Should I Start the Countdown?

I woke up at my usual time after a usual night’s sleep and realized today, June 28th, marks 8 months until my release. The question I posed was to whether or not I should start the countdown. Eight months is not very long as I have already served almost 12 months. I am well past the halfway point and on the downhill to my release date. In recovery I have learned to take “One day at a time” and I am proud to say I have not gambled in 850 days. Time has gone by very quickly over this past year but for some reason time seems to have slowed down since I arrived at fire camp last month. The seven months I served at Jamestown seemed to have gone by so fast and I believe this has something to do looking back. I don’t even remember my first month at Jamestown and before I knew it, I was moving on to fire camp. Right now I am looking forward to seeing my family in a little over 2 weeks. And, then it will be another 7 months until I see them again.

I seem to have gotten off track with my thoughts. The days are moving by as quickly as the nights. It seems I have so little time to do much of anything when I return back from work during the week. The 5 ½ hours from 4:30 to 10:00 pm whiz by so fast. The eight hours during the day seem to go by much slower. I may need an attitude adjustment because I just don’t enjoy the work during the day. I have never been a mechanical or outdoorsy person. I found my niche at Jamestown because I was able to combine my passion for exercising with a job. The days did go by fast because I enjoyed myself. I don’t really hate the work here and I know I will find my way.

Okay, I have really fallen off track so let me get back to my original thought. Today is exactly eight months until my release. It is how I approach the use of my time that will determine the speed in which it passes. If I lament everyday (which I do not) then of course time will trudge forward. On the other hand if I take on these new challenges with a positive attitude time will move by quickly. Today I got up with a positive attitude and carried it forward.

Today at breakfast, I gave away my French toast to a member of the table who is being released tomorrow. This was his last breakfast as an inmate and he will be free when he walks out tomorrow at 8:00 am. I gladly gave him my gluten enriched French toast as a going away present.

After breakfast, I booted up and went to the bus area to check in and found out we would be once again assigned to septic duty down below camp. Before going on our assignment, the Captain took us on a hike. Everyone on the crew stayed with the Captain and since this was a training hike we were required to stay in order. I remained directly behind my friend who did very well. The Captain who led us on the hike is in excellent shape and it is hard to believe he is almost 50 years old. During the hike, I realized I do enjoy it and would like to hike much more. I still have to motivate myself for the work portion of the job, but when a fire does arrive, I will be ready.

The hike was over and it was on to digging the holes for the septic system. Just like I did yesterday, I stayed close to my friend. The dig entailed watching a loader dig a hole, then the hole was filled with rocks and finally covered with dust. The only part I had to do was make the rocks smooth over the pipes. It was a very simple job but shockingly, smoothing out rocks does provide for physical activity. Also, It is an incredibly dusty job. At the end of the day, I was covered in dust. Even though the project was mundane, the day passed soon enough.

With dinner over, I did something out of the norm. Usually I go back to my room and write until the mail call is announced. Tonight was the very last night for one of the inmates; I decided to go without writing and instead stayed at the table in his honor. The four of us talked all night and the member who was going home tomorrow had an exterior glow. This has got to be a great feeling which I will feel also in eight months. However, there was a gleam in his eyes and an excitement in his voice. He has spent 18 months inside the prison system and now his sentence has been served. He gets to go home with his wife and children. His crime was much different than mine but his sentence was very similar. Tomorrow night at this time he will be in his own house with his family. When I think about it the feeling is almost overwhelming. I felt very good for him and I will miss him. I have only know him one month but he will be one of the few unforgettable people I have met on this journey. The night concluded, as it was time to go back to our rooms. We all saved our “good-byes” for the morning.