Superlative Sponsor

It was a rare occasion yesterday evening where I was home all alone. The house was eerily quiet as it always has a hum to it. Last night it was just me and I did miss our weekly “Suze Orman Show” followed by “Deal or No Deal” viewing. I didn’t turn the television on instead I had a great telephone conversation with my sponsor. My sponsor has moved out of the area and I haven’t seen him in almost two years but over these past two years we have kept in constant contact.

While I was in prison there was the weekly letter and now it is the weekly telephone conversation. We usually speak on Sunday evenings but the timing was right and we spoke yesterday evening. These are always great talks just like the letters I received when I was in prison. GA continues to enrich my life and having a sponsor is a critical component to my recovery. I realize many people in our fellowship don’t have sponsors and that may work for them but having a sponsor who went through a similar situation helps me tremendously. I do look forward to our conversations and yesterday it was great.

We seem to always cover a variety of topics and this was the case last night. I had a commentary on the GA Program sent to me and I shared this with my sponsor. This commentary can be found here; http://www.camh.net/egambling/issue17/ferentzy1.html if anyone is interested. The article is very interesting and does depict the GA Program very well. I don’t quite get why the author seemed to obsess over the fact that the critical theme in the GA Program is patience. This makes complete sense to me because the problems I caused were over a 20 year period and there is no way these problems would go away in a very short period of time. I have witnessed that my life continues to improve as I stay focused within GA and most of all I have found a program that saves my life everyday.

I do find the history of the GA Program very fascinating as it was started 50 years ago in Los Angeles, California now there are groups all over the world. The 12 Steps are very much like those found in the Alcoholics Anonymous organization. I don’t know much about AA other then having read their 12 Steps. I do like the “Spiritual Awakening” part of the 12 Steps in AA which GA does not have. I know for myself I continue to have a “Spiritual Awakening” each and everyday. I have said this before that I am not a very religious person but I do believe there is a “Higher Power” at work in my life. This is a “Spirit” which resides inside of me and everything else in this world. I know I am powerless over gambling and I can’t gamble since my life became unmanageable when I was gambling. Now that I have given up this to a “Higher Power” my life is wonderful each and everyday.

My sponsor gave me some insights on this commentary that I didn’t know and as always my sponsor filled me with knowledge. Apparently in the early days of GA the 12 Steps were copied verbatim from the AA Program but personalities got involved and these Steps were changed to reflect what they are today. Make no mistake GA is a Spiritual program and I respect everyone’s Higher Power as their own. Some people have Jesus Christ while others choose the room and I do believe whatever works best for the person works best for the person. The critical component is getting my own ego out of the equation because I don’t want to delude myself into believing I can do this on my own because I cannot.

The great conversation was over and I did a little reading before drifting off to sleep. I had such a vivid dream that an earthquake had happened that I woke up thinking there was an earthquake. Fortunately there wasn’t an earthquake and after reassuring myself I went back to sleep. I slept in much longer then usual in preparation of getting enough rest for my 22 mile run this morning. I could have stayed in bed longer which is very unusual for me but it was time to get up and get going. I got going to the gym and I don’t know how many people run 22 miles on a treadmill but I have found this works best for me. The cushioning on the treadmill helps to alleviate stress on my knees and I can adjust my intensity according.

I was feeling very good from the 5 to the 18 mile mark. As I reached the 19 mile mark I could feel my legs getting sore. This is different then muscle soreness as I can feel it in my bones but this is always the case for me. I continued on to the 22 mile mark where I accomplished what I set out to do. A marathon is 4.2 miles longer and I was certainly feeling at the 22 mile mark. I am sure I will gut out those last few miles but I was hoping I would feel better at this point. The key is I got the long run in and in 4 weeks I will embark on the 26.2 miles.

I have heard many stories where people get sick (throw-up) when running long distances. Fortunately I have not experienced this but today I was feeling some strange effects from my stomach. No, I didn’t get sick but when I finished those 22 miles I was done for the day. I didn’t exactly hydrate myself very well yesterday as I would do for a marathon so I am positive this was part of feeling a little queasy. Yes, I was a sweaty mess while I was running and most certainly when I was finished. The hot shower was a welcomed relief and it was a wonderful morning.