Serenity Prayer Redux

I couldn’t just relax yesterday. Well, that is not entirely correct because I did relax all day. I guess I couldn’t go a day without some type of exercising. Since I didn’t have any visits yesterday, I was struggling to find a routine for a Sunday. Normally, I am out at the visiting area, and my morning moves by so quickly. I wrote for a little while, and I needed something more to do. I decided to do a power-walk around the track and up the hill. I harkened back to the journaling days at Jamestown. My intention was to power walk for an hour, but I was feeling so good I decided to do another hour. I had a grand time walking around listening to the radio through my headphones. There was a great jazz special on the contemporary local radio station, and I was getting into the jazz tunes. I was also getting a big kick out of the DJ who is an old-time jazz DJ with the “voice.” He painted such detailed pictures with his words that I was mesmerized. I had to keep walking in order to listen to him and the great songs. As it turns out, he was promoting an upcoming jazz festival on Catalina Island. Apparently, this jazz festival takes place every year during the first 3 weekends in October. I had no idea, and it sounded like it would be a great show. I’m not a jazz aficionado by any stretch of the imagination, but I do appreciate the genre. Who knows? Maybe one of these years my wife and I will find ourselves on Catalina Island attending the jazz festival.

Since my power-walk was performed when everyone was in camp, I got some incredulous looks as I walked by many of my fellow inmates for two hours. One inmate who I saw after finishing asked me if I walked a marathon?? No, I didn’t walk a marathon, but I certainly enjoyed the beautiful weather and surroundings as I walked. It was a wonderful two hours, and afterward, I really relaxed throughout the day. I wrote some more and found a way to pass the time constructively.

I think I am living vicariously through my roommate because the stories he has from his job here are very funny. I spent most of the afternoon laughing at these stories because he couldn’t possibly make them up. I do enjoy the time with my roommate as we get along very well. I also listened to the radio yesterday afternoon in hopes of finding out if the New York Mets made the playoffs. Unfortunately, they did not make the playoffs, and I am not sure what happened. They were in first place all season long until yesterday, the final day. My hopes for a second subway series between the Mets and Yankees were dashed. There is always next year. I did watch the New York Giants football game last night and left the television room when the giants were leading 16-0 over the Philadelphia Eagles. I couldn’t figure out if the Giants defense was that good or the Eagles offense was that bad. Once again, it was great to be a fan and not interested in only the final score. I don’t even know what the final score was because I was back in my room talking with my roommate as the game ended.

I had my usual interrupted sleeping pattern last night, and my lower back was a little sore when I woke up. The only thing I can attribute this to is the power-walk. I can also attribute this to my roommate who was discussing his bad back at length last night before I went to sleep. I think he was sending me subliminal messages!! I, in turn, got sympathy pain. I doubt this, but I did tell him that, and he laughed. I still decided to run this morning, and after the first few laps, the pain went away. Subsequently after the run, the soreness came back. This is where I need to be careful and monitor my body. I had no problems cleaning the bathrooms, and right now I can only feel a little stiffness.

Today was the first day with a new helper in the bathrooms as the old helper paroled yesterday. I am very fortunate because this new helper is another member of “The View” and a great guy. We get along very well, and this morning we worked well together. We had to take extra time because some of the “executives” from the prison system were walking the grounds. I guess this happens from time to time, and we were diligently working as they came through the bathroom. Also, since this is Monday, the bathrooms do require a little more effort. This make up the bulk of the morning, and the two of us had lunch together at the base of the hill. Once again the weather is beautiful with temperatures in the low 80’s with a slight breeze. Here it is October 1st, and I am sitting here wearing shorts, sandals, and a tank top. You certainly can’t beat the weather in this part of southern California.

I read the daily passage in “Change Your Thoughts – Change Your Life” – living the way of the Tao. The passage was titled “Living Calmly.” Once again, the passage was perfect. I have always shown a very calm exterior, but in years gone by, my interior has been anything but calm. Thankfully, over the course of the past 2-1/2 years, I have found the inner calm (peace). I attribute part of this to the “Serenity Prayer.” As I was reading today’s passage, I realized I was using the “Serenity Prayer” all wrong. Often, I have found myself in situations where I have no control (especially in my current circumstances) and would call on the “Serenity Prayer” for guidance. According to today’s passage, “Living Calmly” is the way to live all the time not in certain circumstances. The “Serenity Prayer” says it all, and I believe living this daily is the way to true peace. The passage eloquently states, “The solution for a life of unrest is choosing stillness.” Let’s face it, I have a choice in every moment, and my choice is calm. The passage goes on to talk about being a hostage to your ego. This is so true because my ego falsely gives me a sense of rising above it all. There is no need to rise above anything if I am grounded with peace, calm, and stillness. I have the ability to stay poised and centered regardless of what goes before me. Serenity, tranquility, and calm are the ways of my life, and I am forever grateful.

Today at lunch, I was asked if I have any worries. I thought long and hard about this, and I don’t have any worries. I do have concerns for the welfare of my wife and children but not worries. I am learning to live a centered life in touch with real feelings, and it is truly magnificent. Worry, fear, resentment, and all the other negative emotions have no place in my life. It has taken me a very long time to realize these things, and I am grateful for having finally realized it. Life is wonderful, and a life immersed in calmness is a blessing.