the crew members as well. I caught up with the captain, and she said to me, “I will buy you a six-pack (soda) of your choice if you can pass the two remaining crew members in front of me.” I said, “Okay” and started to break into a jog. Unfortunately, these two had too much of a head start for me to catch them as they were already at the top of the path. I certainly did my best and got to the top, but those two were already there. Five minutes later, the captain arrived, and five minutes after that, the rest of the crew started filing in. I could see the two crew members I didn’t catch, breathing heavily, so if there was a little longer path, I may have caught them. I did have fun and got in another workout for the day. The hike was a little over two miles up and two miles down. The incline was at a good grade. I do enjoy this part of my duties, and without the 45- to 50-pound backpack on, I did so much better. As my roommate said, I was in my element. He also assured me on these “nature hikes” I can “show off” (his words, not mine) when hiking. I may have shown off, but I didn’t mean to, which is why I laid back at the beginning of the hike. This was a great little workout, and I wouldn’t mind doing it at least 3 times a week. My crew members may have a different opinion, but we need to be in good shape when we respond to fires.

It took about 30 minutes to go up and only 16 minutes to go down. I did jog down and followed the two experienced hikers in the crew. We got down all together, and the next crew member arrived eight minutes later. Much to my surprise, the next crew member was my friend. He beat the rest of the crew members by another 10 minutes. I was very impressed with him, but I fear he may have overdone it because his legs were sore the rest of the day. Once everyone arrived back down, we loaded up on the bus and went to our job assignment. It was at a local executive airport where the fire service planes go in and out. There is also a fire station on the premises for the Helitack crew. Our job was to mow, edge, pull weeds, and basically clean up the exterior of the grounds. Everyone had a responsibility, and I volunteered to man the lawn mower. In essence, I was one of the three lawn mower men. Unfortunately, I selected the only non-self-propelled lawnmower. My friend had a very nice one (a Honda lawnmower), but mine was beaten up. There was a great deal of lawn to cut, and it took three of us three hours to cut it. I got my third workout in by pushing the lawnmower, but it really wasn’t so bad. Right before lunch, we had a fire call, and just like the day before, we got all dressed, and it was cancelled while en route.

We returned back to the airport and had lunch. Lunchtime is an hour and is a very relaxed atmosphere. This is passed down from the captain, and it is very nice. Lunch was over, and by the way, my appetite was super because of all the exercise I did today, and I was very hungry. I ate two PB&J sandwiches and two cereal bars. I was still hungry but had no food left to eat. I returned to the lawn mower, and we finished up. This job is one big outdoor yard project. Each day this week has been a different outdoor project. Monday we picked up brush, Tuesday we moved ash, and today was the lawn. I am turning into a regular yard project guy!

The lawn was all mowed, and our day was over. The captain did something very nice as the three of us returned the lawnmowers. We put the lawnmowers away, and she gave each of us a bottle of Gatorade. She only gave the three of us the Gatorade, which I found very nice. She didn’t have to do this, yet she did, and she is a very good person. Yes, she is leaving tomorrow, and there will be a new captain next week. It would have been good to have her for the nine months, but everything happens for a reason. I don’t know what to expect from the new captain, but it will work fine.

We returned to the camp at 4:15 p.m., and our official check-in time is 4:30 p.m. We have arrived early before, and it has not been a problem; however, inconsistencies as they were today were a problem. The C/O did not allow us to check in until 4:30 p.m. I could tell the captain was put off by this, but she let the C/O do his thing. The time finally arrived for check-in, but the C/O checked in all of the other crews before finally checking in our crew. I realize this is petty and so did the captain. Power trips do abound, and they are not limited to the inmates. Oh well, we got checked in, and it was on to my return-from-work routine. This routine includes picking up my clean clothes, getting changed, taking a shower, getting dressed, writing, and going to dinner.

