New Years Eve 2005

The last Saturday in 2005 started out so much different than the first Saturday in 2005. Gone are the days of getting up and checking the lines so I could put in my countless bets on whomever team was playing. Thank God these days are gone!! Today was a great day which started out much like all of the Saturdays have started out in the past 10 months with a Gamblers Anonymous Meeting. There were 13 people in attendance my first GA meeting ten months ago and today we had 24 people in attendance. Yes, the Program is growing which is both a blessing and a curse. It is a curse because so many people like myself suffer with the same disease; compulsive gambling. But yet it is a blessing because these people have decided to do something about this disease.

Today ended my Co-Secretary term for the Saturday Morning Meeting and I have been blessed to give some type of service to a wonderful Program. This Program has taught me it is not the end but the beginning of something very beautiful. I fought this disease for 22 years and yes, it has gotten the best of me to this point; however; I have found hope in dealing with my disease through the Gamblers Anonymous Program. I lived in denial for so long and it made me believe I was above many things which I know I am NOT. I am not above anything and my life has become one of purpose and fulfillment. My purpose is to help others with a gambling problem and continue to work the Program and Steps each and every day. Each day I am fulfilled with the wonderment of life. Life is worth living and living a life without gambling makes everything that much more special.

This afternoon I received a telephone call from a fellow member who has 37 years in the Program. He called to say "Happy New Year" and to tell me he was thinking about me, my family and my situation. I have met this person a handful of times and for them to take the time and call me just to say hello meant the world to me. This person also had a dreadful cold but wanted to reach and out and see how I was doing; I am thoroughly blown away with the people I have met in the Gamblers Anonymous Program. I thank God each and every day for giving me the wisdom to enter that room ten months ago.

There are so many fabulous people in this world and I am surrounded by so many of them. It amazes me how selfless people are and they really do care. To me this is a fundamental principle of the Program and in fact I will take it a step further and say this is a fundamental principle of life. I have incorporated this principle into my daily inventory. There are some people who relish in the misery of others and I thank God I am NOT surrounded by these types of people. Quite the contrary I am surrounded by caring, compassionate, intelligent and good people who want to help. I am truly blessed in so many ways.

The evening ended with our dear friends coming over to celebrate the New Year. As is always the case we all had a great time. Life to me is not about making gobs of money and putting people down it is about building and maintaining relationships. Without these relationships I am nothing. I am not a husband, father, son, son-in-law or friend but with these relationships I am all of these things and more. I have so much to offer this world and I intend to offer this goodness one day at a time.