Compulsive Gambler in Recovery
It is better to build character than to be one.
Monday, July 28, 2008
Best of "Both" Worlds!!!
Late yesterday afternoon meant it was the return for me to Gamblers Anonymous. I have made a commitment to myself and to the Program to attend at least one full meeting per week and hopefully two. I see some very busy times on the horizon as yesterday I signed my son up for fall baseball and he also expressed interest in playing football and soccer. I think football is a bit premature but he is a very good soccer player.
I’m not sure if playing two sports would be too much of a time constraint for him and us as a family. Also the cost of these sports must be taken into consideration because it certainly isn’t cheap. Finally I have volunteered myself to be a manager in the fall baseball league at the request of my son and when I told my wife she asked if I were “crazy”. I may not know what I am getting myself into but I think it will be fun.
In the meantime I have a commitment to my recovery which includes going to meetings. I doubt I can no longer effectively attend four meetings per week because that maybe counterintuitive to recovery. The “combo” book (the Bible in GA) suggests attending at least one full meeting per week and this is what I am going to do. My one full meeting a week will be Sundays because for some reason this meeting seems to make the most logistic sense. It is at a time where there shouldn’t be any sports or other activities going on and I can be home in time for a nice family dinner while putting the children to bed.
After a three week absence (my goodness those three weeks fly by!) I returned to the GA meeting and what a great meeting. Thankfully the air conditioner has been fixed in our offices because it makes such a big difference. The meeting was well attended for a Sunday evening and there were some familiar faces and some new faces. The bottom line for me is this program works and continues to save my life. I never know what I am going to hear at a meeting and last night was no exception. There were powerful sharing and therapies. I am eternally grateful for this program and how it continues to enrich my life.
At the time I was headed to a meeting my wife was taking the children to church. My wife understands the importance of GA to me and I understand the importance of attending church for my wife. It probably could be better if we could attend church as a complete family but I am working on this character defect. Last night it worked out very well because we were all gone for about the same period of time. I think we all came back feeling better than when we departed especially my son who apparently took a nap during the church service. He did have a hard day riding his bicycle for the first time and he certainly came back rejuvenated.
I do and I this is not an understatement; I love the GA Program and all that is associated. I cannot recover from my compulsive gambling addiction on my own and I feel so bad for people who are suffering this same disease and don’t have access to Gamblers Anonymous. This is a great program which works very well for me the words of a dear friend still ring true three years later as he stated, “I better be attending GA meetings 10 years from now”. It isn’t 10 years from now but those 10 years will creep up one day a time and as long as I continue doing what I am doing which is participating in the GA Program everything will be great. It is great because yesterday I had the best of both worlds; my family and GA for the first time in a very long time. This is an incredible combination!!!
The evening came to an end but not before I had a game of catch with my son in the front of the house. My goodness he has grown up in these past two years and now we can stand about 15 yards a part and play catch with a football. My son loves his sports and now it appears he loves his bicycle because after playing catch for about 20 minutes he asked me if he could ride his bicycle up and down the block. I said, “Yes” and his little face lit up. He proceeded to go up and down the block until it became too dark to do anymore. We then went inside for a snack and recap of the glorious day.
I too was exhausted as I went to bed. I must have fallen asleep in a matter of seconds when my head hit the pillow. I have found that I am falling asleep much faster with my wife by my side than before. I had a difficult time sleeping over the past two years but not anymore with a wonderful person with me. Even this morning I wanted to sleep in and forget about the gym but I convinced myself to get out of bed. I did get out of bed to start my week and as I looked at my sleeping family I had a great big smile. I blew them all a kiss and departed for a full work week.
My workout was excellent and I couldn’t help but to think how blessed a person I am. These blessings are now with me and really over the past two years have never left me. We may have been physically separated but our emotional and spiritual connections have always been in tact. Even before all of this trouble started I had everything I ever needed right in front of me. Yes, it has taken a traumatic experience to realize how fortunate I am and I am eternally grateful for everything.
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