Dinner was not very filling tonight for the first time since my arrival. The main entrée was beef stew, which I passed on. The issue of beans was very small, and I was not full. I had to make myself a soup when I got back to my room. Since hot pots are not allowed, I utilized the very hot water faucet. This worked fine, and the soup was ready in no time. I ate the soup and wrote a little. I had a telephone call scheduled, and I called my mother. I set aside a 30-minute block, and we used all the time. It is very good to speak with my mother on a regular basis. The phone call was great as we covered a variety of subjects. The phone call was over, and I returned to my room where I wrote until a few minutes past my bedtime. The days continue to click on by, and it has now been two weeks since my arrival here. The two weeks have gone fast, and now the week was over the hump with only two more days to the weekend. Everything is going well.

Lake Skinner

I am starting to get back into a rhythm. I had a feeling this would happen, but I had to be patient. I have certainly learned to be patient over these almost-11 months, and it was just a matter of time that I got into a rhythm. Having the rhythm makes the days go by faster, and today, after a decent night’s sleep (I got up twice during the evening), I started my day just like on Monday. There is an interesting phenomenon that I have experienced while getting up in the morning to exercise. Contrary to popular opinion, I don’t spring out of bed and start exercising. I still debate with myself on whether or not I should stay in bed. This doesn’t last very long because I know if I stay in bed I will only sleep another 45 minutes or, instead of sleeping, I would just lie there and feel guilty. Even though I technically “know better”, I still go through the debate every morning. After getting out of bed, I try to talk myself into only doing an hour workout; however, half way into the workout, I start to feel very good, and the next thing I know I have worked out for 1-1/2 hours. This is exactly what happened this morning. I did the pushup/burpee routine Tuesday, Thursday, and Saturday, doing 450 burpees equaling 1400 pushups. I have found a flat part on the grass where I have now worn away the grass while doing the routine. I guess I have left my “mark” on this area.

In spite of my little debate every morning, I do enjoy starting my day this way. The early morning is very cool, and I have to start out wearing a long sleeved shirt. About one quarter of the way into the routine, I shed the long sleeved shirt for my tee shirt. This routine continues to provide a very good muscular-cardio workout. I do have the opportunity to now lift regular weights, but I am very happy with this routine. I may change up in the coming months and make my way over to the weight pile, but for the time being, I will continue with the burpee/pushup routine. My workout ended in the 90-minute timeframe, and it was time for my first shower of the day. Taking 2 showers are part of my daily routine. The shower was over, and it was on to breakfast. The rhythm of the day is essentially the same for breakfast every day. I had the hot cereal, and my friend received my eggs. In addition to the hot cereals were biscuits and potatoes. The biscuits are delicious, and I really don’t want to know how they are made because I probably wouldn’t eat them. The potatoes are usually very tasty and are made differently everyday. Today, they were diced and baked. The potatoes were, in fact, delicious.

Breakfast was over, and I returned to my room to put on my boots. Yesterday, I wore my boots with gel inserts, and my toes felt like they were smashed. I took out the inserts and immediately felt a sense of relief in my toes. Last week, I developed blisters on my ankles, but now these blisters have turned to calluses. Even my feet are adapting to the situation. Once my boots were on, I went outside to fill up my CamelBak with ice and water. From there, my friend and I walked outside for the work call. Once the work call was announced, we headed for the fire bus. We boarded after checking out with the C/O and receiving our assignment. We were headed for Lake Skinner, which is a lake 10 miles from where my crimes were committed. I have heard a great deal about this lake from previous coworkers, and ironically, this past weekend was the annual Wine and Balloon Festival that was once sponsored by a previous employer. Now, here I was going there to clean up burnt ashes so they wouldn’t seep into the water supply.

The drive to the lake took about an hour, and once we arrived, the captain and two park rangers gave us more specifics. There was a burn pile which was about ¼ of a mile to a dumpster. This was another dirty job because it was like loading charcoal. The ash was black and got all over my clothing, gloves, and face. My friend looked like he was auditioning for a part in a movie to play Al Jolson! The project took until lunchtime, and hauling the 50-pound sacks the ¼ mile to the dumpsters was not exactly easy. My friend, myself, and another crew member seemed to do the bulk of the hauling. This was a very good workout. This job is not short of physical labor. I am in good shape, but the lifting of the bags was, indeed, challenging for me. I did my fair share and kept up with the bigger boys.

