Accidents Happen

In the category of “you never know what the day will bring” comes a telephone call from my wife yesterday evening informing me she had just been in a car accident. As most of you are aware my wife is 3,000 miles away in New Jersey will I am in California. Thankfully no one (other then the mini-van) was hurt as our children were in the car at the time of the accident. My wife was driving on one of the congested New Jersey roadways and the person behind her wasn’t paying attention and slammed into my wife’s rear bumper. I remember many years ago when I first got my driver’s license that it was automatically the person’s fault driving the car that hit the other person from behind and I do remember citations being given out to that driver. Times apparently have changed as the person who crashed into my wife did not receive a citation but was clearly identified at fault.

I could tell from my wife’s voice she was shaken and fortunately it was only her nerves that were shaken along with the nerves of my daughter and son. The biggest tragedy came when the milkshakes my children were drinking at the time of the accident spilled on their pants and the floor of the mini-van! Other than that and a crushed rear bumper the damage appeared to be minimal. Since New Jersey has one of the highest automobile insurance rates in the country the driver of the other vehicle was very hesitant to go through insurance. He assured my wife he would pay for the damage himself and didn’t want the insurance companies involved.

My wife was very confused and really didn’t have a clear picture of what to do so she called me first but when I didn’t answer the first call she telephoned our brother-in-law who gave some very good advice. He advised to contact a police officer and file a police report. My wife did dial 911 and an officer arrived on scene within minutes. The issue became the police report because once the police report was completed the insurance companies would be notified. This is not what the other driver wanted. I did speak with the other driver who seemed to be very truthful and sincere in his willingness to pay for the damage himself. New Jersey does have a provision in their law that in an automobile accident a police report can be filled out up to 10 days after the date of the accident. This gave my wife a window of opportunity and having the officer on scene gave a very reliable witness. After speaking with the person I suggested to my wife to give him the benefit of the doubt and not to complete the police report last night thus keeping the insurance companies out of the mix. The person seemed very grateful and assured my wife he would “make good” on the damage.

The agreement had my wife getting an estimate from an auto body shop and submitting this estimate to the person at fault in the accident. If the estimate was higher then expected or the person who stated they would pay started having second thoughts then a police report would be filed and the insurance companies would be contacted. This seemed very reasonable to me and my wife assured me she had everyone’s pertinent information and then proceeded to drive home.

A few minutes later after hanging up with my wife my cell phone rang and it was my daughter who wanted to talk to me because she was a “little nervous”. My daughter is so cute and first off she assured me she wasn’t hurt other then having her milkshake spill on her pants. She was indeed nervous and wanted some reassuring from me. I did the best I could from this distance and hopefully it helped. This was the very first accident my children had experienced so they were a little in shock. I certainly wanted to be right there with them giving them a big hug telling them everything would be alright but I had to forgo the hug and reassure them with words. These are moments I so want to be with my family and I know our time is rapidly approaching. This is just another one of those “you never know” days and I was very grateful everyone was fine.

I did do my best to reassure my daughter and I even made her laugh so hopefully she went to sleep feeling better. My daughter is a bit of a worry wart and tends to blow things out of proportion but in the end she always turns out great. My son is actually more sensitive then my daughter and some times the focus goes to my daughter when the focus needs to be on my son. I did speak with him and he being only 7 years old makes it difficult for me to have a long distance conversation. I did my best and I know my wife was certainly there for him. The key component of all of this was the fact that mini-van got damaged but no one was injured. The mini-van will be fixed and it will be just like there wasn’t an accident.

Later on yesterday evening my wife did call me and she was second guessing herself for not getting a police report. I have such a new perspective in recovery and since being released from prison. I like to play the “worse case scenario” which I presented to my wife. The worse case scenario had the person who hit my wife flake out and not pay which only meant that the insurance companies would handle the damages. In the big picture of life this is an example of one of the many “little things” and there really is no need to “sweat” those little things. One way or another the mini-van will be fixed and whether the insurance pays less a deductible or the person involved in the accident pays it will all work out in the end.

Today my wife did get an estimate and even though the damage was minimal the price was still high. When I heard the damage described I immediately thought of a figure and wouldn’t you know it the estimate was right around that figure. My wife called the person involved in the accident and faxed over the estimate to him. Hopefully if all goes well the mini-van will be fixed by next week.

My wife has been through a great deal in these past two years all do to my misdeeds. She certainly does not deserve any of what I have put her through but she has done an amazing job. This is yet another thing she didn’t need but sometimes life works this way. I am so grateful for my wife and all that she continues to do. She is a wonderful, wife, mother and person. I love her so very much!