Tuesday Already?

The incident on Friday night continued to wreak havoc yesterday afternoon. The yard opened much later than it normally does which meant I stayed in the dorm. The mail call arrived and I received three pieces of mail – one of which was the “Life Line” Bulletin which is distributed by GA. I have been fortunate enough to have been put on the mailing list by my dear GA friends. It keeps me in touch with the fellowship and I look forward to reading the letters that are filled with experience, strength, and hope. These bring so much inspiration and it reaffirms my commitment to GA. I look forward to the day when I can go to a live meeting.

When I was able to go out to evening yard, I talked with my friend about the possible transfer to fire camp. I told my friend I had the relief CO call over to the fire camp assignments office to see where I stood in terms of a transfer. The CO told me I was number 30 on the list! He went on to tell me he called last week for another inmate who was number 15 and when he called again this week, the same inmate was number 20. He didn’t understand this nor did I. The list is so shrouded in mystery because no one ever sees it. I have no idea why I am even on the list since I have supposedly been earmarked for a fire camp through the old coach and the Captain. There appears to be some ambiguity going on involving this list as evidenced by the six people who have already been transferred to fire camp but had finished their training requirements after me. My friend devised an alternative plan in case we don’t get transferred this week. If the need arises, I will outline the plan at a later date.

All week, my Bunkie who has been waiting 15 weeks since he finished his training kept saying, “Tuesday is the day we both transfer to Fire Camp.” I’m trying to remain as positive as possible but hearing I am 30 on the list and possibly looking at another month did not bode well for me. However, I was certain my Bunkie would be transferred if I did not. I am doing my best to stay positive and utilize “The Secret” but there are circumstances beyond my control and others who make the decision to be transferred. I’ve done everything I could to warrant a transfer and I am disappointed and frustrated but it is not the end of the world and my life will go on. As the Serenity Prayer states – “Accept the things I cannot change…” and I do accept it and know there is a reason why I am still here although right now this reason eludes me. One day at a time~