All of the ash was hauled to the dumpsters. I almost forgot to mention we had to wear bee netting over our faces. This was not for bees but for the thousands of mosquitoes. I have never worn a bee hat and looked very funny. My friend has mentioned several times we need a video camera because some of the stuff we do is very funny and only pictures will do it justice. Let me try and paint a picture; I wear orange pants, orange long-sleeved shirt, gray gloves, blue ball cap, and a white bee net over my face. Here I am lugging a 50-pound bag of ash over my shoulder with the ash getting all over me. In these past two days, I have become one with the outdoors, and I suspect all my days for the next nine months will be like this. This continues to be a good lesson for me, and I need recovery/GA in my life so I never have to go through this again. In 41 years, I have never been an outdoor person, but over the past two weeks, I am quickly learning.

Part one of our assignment was over, and we went to a nearby picnic area for lunch. Everyone on the crew participated in the “spread”. A “spread” is a prison stew complete with several soups, rice, beans, meat, and other food items. I gave two soups, a bag of beans, and a bag of tortillas. I did pass on eating the spread, and my friend had my serving. It really is quite impressive as to how this is made. All of the ingredients are dumped into a large plastic bag, and then boiling water is added. This mix then sits for the next two hours until lunchtime. Each person takes their share and eats it by itself, on bread, or on a tortilla. I stuck with PB&J sandwiches.

After lunch, part of the crew participated in a touch football game. I stayed on the sidelines with the over-40 crowd watching the game. My friend surprised me and did participate. He did take himself out after a few plays because his hamstrings were tightening up. He likes to have a good time and is quite the comedian. He is the life of the party. When he came out, he laid on one of the picnic tables, but his mouth was in working order. He didn’t stop talking the whole time. Even the captain was laughing at him. He is a good guy, and I am blessed even in a place like this to have him in my life.

The football famed ended just as a fire call came in. We hurried onto the bus and were off to the fire call. We must be ready once the bus reaches the fire, so we are required to put on our fire protective clothing while en route. The pants go over my regular pants, but I have to change out shirts. This takes no time, and I was ready within a minute. We were on the road for five minutes, and then the bus slowed down. We were cancelled. There wouldn’t be a fire fight today. We could have been cancelled due to a false alarm or they had enough crews. I don’t know which one, but we were now going to the second part of our assignment. This was quite simple. The two crew members who operate the chainsaws had to cut out tamarisk (brush which draws the water table) and the two park rangers would follow them spraying plant killer. Our job was to make pile of the cut tamarisk. This took no time, and our day was done.

The captain took the scenic route back to the camp, and I saw parts of an area that I have never seen in my five years of living very close to this area. I could not believe the amount of undeveloped land around. Yes, some of the land is very steep and rocky, but the residential boom hasn’t ever come close to the area. I lived not far from this area, and it seemed like I was a million miles away.

We arrived back into camp a few minutes before the official 4:30 p.m. check-in. We were allowed to go into the camp, and this gave us a head start on the showers from the other crews. First, I had to pick up my clean clothes, and then it was off to my second shower of the day. Once again, I was in need of a shower due the filth surrounding my body. My body has never been this consistently dirty on a daily basis, and (this may sound disgusting-sorry) my nose blew only black particles. I do feel like a coal miner. The shower was a welcome relief, and once again, I had 30 minutes to relax before dinner. This 30 minutes disappeared in the blink of an eye, and my friend and I were off to dinner.

Tonight was the camp’s version of Mexican food. This was better than anything we had been served at Jamestown. The main entrée was chicken fajitas, which I passed on, but the Mexican rice and beans along with the homemade salsa were delicious. The food is quite good here, and I do get my fair share of rice and beans. Just before dinner, I ran into one of the cooks (not the two I know fairly well but another one), and he asked if I ate the spaghetti sauce last night. I told him no because I wasn’t sure if there was meat in it or not. He then said that there wasn’t any meat in it, and he had some leftovers if I wanted any. This was so nice because, please remember, I have not asked for anything special, yet the cooks have gone out of their way to ensure I am getting enough food. I was so impressed with them and genuinely touched.

