Definitely In Training

Yesterday morning, I started writing at 8:00 a.m., and when I stopped writing, it was 12:20 p.m. I only stopped once during this time for a few minutes. I composed two letters and two entries for the blog during this time, which covered 24 written pages. I was flabbergasted when I looked at my watch and 4 hours and 20 minutes had gone by. There are days when I struggle to write anything, but there are days like yesterday when the words just seem to flow very easily. In the “Power of Intention,” the author, Dr. Wayne Dyer, writes about his writing and how he cannot explain where the words come from. He attributes his writing to the energy of the universe. I can understand exactly what the author is saying because, often times as I am writing, I didn’t know what the next word is until I write that word. Also, through my writing, comes therapy, and I do feel better about myself each time I write.

As I wrote yesterday, visiting was canceled for the day; however, two of my very dear friends called ahead and were told by someone in the office that I was here and visiting would be held. Unfortunately for my dear friends, after making the long drive to the camp, they were informed that all visits had been canceled. I have incredible friends, and each day I am touched by them in so many ways. I feel so badly that they drove all this way only to be turned away. This could have been avoided if they were told when they called that visiting had been canceled. This is anything but a perfect system and mistakes happen. I have been at the mercy of this system for the past 13 months, and I accept all its shortcomings. Now, these shortcomings are affecting my dear friends, and I am disappointed. I know there is NOTHING I can do about these mishaps, and thankfully, my friends are very understanding people. They once again took time out of their busy schedules to visit me, but they were unable to see me because the C/O’s were short staffed. This is yet another glaring example of the many events outside of my control. It truly is so unfortunate this happened yesterday, but there is nothing anyone can do. I continue to be grateful for the incredible friendships I have forged in such a short period of time. These are great people, and I love them very much.

The rest of yesterday was a lazy day. I did not exercise and gave my body a day of rest. I started a new book, “Money and the Meaning of Life” by Jacob Needleman. This book was recommended by one of the members of the “table” who is very spiritual. This is a very interesting book because it poses some very interesting points. According to the author, prison is an essential ingredient in life from a spiritual point of view. I have only read a few chapters, but the book is nothing like I thought it would be. The message of “money is the root of all evil: is NOT found in this book. On the flip side, “money equals happiness” is also NOT found in this book. Thus far, the message is somewhere between these two extremes. The book is written on a very high level and does real like a college textbook. The points are fascinating, but the writing style is a bit dull. I am plodding my way through it, and it certainly has given many questions to ponder.

In the evening, I stayed outside talking to my friends at the “table.” The friend who works in the kitchen had a whirlwind 48 hours, sleeping a total of 8 of those hours as he assisted the kitchen with the many meals they prepared. On Saturday afternoon my crew and another crew responded to the fire, which resulted in no crews in the camp. Since my camp has an area of responsibility, this means two crews from another camp had to be brought in. These crews were brought in on Saturday afternoon, and the guys in these crews needed to be fed. This is a common practice during fire season as fire crews are all around this state. This has been a mild fire season thus far, thank God, but with over two months remaining, anything can happen. My friend who works with the kitchen is somewhat of a workaholic and was in his element this weekend. The lack of sleep was taking its toll on him, but it was good to catch up with him last night. During the conversations, there was more laughter than usual, which is always a positive. This was a good way to end the weekend.

The evening was over, and I was off to bed. I read one chapter before falling asleep. It seems the short staff of the C/O’s is taking its toll on the remaining C/O’s. Lately, it seems the shining of the flashlight during the early morning walkthroughs have become more pronounced. Last night, I awoke twice when I felt the beam of a flashlight hit my face. These C/O’s have been pulling their fair share of shifts, and most of them are sleep deprived, especially those working the overnight shift. I remember from the few times I would work this shift that I didn’t quite feel myself until three or four days later. I cannot imagine what it feels like to work two weeks of overnight shifts coupled with another shift during the day, yet somehow, they are doing it. Fire season has so many ramifications for so many people, and it is not limited to the inmates. Even though we inmates are only paid $1 an hour when we fight fires, I believe we have it easier than most. All of the decisions are made, and all we have to do is go with the flow. This is exactly what I have been doing, and it has worked very well.

Today being th4e back to work day, meant my exercise cycle started up once again. Monday is a running day, and I did run. Yes, I am now known as the guy who runs all the time by my fellow inmates and the C/O’s. I have been going at a slower-than-usual pace mostly due to the hill, but I still feel very good. Today was one of the better runs, and I am so grateful I can exercise early in the morning before work. This is part of keeping me sane, and sometimes, I have a tendency to go overboard with exercise, but the bottom line is it helps to clean my mind. I have been exercising for the better part of the last 17 years, and I do know I used exercising as a coping mechanism when I was doing the things I shouldn’t have done. I still use exercising as a coping mechanism, but now I am doing the things I should do, which makes a world of difference in a positive manner.

My exercise session was over, and it was on to the shower and then breakfast. Breakfast was uneventful, and now even the meals have their own routine as the breakfasts vary little from week to week. I did have the extra bowl of oatmeal this morning which does help my caloric intake. As breakfast was complete, it was time to get ready for work. My captain is still out on vacation and is due back tomorrow, so the possibility of having a lay-in existed. Work call was announced, and I made my way over to the bus Area. There wasn’t a captain to cover my crew today, so the lay-in (day off again!) did happen. I certainly didn’t mind the lay-in because this meant I could assist with the cleaning of the bathrooms again. This was very good training because Monday is the deep cleaning of the week.

Yes, I assisted with the cleaning of the bathrooms and, believe it or not, it was fun. I was told by the current bathroom porter that I am a good worker and that he was happy he referred me for the job. This was a nice thing to hear, and I thanked him. The cleaning of the bathrooms is not as gross as it may sound. I do wear protective gloves and have industrial-strength cleaning supplies. The bathrooms are fairly large, but the bulk of the cleaning occurs when scrubbing, but being able to use an industrial-strength hose when rinsing certainly helps matters. I realize cleaning the bathrooms (by the way, there are only two) is not exactly a glamorous position, but evidently, a few of my fellow inmates want this position as well. I have been the only one to volunteer my services, so I guess I have this going for me. I have been the only one to volunteer my services, so I guess I have this going for me. It seems everyone in camp believes I have the position already, but I know better. Tomorrow, I will present the job change form to my captain for his signature. Presumably, he will sign it. Then it goes to the C/O in charge of this position. A whole host of things can happen to prevent me from getting this position, but I am looking at the positives. If it is meant to be for me, then I will get the position, and if it is not, then oh well. Only time will answer this, and in the meantime, I am an inmate/firefighter and will do what I am told.
The three of us completely cleaned the bathrooms well before 11:00 a.m. Yes, the job will be three times longer when I do it by myself, but I do look forward to the opportunity. My routine will change, and this will be a positive change. The rest of the day was for me to do whatever I wanted. I was able to listen to the news on the radio, write, and read. Amazingly, the day did fly by very quickly. This could very well be my program for the next six months, and by that time, I will be a certified bathroom cleaner extraordinaire!