"Life Isn't Fair, or Is It?"

I spent 30 minutes talking with my mother on the telephone. I do feel like a burden sometimes because these collect calls are very expensive, but my mother put me at ease when she said, “Who cares!” Yes, my mother is very special, and we had a great conversation. I did get some unfortunate news regarding the possibility of my nephew visiting when my mother comes back in January. My sister doesn’t want my nephew to visit me, and I respect her decision. It is hard for a very young person who is impressionable to come into this environment. It would have been great to see him as our relationship has grown so much in the past six months, but I will see him soon enough when I am released, and I won’t have to wear orange!

My mother and I covered a wide array of topics, and as usual, it was great. I would like to share what my grandmother said as she received a note from me earlier this week. In the note, I thanked her for all that she has done for me over my lifetime. As regular readers of this blog know, I am a very blessed and grateful person. I used these two words – blessed and grateful – in the note I sent to her, and she said, “I get scared when he talks like that.” I think she is worried I will turn into a Bible thumper or Holy Roller. Now, there isn’t anything wrong with very Christian people, but this is not who I am. I do my best to refrain from pushing my views on anyone, and I consider myself more spiritual in a broad sense. I was raised Roman Catholic, and I do believe all religions share a common goal. I prefer to keep my thoughts to myself, but I will continue to say I am blessed and grateful in area of life. I told this story to my friends last night, and they laughed while saying, “Your grandmother is very cool and, obviously, all there.” She certainly is very cool, and for being 85 years old, she doesn’t miss much of anything.

The telephone call ended, and I meandered around before heading to dinner. Later, I was hoping to watch a documentary hosted by Ted Koppel on the Discovery Channel regarding the prison overcrowding issue in California. As it turned out, the broadcast aired at 10:00 p.m. which is well past my bedtime. I did receive a summary on the two-hour program from a few fellow inmates who stayed up and watched it. The reviews were mixed. I think one of my fellow inmates was hoping there was more of a direct message that the prison system in California is broke and that the only way to alleviate some of the problems is to release the lower-level custody inmates (us!). This was not the case, but it sounds like the show was very informative for the public who is unaware of the current situation. I believe Ted Koppel did make a statement at the end of the broadcast stating that the prison system in California is in trouble and that building their way out of it is NOT the solution. I would like to have seen this, and hopefully, it will be aired again. I am not sure if I will see any changes to this system in the next five months as things take time to change. The system is now in the hands of the three-federal-judge panel, and presumably, they will make recommendations soon. I may see some changes to the parole system such as shortening the term to 6 months from 13 months. This is certainly good, especially if I have to wait out the 6 months in California. I do believe some of the guys here will see some relief as they still have a few years to serve, and if some of these guys are released early, the public has nothing to worry about. Most of them, including me, are only a danger to themselves, not the public. The politicians love to spin the rhetoric when saying releasing any inmate early is a threat to public safety. There was a warden featured in the documentary who stated that releasing the lower-level custody inmates would not pose a threat to the public. All I know is my release date is March 2, 2008 (I am still awaiting word on the miscalculation of the four days, which would put my release date at February 27th), and I will enjoy the next five months and look forward to that day.

I woke up at my normal time and did the Monday run. I guess I didn’t earn the nickname Forest (as in Forest Gump) for nothing. Yes, that is right. One of my neighbors has adeptly nicknamed me Forest due to my propensity to run, and run, and run some more. Certainly, I don’t mind, and it is quite fitting. After running, I had breakfast and my job duties. I then returned to my room and started T.D. Jakes’ “Reposition Yourself”. My mother saw him on the Dr. Phil television show and sent me his book. As it turns out, one of my neighbors has the same book and really enjoyed it while speaking highly of the author.

The author, T. D. Jakes, is a tremendous entrepreneur along with being a preacher and a bishop to a congregation with 30,000 members. The book is of the self-help genre and is very well written. Within each chapter is a biblical reference that is later expanded upon. I reached one passage where Reverend Jakes speaks of how life isn’t fair. I have seen this in other self-help books, and ultimately, the authors state this while saying so what, get over it. I really never paid it much thought until reading it is this particular book. I don’t believe life isn’t fair. I believe life is life and really it is what it is. So often, I could get caught up in excuses, and this life isn’t fair is one of these excuses. My father would say to me time and time again that life isn’t fair. I’m not so sure it isn’t being fair. Presumably, if I am a spiritual being having a human experience, life truly doesn’t exist. I am merely passing through. This journey has been labeled “life” for lack of a better term. I believe life is what I make it, and calling it unfair puts anyone at a disadvantage. This all goes toward “The Power of Intention”. When I intend that life isn’t fair, then it is unfair. I look at life as being wonderful. Sure, there are people who come from unfair circumstances when they were younger. Let’s face it. As young people say from birth to the teenage years our lives are a product of our environment/parents. During these ages, we don’t have the ability to fully make our own choices. Does this make it unfair? I don’t believe so because somewhere along the way I started to make my own choices, and some of these were good, and some were not so good. All in all, my life is more than fair, and I love every minute of it.