Dinner was over, and I was full. I went back to my room where I spent the entire evening writing. I have much less time to write during the week than I have ever had along this almost 11-month journey. This is a good thing because I am out and about all day doing something. As I was writing last night, an interesting event started to happen. We (my friend mostly and I ) had a steady stream of visitors in our room. My friend was tired from the day (especially the touch football game) and had lain down very early underneath the covers. There must have been six crew members who stopped by and asked me if my friend was alright. I answered them that he was fine and just tired. I do know these visitors are due to my friend, and I certainly don’t mind the diversion. The night passed by very quickly, and the rhythm of the day continued as I went to sleep at my regular bedtime hour.

On the Grade

The liquid restriction, especially the no drinking during dinner, continues to benefit my sleep patterns. I believe I can narrow my up-and-down sleeping to the drinks served during dinner. The one drink served during dinner is either sugar-free Kool-Aid or sugar-free iced tea. The iced tea is a no-no for me due to the caffeine content, and the other night I couldn’t stay in my bed for more than one hour before getting up. The Kool-Aid appeared to have the same effect. I have cut out my drinks during dinner, and after last night, I only woke up once during the evening. This is a step in the right direction and has put me at ease. I was getting a bit concerned; however, with these modifications, it appears my sleepless nights are coming to an end.

In keeping with my new-found routine, I was up at 5:00 a.m. and outside before 5:30 a.m. exercising/running. Gone are the days of counting miles and quick paces. The very short, makeshift track is not conducive to counting miles or speed. Additionally, I have added hill running after every fifth lap. I am somewhat enthralled with the hill running because this is new to me. My very first distance race of any type was an off-road half marathon (13.1 miles) not far from where this camp is located. I didn’t enjoy that race because it was very dirty, rocky, and hilly. Things have changed in those five years, and now I am looking forward to running on the hill this morning. The hill is not advanced, but it is not easy by any stretch of the imagination. This adds a new dimension to my running, and although I may not be able to put in the same amount of miles I had been doing at Jamestown, I am enjoying my runs more than ever. This morning was a perfect example of me enjoying my running as I set out to do 90 minutes and ended up doing 10 minutes extra. There are more things I can do during my runs as opposed to going around a track time after time. Essentially, I am still running in circles, but these circles have a higher degree of difficulty.

It appears I am inspiring (not sure if this is the correct word, but I will use it anyhow) my friend/roommate. I asked my friend if he wanted to wake up early this morning so he could get his workout in. Unbelievably, after some convincing on my part, he said yes and actually got up and went outside at 5:40 a.m. so he could hike the hill. I was very impressed, and my friend told me it was me who got him out there. He went on to say that if I weren’t here he wouldn’t be exercising. I have to say I have not put any pressure on my friend to work out. He really is doing all of this on his own. I guess he does feel guilty when he sees me exercising and does want to keep in shape for any hikes which will occur when we are called out to a fire. My friend continues to impress me as he is a few years older (6 years to be exact) than me and has not exactly been a consistent exerciser in the course of his life. He is certainly giving it his best, and I am very proud of him. My friend did put in a good hour on the hill, and he was very happy to get the workout in the morning.

The timing of my workout worked very well as I do have it down to a science. There is more than enough time during the early morning for me to get in a good workout, take a shower, go to breakfast, and be ready for work. Also, today being a Monday meant it was inspection day, so the room had to be neat and clean. My friend and I take turns sweeping and mopping the floor daily so keeping the room neat and tidy is not a chore. The only difference in an inspection day than any other day is everything must be put away. This means the tops of the lockers and the desk cannot have anything on them. My friend did a great job getting the room ready for the inspection. I did put away the items on my desk in my locker. The beds were made as they are every day, and we were ready for inspection. Inspections occur during the day when I am out at work, so I would only know if we had something wrong. The inspections are good because it keeps everyone on their toes and keeps everyone’s rooms neat and tidy.

