Last GA Meeting for Awhile?

I woke up this morning in the town I have lived in the past five years but for the first time I wasn't in my house. My house is gone due to my compulsive gambling addiction. Thank God my wife and I have made some very special friends in the five years we have lived here because these special friends have opened up their homes to us. I continue to be amazed by the generosity and love that have been bestowed upon me and my family by our very special friends.

Yes, it fled strange to wake up in an unfamiliar house but these are such great friends who understand the situation oh so well that the unfamiliar feeling was gone in a blink of an eye. My wife and I had a very relaxing day. I worked out at my usual workout place (Gold's Gym) and saw the same people I have seen in the past sixteen months. I have made some very good friends at the Gym; some who know my situation and some who haven't. Throughout this entire situation I have realized I am still a human being and I am so grateful that everyone I have met continues to treat as one. I made a very large mistake which I am paying for in so many ways; however; as one of my friends stated, "I am not a bad person".

Thank God I have so many special people in my life who have stood by me and my family in this time of need. These are great people who are outstanding human beings in so many ways and I am forever grateful.

This afternoon my wife and I decided to take advantage of not having the children. (The children are back in New Jersey hanging out with their Grandfather, Grandfather's wife, Aunts and many many cousins, they are having a blast.) We attended a movie at the inexpensive movie theater. There is a movie theater in town that plays movies that have been out awhile for at a discounted rate ($3.00). We went to see The DaVinci Code. I read the book about two years ago and loved it as did most people. I heard mixed reviews about the movie so my expectations were very low which may have been good. I thought the movie was good; not very good just good.

Everytime I see a movie where I have read the book that preceded the book invariably is better so I knew this going into the movie. The movie was solid it was not as frenetic as the book and there were some departures from the book. However; I was not bored with the movie and it was very entertaining two and half hours to spend the afternoon with my wife. The story line both in the book and the movie is very interesting. Yes, I know it is fiction but I like things that go against convention and make me think. This movie as did the book made me think.

After the movie I attended what could be my last Gamblers Anonymous meeting for awhile. This meeting is a one hour topic meeting and I was able to pick the topic. The topic was HOPE. I picked this topic because the GA Program gave me hope some 497 days ago when I attended my first meeting. This hope continues as I have attended many meetings and I know I will attend many more because the Program has given me a new positive life without gambling.

This meeting has struggled in the past partly because of the time (5:00 pm) but tonight we had 11 people attend and one newcomer. There was also a person who I hadn't seen in awhile so it was nice that we have this meeting as an option for those people. The newcomer was filled with pain and I hope this person comes back because that pain can be turned into happiness. I know for myself my pain has turned to happiness because of my new way of life. My new way of life consists of honesty, open-mindness and willingness to continue doing the right things.

Normally I would attend the Tuesday night GA meeting but tomorrow maybe the last night I spend with my wife and I wanted to spend the entire night with her. So today marks my last GA meeting for awhile. I am so happy I attended the meeting because as is always the case I felt so much better before the meeting than I did before. I have gained so much courage, experience, strength and HOPE from this Program. I am forever grateful to the Program for giving me my life back.

Earlier today I did speak with my attorney. We went over a few items and I am not thoroughly convinced Wednesday will be my final day. I only say this because of what has happened the past two times. I won't believe my sentencing will actually happen until it actually happens. There are a number of items that can prevent me from being sentenced and my attorney is working on those items. I do want this to be over and I want to start whatever sentence the judge deems appropriate but I do know all of this is out of my hands. I have to believe it will happen on Wednesday afternoon but if it doesn't there is not a whole lot I can do. These are the consequences I must live with and I am trying best each and every day.