An Indication

Over the past two evenings, I placed telephone calls to people who I have not spoken to in over one year. In this past 13 months, I have exclusively telephoned my wife, mother, and younger sister. I have not spoken to anyone else up until two nights ago. I received a message from my mom to call one of my brother-in-laws. I also received this same message from a C/O which was relayed from my dear friends in GA who arrived for the non-meeting visit on Sunday. Incidentally, when the C/O gave me the message, he had said to me that my “AA” friends were here on Sunday. I didn’t muster up the courage to correct him and just said, “Thank you.” It was great speaking with my brother-in-law, and he wanted to talk to me about a paper he is working on for his graduate class. He needed to interview someone who has been in a marathon as he was connecting those who run in marathons to a subculture. The 15-minute allotment for the telephone call went by so fast, and I think he got through all of the questions he needed to ask. I didn’t have time to really talk with him, but the more I thought about it, I came out with a possibly better subculture, which was prison. This wouldn’t work for my brother-in-law because he had to keep his examples to sports. Anyhow, prison is complete with its own vernacular, rules, regulations, and other assorted items associated with cultures. I was very happy my brother-in-law thought of me, and the conversation did make me feel good.

Last night, I made another telephone call to a friend I used to work with and also knew from the gym. My wife was kind enough to telephone him last week, and he told me to call him when I could. This was another great conversation, and he filled me in on all comings and goings of my previous employer. The 15 minutes also flew by, and he had so much more to say. He told me that he is not a writer so if I could call him every few weeks or so. I remember right before my sentencing that the two of us went out to lunch, and he was wondering if we will see each other again. Now, I know we will see each other again. He works every weekend, so visiting me is very difficult, but he is a great friend, and we will stay in touch. He also gave my wife many compliments, and since he hasn’t met her, he is looking forward to meeting her someday. My wife is truly amazing, and I love her dearly. She continues to handle this situation with such grace and dignity. She has been my rock in a very unsettled climate, and my love for her grows each and every day.

Today, my crew finally received the lay-in we thought we would receive last week. There are only two crews remaining in camp, and there are only two fire captains remaining to cover these two crews. One crew did go out, but my crew was laid in because the administrative captain is covering us. We are available to respond to a fire, but this captain has to remain in camp, so we got the day off. Having the day off was very nice, and if this is an indication of what it is like to work in camp, I do like the prospects. I started my day the same way I do everyday. I completed the Wednesday morning run, and today was more taxing than usual. I believe it has to do with the higher-than-normal humidity as I worked up quite a sweat.

Upon learning we received a lay-in, I sought out the C/O who is responsible for the hiring/transferring of in-camp positions. He was busy with other matters, and I was happy to have the chance to speak with him later in the afternoon. After this, I returned to my room and read most of the morning. I am amazed as to how fast the morning progressed. I don’t know what it is, but the mornings spent in camp seem to go much faster than the mornings spent on the grade (outside of camp). I would think the reverse would be true because getting outside of camp seems like a great way to break up the day; however, the 3-1/2 hours this morning flew by, and I only read. I can see myself incorporating a routine where I can get all my work done (assuming I get the bathroom porter position) in the morning. Subsequently, this would give me the entire afternoon to do “me matters.” I believe this is the big difference between working on the grade and working in camp. While working on the grade, I am at the hands of others, and this is not my time. Whereas, being in camp all of the time is my time, and as long as I am doing my job, everything is great. This allows me to do other things which make the day go by even faster. Of course, I am always in the control of others, and I have not received the bathroom porter position. Timing helps a great deal in life, and the job change form requires the signature of my captain. My captain does not return from vacation until next Tuesday, and a whole host of things can happen by next Tuesday. I am of the mindset that if it is meant to be, it is meant to be. I will do my part, and everything will work out the way it is intended to be.

I do like being in camp and more “me time.” That may sound strange in this environment, but it is so very true. I have 6-1/2 months remaining, and I will make the best use of this time. Each day I continue to improve as a person. I will take this program with me when I am released because I feel so much better. In fact, I feel the best I have felt in years. Yes, it took prison for me to finally learn about myself, and I am so grateful for the opportunity. There are some members in GA who state they are “grateful compulsive gamblers.” My first year in GA I really didn’t understand this statement, but now I completely agree with them. I, too, am a grateful compulsive gambler along with a grateful inmate. My life continues to be saved by a plethora of resources, and I love this life so very much. Lastly, a very big Happy Birthday to my brother-in-law! Wow, 44. Where does the time go?