We squared away the room, and it was off to breakfast. I almost forgot what it was like eating after working out. Over the past few months while I was in Jamestown, I had no choice to eat before working out. Now I am doing what I have been used to in the past. I much prefer eating after exercising for a multitude of reasons. The morning’s breakfast was more of the same for me with two bowls of the hot cereal which are actually served in bowls and not on the tray. This is a very nice touch, and the hot cereal stays very hot much longer. My friend has started to decline some of my food as he thinks he is eating too much. The good part about this is I can give away my food to other inmates, which makes them happy. We made our lunches during breakfast. I made the PB&J sandwich and so did my friend. He gave me his sandwich, and I gave him my two extra slices of bread for his ham and cheese which is served on the grade later on. I couldn’t have asked for a better person to share this journey with than my friend, and now we are sharing a room. I shouldn’t be amazed, but I can’t help it as this journey continues to work out for the best in more ways that I could have ever imagined.

With breakfast over and my boots on, it was time to go outside and wait for the start of my work day. Part of my morning routine is to fill up my camelback with ice and water. These camelbacks (water-carrying backpacks) are a great idea, and I was very happy to have one. I can now drink water on demand, and the camelback holds one gallon of water. My camelback was full, and it was time for work. My first official day on the crew was a training day which was followed by the fire call for two days up in Tulare County. After this, we had two days off, so today was my first official day on the grade. The grade is the project we are assigned to do when not fighting fires. Presumably, a vast majority of my time will be spent on the grade as fires do happen but not as frequently as every day (at least I hope not!)

We take roll as we enter the bus. I was directly behind my friend and sat next to him on the bus. All of us loaded on the bus, and we were off to our grade projects. These grade projects can last for months or can be one-day events. The grade project today was something the crew has been working on for awhile. We departed camp at 8:45 a.m. and didn’t arrive at our destination until 10:15 a.m. Yes, it took 1-1/2 hours because it was a remote location on one of the hillsides in southern California overlooking a very large valley. We were at the top of the hillside next to a fire watch tower. The tower is manned by a volunteer whose sole responsibility is to look for wildfires. This was not our duty for today. Our duty was to clear the area alongside of the fire watch tower of the dead brush which has been cut over the past few months. I understood this would be a very labor-intensive job. In fact, I envisioned it to be all hard manual labor. Well so far after being on the grade, I was right! We piled dead brush on a canvas tarp and carried it up the hillside all day. The dead brush will soon be put through a chipper which will shred it. By shredding, the fire potential is eradicated. Our job, other than to put out fires, is to prevent fires. Today, we were preventing fires.

The good part about being so far away from the camp and being on a time schedule is the hard work doesn’t last long in terms of time. We worked from 10:30 a.m. to 12:00 p.m. when we stopped for lunch. Everyone (including me) brought their lunches, and I had my PB&J sandwich along with an apple. Lunch lasts for an hour, and today we had a crew meeting. Everyone on the crew is relatively new and I am no longer the new guy as someone started today. This means I already have seniority. Anyhow, the crew meeting was an air-out session, and from what I could see, everyone gets along very well, which is a good thing. Thankfully, the racial issues from Jamestown don’t carry forward to here because we have to get along. Also, there is no telling when someone on the crew may save someone else’s life during a fire. It certainly appears to be a more functional atmosphere.

After lunch, we worked for 1-3/4 hours. All totaled we worked for 3 hours and 15 minutes, which was fine by me. In addition to it being hard manual labor, it is very dirty work. I was filthy, and my friend even remarked that we needed a camera to really catch the essence of filth on ourselves. I had dirt everywhere, and I can imagine what a coal miner goes through as I was breathing in dust all day long. The very nice volunteer in the fire watch tower did have a camera, and he took several photographs of the crew and even one of my friend and me. I’m not sure if I will ever have an opportunity to see the photograph, but now I know there are photographs out there documenting my filth!

The day on the grade came to a close, and the captain told everyone to load onto the bus. Once again, the captain showed me the meaning of being a captain. She is so nice, and she leads by example. She was not afraid to get dirty and was out there just like everyone else picking up the dried-up brush. I can certainly see why the crew respects her tremendously. Unfortunately, she is, in fact, leaving, and this will be her last week with us as her transfer is now official. I only had two weeks with her, but I’m not sure if there is another captain quite like her. Of course, life and the crew will go on, but there will be some adjustments to be made. According to my friend, a captain can make or break a crew, and this captain certainly made the crew. My friend also said she was the best captain he has ever had, and he has had a few. I wish the captain nothing but the best in her new position, and she did make me feel comfortable in my short time here.

