Baseball Game

Yesterday evening we attended a minor league baseball game because my daughter (Lauren) was cheering with her cheerleading team. It was so very cute. At least 100 young ladies from the ages of three to twelve performed a few cheers before the baseball game. No amount of money in the world could provide the joy I had seeing my daughter perform her cheers. After the cheering was completed we all watched a minor league baseball game. The minor leagues keep the children interested because let's face it baseball is not the most fascinating sport to watch when you are four years old (my son). The team kept the interest of most young people between innings with a wonderfully funny mascot and giveaways. Each inning they were throwing tee shirts, baseballs and frisbees into the stand. My son was very upset because we didn't get anything but he was very happy to have his ice cream, oh the little things sure do go a long way. I cherish moments like these so much more and my current situation has taught me to take pride in today and I did. It was a great evening.

Yesterday I went to a casino and today I went to a racetrack. Don't be alarmed I didn't gamble nor did I have any urge to gamble. I went to a casino yesterday to have a lunch interview. It was very surreal interview because these people I had no idea about my situation and I didn't tell them. I suspect they will find out on their own but right now I am under no obligation to disclose anything, am I being dishonest? I don't want to say what the interview was for but I will say they need someone very quickly because it is a mess. Yes, it is an accounting position but it is not with a casino. I think they need a warm body and I am certainly a warm body. Whether or not I get the chance to perform the necessary functions of this position is another story. They told me they would get back to me on Tuesday. I will say it once again; God I hate what I did to myself and my family.

Today I went to a racetrack to do an interview about my current situation. It was the exact opposite of yesterday. The people interviewing me for Courtv knew my situation and I was able to answer their questions. Here is the flip side if I didn't do what I did I wouldn't have met these "TV" people and I must say they appear to be good people. I spent the entire afternoon and evening with these people and I really like them. They even took my entire family out to dinner. We are doing the second half of the interview at my house tomorrow morning. I am the anti-glamour gaming person on the documentary, think of it as "don't let this happen to you".

The reason why we filmed at a racetrack was due to the fact my first "real" bet was made at a racetrack when I was 12 years old. I think my mother remembers but I will refresh everyone else. I took $2 and went to the teller and bet the 4 horse in the 4th race to show because my mother was adamant about me betting show (3rd place), I really wanted to bet the horse to win but I listened to my mother. Well, wouldn't you know it my horse won and paid $32 to win but $6.20 to show. I collected my $6.20 and was very upset at my mother. I never bet another horse to show and never listened to my mother again!!! The exhilarating part about this wager was I placed the wager myself. I know a 12 year old shouldn't place a wager but I always looked older when I was younger (now it is the opposite which I guess is a good thing!) and I thought this was cool. This is not the reason I turned into a compulsive gambler that happened 4 years later but there was something to placing this wager and watching the race knowing I had money it. I didn't understand the sensation in my body at the time and I wouldn't fully realize this sensation until 27 years later. In fact I denied this sensation for years, in only the last 96 days do I completely understand how this sensation affected my life. Some people learn quickly I on the other hand seem to learn very slowly. I get it now!!!