Saturday in Camp

My first night on the old mattress wasn’t so bad. The positive side was the sheets didn’t falloff and I did not feel like I was sleeping on a vinyl shower curtain. The negative side was I could still feel the spring in my back. Another mattress would be ideal and if my friend can find one that would be much better. If not, I still have to remember this is prison and there are no comforts of home.

I made my weekly telephone call to my family and I was able to speak with my wife, daughter, and son. I spoke with my daughter for the longest time I have in the past almost 11 months. When I called, my daughter was giving my wife a hard time because she was trying on new clothes and she wasn’t in the mood to do so. Since she was giving my wife grief, she immediately put my daughter on the phone so I could speak with her. She is amazing because when I asked her if she was giving her mother a hard time, she responded, “Yes, I am being a brat.” I have to love her honesty and she is really a great kid. By the time I was finished talking with her, she was laughing and was in a much better mood. God, I miss her and my family so much! I know this situation is only temporary and I will be able to see them next month, but I am ready to be a part of their lives once again. I miss being a Father to my children. It has been 11 months and I miss them so much. I miss being a husband to my wife. I realized the time has gone by so fast and the remaining time will also go by fast, but I do miss them so much. I want to hug, kiss, and be there for them. The conversation was great with my daughter and son, but it is not a substitute for being with them in person. Both of them are growing up so fast and I need to get back with them. Time will pass and I will be with them. In the meantime, I look forward to their visit next month and hopefully I can schedule a family visit for the time they are out here.

I spoke with my wife for 30 minutes which is very expensive. I was not able to go through the Bail Bonds Company because no one was in the office when I called. I don’t understand why the California Prison System doesn’t allow calling cards. These collect calls are 99 cents a minute which is ridiculous. Long distance rates are now down to 2 and 3 cents per minute so someone is cleaning up on these calls. Unfortunately, the only relief I have to these costs is to go through the Bail Bond company, but they are not always in their office when I call my wife. I have to limit the calls to one per week because the cost is exorbitant. I enjoy speaking to my family for the 30 minutes but felt guilty due to the cost. I have tried to find an alternative, but apparently there isn’t any so I must limit the calls. A good example of this rip-off of these collect calls is my friend who lives in the same town as the fire camp, yet he still has to place collect calls at the cost of 50 cents per minute. A call to his girlfriend who lives 10 miles away is $7.50 for 15 minutes. If that’s not a rip-off, I don’t know what is. It’s bad enough I have caused my family a financial hardship due to my crime. Now I am compounding matters with these additional costs.

My wife is still receiving the runaround regarding my 401K. She has not heard anything and it has now been over 3 months since she started the process. We discussed further tactics and hopefully these will work. I still believe she will still receive the money because legally it is hers – not my employers. I know I wronged my employer with my crimes, but rules are rules and the 401K money rightfully belongs to my wife.

The telephone call ended and I did miss my family even more. I am in a good place now but no matter how hard I try to look at it, I miss them immensely. I will continue moving forward, but I am hoping (probably against hope) the Federal Judge takes over the California Prison system come June 19th and has to release non-violent, first time offenders early. I sure hope I am in this batch because I am ready to re-join my family. This is probably wishful thinking and I am probably just feeling badly for myself as another Saturday passes. This blog is about truth in my life and the truth is I want my family now. I realized there is nothing I can do about this but writing about it does help me tremendously. I will get over this malaise and my life will move on. I do need to be truthful all the time because in the past I hid from the truth and it lead me to this place. I will not repeat the sins of my past.

My third Saturday in camp came to a close. I didn’t have any visitors today but I am expecting some tomorrow. I have to thank God for my dear friends because each weekend I have received a visit. With my family in NJ, my friends are incredible for coming to visit me. Without these, my weekends wouldn’t be nearly as satisfying. Yes, I had some bad moments today, but this is to be expected. I am feeling better and know I have so many blessings in my life. These are truly bountiful and I am grateful for each and every one of them.