We loaded onto the bus and made the long drive back to the camp. It appears tobacco is getting harder to obtain because the smoking on the bus was infrequent. Of course, I like this but will keep it to myself. I have gotten used to my backward riding seat and the loud music. I actually like my seat because I have plenty of room, and the backward motion does not bother me at all. We arrived back in camp at 4:30 p.m., and my first day on the grade had ended. The C/O takes roll as we get off the bus and effectively checks us back into camp. At this point, I pick up my clean laundry before going back to my room. It is so nice not to have to hassle with washing my clothes. The clothes I trained in this morning were all washed and ready. After I picked up the clean clothes, I went to my room and prepared for a shower. There was no doubt I was in need of a shower and couldn’t wait to take one. I got undressed and made my way into the showers. Yes, there are group showers, and there are enough showerheads for 8 people; however, only half are operational while the other half are broken. There was a minor wait for a shower head to be available, and I waited patiently. The showerhead was available, and I showered cleaning off all of the dirt.

I felt very good after the shower and had 30 minutes before dinner. I just relaxed on my bed for this period; however, it was very hot in my room as the air conditioning (yes, we have air conditioning, yet another huge advantage over Jamestown) is broken. My friend has a fan and it helped a little. Dinnertime came, and we went off to the spaghetti and meatball dinner. I had asked the cook earlier in the day if the spaghetti was meatless, and he was hoping to get back to me with an answer. He did not get back to me so when I went through the food service line I asked for spaghetti without any sauce. The inmate serving this stated that this was the first time he had ever seen that. Yes, I took spaghetti without anything on it, and this was one of the better dinners I have had in a very long time. My staple for years has been pasta/spaghetti, and I was very happy to eat it tonight. Along with the spaghetti were beans. I don’t know what I had, but they were very tasty. There were also green beans and garlic bread. I enjoy garlic but usually not on bread; however, there wasn’t too much garlic, and the bread was hot. I did enjoy the garlic bread tonight. Yes, this was a good meal, and when it was over, I returned to my room along with my friend.

We both had received mail, but we had to wait for the mail call. Since the room was so warm, we waited outside for the mail, but this was delayed due to the return of one of the crews from a fire call. This crew was being fed dinner after everyone else which caused the delay for the mail call. Finally, after over an hour of delay, the mail was passed out. I had received three letters, and the mail delivery is certainly the best it has been since my journey started last July. The latest postmark was only five days ago with one which was sent from Florida postmarked three days ago. I am impressed with the mail delivery, and now I have to stay on top of my writing since the mail is so much quicker. I didn’t do any writing tonight due to the late hour. After I read the three letters, it was well after 9:00 p.m., and my friend was already asleep. We both had a long day with it starting with the exercise session. I did go to sleep before my normal bedtime, and it appears my normal bedtime may be pushed up since the days are more labor intense than they have ever been in my life. With that being said, my day did go by fast and was also a very good day.

Friends and a GA Meeting

It appears putting myself on a liquid restrictive diet last night helped me to not get up so many times during the night. I only got up twice instead of the usual 7 times. I forced myself to stay in bed until 6:15 am. I couldn’t see staying in bed any longer because my very dear friends from GA were coming to see me. It was going to be a very special day since they are planning a GA meeting. I was very excited in so many ways. I hadn’t seen a few of my friends in almost a year and I hadn’t been to a meeting in almost the same time period.

I leisurely took a shower and then shaved for the second day in a row so I could look presentable for my friends. Back in Jamestown I could shower, shave, and dress within 10 minutes. This morning it took me 45 minutes because there wasn’t any rush. I dressed in my regular “oranges” – for the visit (these were the ones that were ironed by my friend). About 5 minutes before the official visiting time (8:30 am), I saw my friend’s car pull into the parking lot. Two minutes later, the car pulled out because according to the rules no one is allowed in the parking lot until visiting hours begin.

