Could This Be The End?

It is the night before I am due to be sentenced for the third time. I am hoping the third time is a charm!! The first time was back on April 21st and the night before I wrote about how my life is incredible. My life is still incredible and I intend my life to continue to be incredible because I am I am working my recovery each and every day. I have not stopped working my recovery for the past 498 days and I intend on having many more days of recovery for my lifetime one day at time.

I have been assured tomorrow "everything will get done and I will be sentenced." However; I have heard this before so I will believe it when it actually happens. Yes, I want to start to serve whatever time the Judge deems appropriate so I can get back to my family. It has only been four days since I last saw my daughter and son and I miss them dearly. My wonderful brother-in-law was kind enough to send some photos of all the cousins back in New Jersey and I had tears in my eyes looking at the photos of my daughter and son.

My children are having a great time in New Jersey with all their cousins, aunts, uncles, grandpa and grandmas. They are being kept busy with many activities and they are doing very well. I have an incredible family which extends to my own family with my sisters, father, father's wife and my mother to my fantastic in-laws. They are all doing a great job keeping my children occupied during this very stressful time. I am forever grateful to everyone in my family; thank you so very much and I love each one of you very much.

My friends inside and outside of the Gamblers Anonymous Program will be showing their support for my wife and me tomorrow at court. Some of these dear friends have taken a day off work so they could attend the sentencing. I am a blessed person to be surrounded by so much support, love and genuine affection. These are special people who have touched my life in so many ways and I love them all, thank you so very much I am forever in your debt.

My wife and I spend a very quiet last evening at another dear friend's house who was kind enough to open up their home to us even though they are going away on vacation. These are very special people who I did not know some sixteen and half months ago yet today I consider them my best friend. I had know idea there was so much love and affection in the world some sixteen and half months ago but now I know that there are some very extraordinary people in this world and I am blessed to call all these people friends.

I would be remiss not to mention the people I have met via the internet and this blog. There are so many special people who have helped me through this very difficult period and I am forever grateful for their kindness, support and genuine affection. These too are great people who I am very pleased to call friends. Thank you so very much for all that you have done to help me recover from this horrible addiction.

There are too many people to mention them by name and I am a very blessed person to have been touched by each and everyone of you. I know that no matter what happens or what doesn't happen tomorrow I am on the right path to an incredible life thanks to my family, friends, Gamblers Anonymous Program and my Higher Power. Life does exist after compulsive gambling and it is a great life and will continue to get better each and everyday one day at a time.

I want to thank my dear wife for all of her compassion, understanding and neverending support. I love her so very much that words would not do her justice. She has stood by me during this entire period and I am forever grateful for this incredible woman. Thank you so very much I love you so much. I know time will pass soon enough and I will be back and our life will continue to get better and we will grow together and share a fantastic life.

Finally, I wanted to finish up with a few articles in regards to compulsive gambling. Just because tomorrow I will get sentenced to most likely a prison term it does not mean all compulsive gamblers will immediately stop their illegal behavior. Compulsive gambling will continue no matter my sentence and here is yet another example of where this horrible addiction can lead people. This article talks about the horrible irreversible consequences of compulsive gambling.

Yes, compulsive gambling is a very serious addiction/disease and something needs to be done about it. In that regard Congress passed a bill today (albeit a bit symbolic because there really is not teeth in this legislation but it is a good start) prohibiting the use of credit cards for online gambling. I know there are ways around this but at least it is a good first step. Lastly, there is a congressman from Massachusetts who is proposing legislation help compulsive gamblers with treatment and awareness. This bill has a long way to go in order for it to be approved and it is up against the heavy hitters of the gaming industry but it is nice to see someone actually proposing something like this. It may take a few years for this bill in a different form to be passed but I like the direction it is headed. Maybe when my time is served there will be some formal legislation in place to help the compulsive gambler.