It's October?

The days blend into each other so nicely that I cannot believe it’s October already and the second day at that! One thing that I continue to learn is time passes no matter what at a rapid pace. Of course, in my current situation, this is a positive, but on March 2nd, 2008, I would like to hit the pause button. Unfortunately, that is not possible, which is why I must enjoy each and every moment one day at a time, and I most certainly will.

Last night was the drive-thru dinner, and once again, my roommate came through with the soy products (burger and sausage). We ate outside at our spot which is at the bottom of the hill. Normally, we sit by the fountain, but ever since we have moved rooms, we have started sitting at the bottom of the hill. The other day we spotted a bobcat roaming around the bottom of the hill some 20 feet away from where we sat. I don’t believe I have seen a bobcat before, and I was surprised how small it appeared. I was very impressed with its very large paws, and it was well fed. The bobcat didn’t bother me because I didn’t bother the bobcat. I watched as it meandered on its way probably looking for its next prey.

After dinner, I found myself watching the Monday Night Football game in the television room. I was interested in the game because the New England Patriots were playing. They are having a very good season. It wasn’t much of a game, and I departed at halftime to pick up my mail. The mail continues to be very good to me, and last night I received three pieces; two from my dear friends and one from my mother. The envelope from my mother contained some notes I have taken over the past 2-1/2 years in hopes of creating a book. I read the notes and realized something I hadn’t realized before about my early entry into gambling. I was a confused adolescent, and my proclivity to numbers along with my need to be liked (especially by my father) paved a road of destruction. It took a very long time on this road of destruction, and now it is a road of construction as I live in peace and tranquility. I cannot put my finger on the exact moment I went from being attracted to gambling to the point I became a compulsive gambler. All through my adolescent development I gravitated towards gambling. Whether it was a nominal wager on the Baseball All Star Game with my father or playing poker with my friends, I enjoyed gambling when I first started. As the years progressed, I became addicted to the action of gambling, which is why I found myself in Las Vegas working for a casino. I always thought it would be great working in the gaming industry because it would satiate my need for action. Almost the direct opposite happened, and my need for action grew as I thought I could be one of the “smart guys.” At one point, I thought I was one of those guys, but I was only fooling myself, and I was very dumb. I got caught up in a never-ending cycle which gratefully led me to where I am right now, prison. I was a prisoner of my own actions 2-1/2 years ago. Now, I am free even though I am a prisoner of the California Department of Corrections. I am eternally grateful for this journey because my life is now better than it has ever been.

It was good to read these notes, and my intention is to draft an outline in the next five months so I can fill in that outline when I am released. I have no idea where it will go from there, but I do know nature will take its course. Instead of plans, I have intentions, and I trust in my intentions more than I ever have in my life. Thank God for “The Power of Intention” because it is shaping my life in a very positive manner along with “Change Your Thoughts – Change Your Life” – living the wisdom of the Tao. I continue to find sources of enlightenment, and I am forever grateful.

The early morning cam very quickly, and I was up to do my Tuesday burpee/pushup routine. I continue to be the “wake-up guy” even though I have moved rooms. It seems that if I don’t wake these guys up, they won’t get up. The other day I forgot, and they slept right through. Now, I make it a point to wake them up before I start working out, and they do get out of bed to start their workouts. My lower back was feeling much better. I had a very good workout and started my workday. Everything went smoothly this morning, and I had time to work out again before lunch. When I finished my workout, a fellow inmate came over to me and asked if all the exercise I do is detrimental to my health. I sort of chuckled, but he was serious and seemed concerned for my well-being. I explained that I only do the double-session workout on certain days and that my exercise is part of my therapy. It helps me to pass the time and keep my head clear of any negativity. I enjoy my workouts tremendously, and my intention is to keep on doing them for as long as I can. This was a very nice question, and it showed concern. There isn’t too much that happens in this environment that is a secret, and it is no secret I am an exerciseaholic. I do it because I enjoy it, and I feel healthy. If there is ever a point where I don’t feel healthy, I will stop. I have been given a wonderful opportunity to get my mind and being in perfect harmony. I am taking full advantage of this opportunity, and I am very grateful.