Ten Months In

I waited for the mail call and received notification that my attorney had sent me a letter. “Legal Mail” is the only mail which remains unopened until the inmate is present. It can only be picked up during the hours of 7:00 pm and 8:00 pm daily. The CO opens the letter in the presence of the inmate, inspects it for contraband but is forbidden from reading it due to the attorney-client confidentiality. I picked up the letter later in the evening and it was nothing “earth shattering”. I was hoping to receive a response to my questions but all I received was a letter for my records clarifying another letter my attorney sent out a few weeks ago. I realized hindsight is always 20/20 and I have to live with the decisions I have made but I would be hard pressed to refer my attorney to anyone knowing what I know now. At this point I have to continue with him and I have to accept this fact. Hopefully, he will respond to my questions that have still not been resolved from court.

Dinner came relatively early and I went to the dining hall for the Mexican food dinner. I keep losing my dinner partners and now I am sitting with different members form my dorm. I used to eat breakfast and dinner with a dorm mate but he departed for fire camp. After my fellow Instructor departed, I ate with another dorm mate but he was paroled yesterday. Everyone keeps leaving while I remain here. This last dinner partner was not exactly my favorite as he was a bit hard of hearing and constantly said “huh.” I don’t mind repeating myself but he also said this after he spoke so it was very confusing for me. Also, as he departed (please keep in mind he was going home) yesterday he said, “I will be back.” This was his third time and he is only 31 years old. I tried to speak with him and offer positive words of encouragement, but he would have nothing of it. The prison system in California certainly seems like a revolving door and I am afraid he might be right back. I would have thought being released would be a happy day but he wasn’t very happy. There seems to be something wrong with this equation if someone is reluctant to enter the free world.

I went to sleep at my usual time and had a very strange dream. I was with my son and we were in my younger sister’s neighborhood. It wasn’t where my sister lives now; it was a new neighborhood with mansions. My son and I were in a house across the street. I could see my sister as I looked out the window form the neighboring house. My son and I were alone and were walking through the house and there was a huge picture window. We stopped and noticed what appeared to be a very elderly lady walking down the sidewalk pushing a cart. This older lady was bundled up from head to toe but it was summertime. When I noticed the lady, I felt suspicious but before I could say anything this “older lady” shed her clothes only to reveal a very dark skinned man and an ouzi. He started shooting at us but the picture window was made of bulletproof glass. As soon as he started shooting, I grabbed my son and tucked him underneath me. We realized the bullets weren’t penetrating the glass or the house and then we got up. We walked around the house and my son was not frantic at all, he was very calm. I looked at another window where I could see my younger sister in her house giving me the thumbs up sign to show everything’s all right. My son and I continued to walk around the house and I discovered it was impenetrable from the outside. The house belonged to a senator and I felt safe in spite of the would be terrorist shooting outside. This is where I woke up and it is funny how I can easily recall this dream while others I cannot. I am not going to play amateur psychologist and if anyone is into interpreting dreams – by all means feel free.

Today marks 10 months into my sentence. The time is moving quickly and technically I have 14 months to go. When I arrive to fire camp my sentence will be reduced further. IF I move next week, (yes, it would be a MIRACLE) I would have 9 ½ months to go.

Today’s breakfast was the scrambled egg bean burrito with my favorite hot cereal with cinnamon. I gladly gave away the eggs but no one wanted the beans and I cannot eat these in the morning because it wreaks havoc on my body. I was able to obtain two more servings of the cereal. I was having a hard time eating the rice cereal this morning because the kitchen workers were very sloppy in their distribution of the foods. The scrambled eggs spilled over into the rice cereal and my aversion to eggs was hindering me from eating the rice cereal. I spent most of the time picking out the scrambled eggs and eating around them. Yes, I received a total of 3 servings of cereal but ended up eating only one as I couldn’t get over the fact that the scrambled eggs infiltrated my cereal. Yes, I know I have a problem!

The process of picking up my books went fairly smoothly and I only had to wait 30 minutes. My mother sent me THE 5TH HORSEMAN by James Patterson and PROMISE ME by Harlan Coben. I have detailed in the past how much I enjoy the Patterson novels and am looking forward to reading the book. Harlan Coben is one of my mother’s favorite authors so I am equally looking forward to reading this book as well. I don’t recall ever reading a Coben book before which is surprising because my mother raves about his novels. I was thankful to have received the books and now I can fill in my downtime with some more reading.