A Difference in One Year

As last night’s mail arrived, I received 2 pieces from very dear friends. In one letter came an article which was titled, BLIND TO THE BETS. This was a story about a woman from Palm Beach, Florida who embezzled $1.6 million from the Palm Beach County Convention and Visitors Bureau where she worked as the Controller. This was yet another horrible story about where compulsive gambling can take people. The woman was sentenced to 10 years in prison and will have to serve 8 years before being eligible for parole. The story did highlight the theft, but the crux of the story centered around the woman’s husband who had no idea of the embezzlement until his wife told him she was under investigation. This story was eerily similar to my own situation. The theft occurred over 3 years and my theft occurred over 2 years. Yes, her dollar amount was triple mine but the similarities are there. My wife had no idea nor did this woman’s husband. I hid everything from my wife, as did this woman from her husband. There was a question in the article which asked how her husband who was a former accountant and computer programmer did not know. In my case, it was very easy as was in this case as well. As I was gambling compulsively I kept everything to myself and I did all the finances just as the woman did. She gambled on the Internet as I did, and her husband thought it was part of the job. Lo and behold, three years goes by and $1.6 million is missing. The woman confessed when confronted which was the same for me. The similarities don’t end with the crime as this woman has found Gamblers anonymous and I am approaching 2 ½ years without placing a bet. From the sounds of the article she is on her way to recovery and facing her prison sentence with a good attitude. Yes, the theft was a great deal of money but this is not a bad person. This is a person with a gambling affliction. Sometimes I wonder if judges hand out prison sentences as a deterrent to others. The problem in this case is a compulsive gambling in the grips of their disease will not think about the consequences of their actions so no amount of prison time will deter a true compulsive gambler. It has been an eye opening experience for me and I am so surprised the US has such a vindictive and punitive judicial system. I do wish this woman well and I hope she maintains the GA way which is living one day at a time. Even in prison life does get better when adhering to the principles in GA.

When I woke up last night, I noticed date of August 10th on my watch. One year ago today, I was in a holding cell in the Riverside County Jail awaiting my transfer to state prison. This was the most exasperating day of my journey. I almost lost it one year ago today. Now one year later and the difference is amazing. I am once again in Riverside County but at am immensely better facility. One year ago I thought that day would never end but now a year has passed and my life continues to get better. I believe I wrote a 40 page missive one year ago getting out all my emotions on this day. That helped me greatly and I am a much better person for having gone through that miserable day last year. Today was anything but miserable as I got up and ran for an hour and 40 minutes. One year ago today there wasn’t any freedom – let alone running. I was locked up like a caged animal and today I was as free as I am going to get as I serve the remainder of the sentence.

My crew and I were hoping for a lay-in since our regular Captain was on vacation. Well, this did not happen because we saw a replacement Captain walk up to the fire bus at work call. Oh well, so much for a day off and reading Harry Potter. We returned to the mountain community where we started the week off. There is a great deal of work that still remains and today we chipped/shredded the cut brush. This does provide a great workout and I picked the wrong side of the road. I picked the downhill side which meant I had to walk up hill with the cut brush. In my quest to always keep moving, I was working up quite a sweat. Some members of my crew must have had their minds on the lay-in because they did not seem as enthusiastic as they normally are. I noticed a few of them taking more breaks than usual. I don’t mind because ultimately it is up to me to stay focused and positive all day long. Things happen around me everyday which reveal negative energies and I always choose to be more positive. This makes for a great day.

As I was working the Swamper (person in charge) called me over and instructed me to sharpen the chain on the chainsaw. I thought this was unusual since I don’t work with the saw. It was unusual because this was the Swamper’s way of giving me a break. I didn’t mind pulling the brush but I do follow orders so now I know how to sharpen a chainsaw. This took me to lunchtime. Afterward, I returned to pulling the brush and assisted the Swamper in finding a lock which fell into one of the piles of cut brush. This was my big accomplishment for the day and the Swamper was very grateful. I was grateful to him because I am glad to help in anyway I can. Each day I do my best with a positive attitude and I feel so much better about myself.

The day on the grade ended about an hour earlier than usual because the replacement Captain had us stop work because it is a Friday. As I stopped I took the time to really notice the beautiful woodsy surroundings. Again it was a day without a cloud in the sky which was a rich deep blue. These are truly beautiful days and I have come very far in just one year. A year ago, I didn’t see the light of day and today I was enveloped by the bright sunshine. Time does make a difference.