I was thrilled to see his car reappear for the second time as the visiting hours had officially begun. I saw my friends walk into the visiting area and this was my cue to go outside and wait for my name to be called. Sure enough 3 minutes later, my name was called and I made my way over to the office. I got there very quickly and even the CO commented as to how fast that was. With all the paperwork signed, I saw 5 of my dear friends setting up on one of the picnic tables. I walked over and was greeted with 5 exceptional hugs. Wow, I had such a warm feeling inside me because here were 5 dear friends who were strangers over 2 years ago. Now each one of them is an integral part of my life.

After the warm embraces, I was able to give one of my friends some more mail to put with my items that he already has stored for me. Also, he was kind enough to bring my real running watch which I quickly put on my wrist while giving away the very thin watch I have been wearing over the past 10 ½ months. Now I will be able to tell what time it is when it is dark because this watch has a light.

All of the administrative matters were put to rest and it was time for the GA meeting. It was a celebration of my 2 year birthday with the official date of February 28th. These are phenomenal people and I am so blessed that they are a huge part pf my life. It felt so good to have a GA meeting which I have missed so much over the past year. The program has saved my life and continues to do so. There aren’t any substitutes for a live meeting and I could feel my recovery strengthening as the meeting moved on. I realized that no matter where I am, I want GA to be an integral part of my life. I need these meeting no matter how good or bad I feel. It is an incredible program and today was another example of its power.

We all had a chance to share and we also entered into some very good discussions. Everything in my life happens for a reason and my current situation is no different. There has been pain on this journey, but the healing has made the pain diminish. This comes in many different sources and today was a huge dose. I was surrounded by 5 genuine, caring, loving people who understand the essence of recovery. I was so happy to be part of this fantastic group. The meeting was excellent and now we are going to make it a monthly event. I thought this was a great idea and now I can attend without any fuss. The visiting area is a perfect setting for a meeting because there is shade and the picnic table sits 8 people comfortably. Apparently there are people in the fellowship who have joined after my departure who want to visit me. This is truly remarkable because it is once again the power of the GA Program.

I had a big smile for the 2 ½ hours that my friends stayed. This smile lasted all day and I still have a warm feeling inside and I can feel all the love that has been bestowed on me. What started out over 2 years ago as the worst time in my life has now blossomed into the best time of my life. I have so many special people in my life now than I ever had and 5 of them were with me today. Life can be mystifying, baffling, and at times tough; however, on days like today my life is truly a great blessing. Unfortunately, the visit and the GA Meeting had come to an end. My friends do have their own families and lives to lead. I was so honored they would take the time out of their busy lives and spend a morning with me. Their departure was very much like their arrival as I received 5 warm hugs. It was a wonderful morning with hugs, laughs, smiles, and stories of recovery. This was my best Sunday morning since arriving at prison some 10 ½ months ago. The odyssey of getting here has been a long road; however, seeing my dear friends and being able to partake of a GA meeting was just incredible. I am right where I need to be and I would like to thank my friends for an unbelievable day! I now have friends in my life who are truly friends for life and they taught me the true meaning of friendship.

My friends walked across the road to their car and I walked back to camp. I was able to bring back a small yellow combo book we used for the GA meeting. I had to go through the office to check back into the camp and unlike last week where the CO just waved me back in, this time I was patted down. Although I would love to bring back all the food my friends had left, I could not because it is against the rules. I will not do anything to jeopardize my standing here at camp. I worked hard to get here and I fully intend to parole on the 28th of February which is really not that far away. One day at a time and now with the advent of the monthly GA meeting, those days continue to be filled with blessings.

As I was walked out of the visiting area, there was an inmate sitting near the exit who is the camp clerk. He was very instrumental in getting me here and asked if my visitors were family. I replied, “No, they are friends.” He nodded his head and was very impressed to see friends visit an inmate. I thought to myself, “These friends ARE part of my family.” They are my GA family which spans across the county and across the world. GA is a special program and it is fundamental in my recovery – without it I was a lost soul. Now I continue to flourish. I have so much going for me and my friends emphasized the need for my recovery. Without recovery, I fail, but with it, I grow and experience beauty. Today was a beautiful day in so many ways. I was so happy to experience the beauty today. My life does get better through recovery and the blessings are endless.

