What is the Truth?

I was still shaking my head wondering what happened with the old “Coach” and how I went from inquiring about my transfer to fire camp status to having a new task for the week while I went back to the dorm for the lunch period. After eating lunch my routine stayed was the same as I wrote for the rest of the afternoon. The mail call came and I received one piece of mail which was from my Mother. My mother was kind enough to include a few “A Day at a Time” reflections which is the daily reading published my Gamblers Anonymous. Before entering prison I would read these each day as I started my day which would put me in the proper frame of mind. Unfortunately, I am not allowed to have this book because it only comes in hard cover. I have been fortunate because my Mother and my sponsor have sent me copies of the daily reflections. Reading these even though the days don’t coincide gives me a sense of serenity and reinforces for my recovery. Each day I do my best and each day I get a little better as my sanity is restored. I have come along way in 2 years but I know there is no finish line. It is not like one day I will wake up and be cured as a compulsive gambler. The cure for me is to stay in recovery which means to NOT gamble and also to be a better person. In two years this method has worked very well and I love the results. My life has more meaning now then it has ever had and each day is a blessing in recovery. Yes, I am currently in a place where I am isolated from the rigors and stress of the real world, however; as long as I am focused in recovery my life inside and outside of prison will be positive.

In spite of the rainstorm I went out into the evening yard to make a telephone call. I initially called my Mother but there is still a block on the telephone. I also tried my Grandmother’s phone (who lives with my Mother) number but she too has a block on her telephone. Since I couldn’t get through to my Mother I called my wife. I wanted to find out how she did with assisting me with the transfer to fire camp. She did great as she not only wrote a letter (along with the assistance of my Mother) to the fire camp which she faxed yesterday; she made a few telephone calls on my behalf. She spoke with someone at the fire camp who was very helpful. As it turns out the fire camp didn’t have any paperwork on me which meant they had no idea I existed. This is not surprising as the old “Coach” obviously did not pass my information along or it is sitting on the Captain’s desk. My wife also called the Captain in charge of fire camp placements and he is out of the office until Thursday while he is visiting various fie camps. She will follow up on Thursday when he returns. I am so blessed to have such an extraordinary woman in my life and my wife is my champion. She is helping in everyway possible and even though I have not seen her in over 8 months I feel closer to her now more than ever. My love for her grows more and more every day. We had a great conversation and of course the 15 minutes flew by. We did have a chance to say good-bye and I love you as the phone call ended. As I got off the telephone there wasn’t another inmate waiting to get on which is always the case. So I called my friend over as he was trying to get on the telephone. He was able to place his telephone call and speak with his girlfriend. He needed the phone call as things haven’t been going so well on the home front. The telephone call did cheer him up.

This morning was a change of routine as I was to go across to the other yard with my fellow instructors to assist the old “Coach” with his PFT class. The old Coach was able to secure the proper signatures as we met him outside of his office. He took us across to the other side where it was like old times. First we met the instructors on this yard and if first impressions mean anything they seem like good guys. I was able to speak with one of the instructors who is also waiting to go to fire camp. As it turns out he is waiting to go to the same fire camp that I want to attend in Southern California. He finished all his training requirements back in September but had a medical issue which was subsequently cleared in January. This means he has been waiting 3 months for his transfer. I asked why is it taking so long and he told me the fire camp has a new Sergeant who discovered the fire camp’s racial make-up was out of balance. Apparently, inmates from my race are taking between 3 and 4 months for a transfer because the Sergeant is trying to rectify the racial in balance. I do know an inmate who was transferred to this fire camp last week who was of my race and had only been waiting one month.

Now, I don’t know what the truth really is since the old “Coach” gave me the same speech of racial balance that this Instructor was giving me. I am not sure if this information is coming from the same source (“Coach”) or for that matter what I should believe. If I have to wait between 3 and 4 months for a transfer to this fire camp I will select another fire camp. There are a few fire camps in the area of where I used to live in Southern California. The key for me is to get there as soon as possible so I can be with my family as soon as possible. This fire camp in Southern California would have worked out perfectly since it is the closest one to where my friend’s live, however; there are 3 others not that much further away. I need to understand where I stand and if I can’t get to this fire camp within a month I need to select a different fire camp. Hopefully, on Thursday my wife will have more information when she speaks with the Captain. I realize these events are out of my control but I need all the facts so I can come up with an alternative plan if need be. I am positive everything will workout for the best because it has so far to this point.