There's Busy Then Not So Busy

Today – being a Friday – meant we were going to have a relief Captain. By the way, it seems all the personnel in CDF are called Captains. There are rare exceptions such as the Battalion Chiefs, but for the most part everyone is a Captain, which is quite impressive. The word from a few of my crew members was that the relief Captain was on vacation and we would be laid-in for the second straight day. I still had to go through the machinations of going to work because we are required to line up and check in. We lined up and sure enough we were lain in for the 2nd straight day. This is a very interesting job because earlier this week, we were very busy and now we are not. I have learned to accept whatever happens and to go with the flow. So for the second time in as many days I had the entire day off. I did keep myself busy and watched my friend sharpen out tools and he was kind enough to sharpen mine as well. He seems to enjoy this and has told me, “A sharp tool is your friend.”

I stood outside for awhile enjoying the very cool weather. The sky was overcast with the temperature in the lower 70’s. It appears southern California’s “June Gloom” had arrived right on time. I have realized over these past 10 ½ months that it is not the journey, but it is what I do within the journey that counts. Time goes by no matter what and I was ensconced in my madness as I let the years slip away. I haven’t had time to breathe in a very long time and this was all my fault. Up until coming here a week and a half ago, I still didn’t know how to breathe. Once I stepped off the van and into camp I could feel my body slow down. This is a key for me to slow down and enjoy the journey. I have always been a person who has been focused on getting from Point A to Point B but I would miss everything in between. I am doing my best to focus on the most important parts of that trip which are my family, friends, and myself. I still have a great deal of baggage to carry around when I get out – most notably a very large restitution amount. I will have to get 6 to 7 jobs to pay this all back. However as long as I stay in the moment and enjoy all the blessings that have been bestowed on me everything will work out.

After lunch, I met up with the camp’s barber to get a very much needed haircut. It has been almost 3 months and my hair is very long and shaggy. The inmate who is a barber knew how to cut hair with scissors. This is the first time since arriving in prison that I had my hair cut with scissors. He did an excellent job and took off a great deal of hair. This is another one of those little things in life I have taken for granted. My Dad was a barber and for 28 years, I never paid for a haircut. When I moved out West, I had a hard time finding a barber and at first I had no idea how to talk to the barbers because I never had to. Ultimately I found someone and no I fully appreciate the value of a good haircut. The haircut cost me 3 soups, 1 tuna fish, and 1 chocolate pudding as a tip. This $1.70 haircut was better than a few $20.00 ones that I have received.

The haircut was over and part of the deal had me sweeping the floor. This was no problem and he did cut off a lot of hair as it filled up a dustpan. My friend was back in the room and now that he is my roommate, we get more visitors. No one would visit me except my friend but now that he is there – the social butterfly - we get more visitors. This does help to pass the time and I don’t mind listening to stories of prison days past. It seems the majority of inmates even here are repeat offenders and they always seem to have stories. Some of these I will never repeat while others are quit amusing.

My friend and I ate with the cook who does make very interesting conversation. I believe he is a contractor in the outside world but he sure does know how to cook. He is a large man in size and stature. I am very happy he likes me because I would not want to get on his bad side. He was looking me over at dinner and I asked him what he was doing. He replied, “I want to se if you put on any weight because it is my mission to fatten you up.” The problem with me is that if I did put on 15 pounds nobody would notice. I’m not sure how my psychotic brain would handle that but I have certainly eaten more in the last 10 days than I have in a very long time.

Dinner was over and it was back to my room briefly. I had to back out to pick up the mail which happens at 7:00 pm and a list is prepared and posted on the central bulletin board notifying the inmates who received mail for that day. My name was on the list and I picked up a letter from my mother. It was postmarked May 29th and I received it 3 days later – a minor miracle! It does appear my mail will arrive on a consistent basis and gone are the two week delivery times. The differences between here and Jamestown continue. It is a wonder both places are part of the same prison system because the differences are astonishing. The letter from my mom was great and receiving mail does make my day!