Extraordinary People

Today was the last day we as a family would be staying at my mother’s house. My children will be back next week as well as my wife. However; this “appears” to be the last time for me as I am heading back to Southern California to learn my fate next Wednesday (God willing).

Last night my wife slept with my daughter because her best friend (her cousin) went home and my daughter was sad. She was not only sad her cousin went home but she knows I will be leaving for a few years tomorrow which also adds to her sadness. So my wife slept with my daughter to comfort her which means I slept with my son. Sleeping with my son is one of life’s simple moments because he is so peaceful (except for the snoring!) as he sleeps. He has so much energy and goes non-stop all day long that when his head hits the pillow he is asleep in seconds. It is so nice to see him at peace because it is the complete opposite of how he is during the day.

My son also has a habit of snuggling up against me during the night so I have to be careful not to role the wrong way. Not that I would crush my son because I am a very skinny person and my son is extremely solid even though he is five years old. In fact in a few short years my son will weigh more than me and will mostly likely be much stronger. So I better be nice to him!! Seeing my wife with my daughter and watching my son sleep gives me so much gratitude for all the blessings I have in my life. I am so thankful to be in recovery so I can finally enjoy these blessings for their true purpose.

After sleeping in for awhile with my son we finally got up. I went for my final New Jersey workout and my mom made pancakes for the children. On my way to the Gold’s Gym where I have been working out all week I still missed the turn for the fourth consecutive time. For some reason my directionals were all screwed up this week and I had a hard time getting around. I don’t know why because I have been here before and hadn’t had any problems in the past but oh well I was able to find the gym and get home without any incidents even though it took longer than expected.

Speaking of incidents; I finally found out how much my “right turn on red” traffic ticket cost; $85 and apparently three points as well. I don’t know if the points will transfer to my California license which I hope they don’t but assuming I do get sentence next Wednesday my driving record should be clean for a few years while I “serve” my time! Yes, that is a little joke and yes, I do know my situation is serious; however; I cannot take a woe is me attitude or I will be doomed to failure in my recovery.

I did what I did and I will suffer the consequences. I take full responsibility for my actions and I look forward to starting the next phase of my life. Yes, being away from my family will be difficult but it is something I must do in order to repay my debt to society. The Judge will decide what is appropriate next week and I will respect his decision and serve my time to the best of my ability while continuing my recovery.

The children had a great last day at my mom’s; they swam, we played baseball and had a great time. This entire week has been another one of the long list of blessings I have experienced in these past three months. I had a wonderful time with my mom, my stepfather and my grandmother. It was great seeing my older sister and her family. She has three great children and I can only hope and pray my two children turn out half as good as hers. I have a wonderful family and I look forward to many more years of these blessings.

My mom and I spent some “alone” time where we discussed a number of matters and it was good to spend this time with her. She is a very special person to me and I love her dearly. We said two “so-longs” which I will get to in a minute. The first one was at her house when I was leaving to attend a dinner with some extraordinary people in the Gamblers Anonymous Program.

I attended this dinner at the behest of my dear friend Arnie Wexler who I have written about in the past. Arnie and I have only known each other a little over a year but I can him a dear friend. He is a remarkable man who has devoted his life to helping those affected with a compulsive gambling addiction. He has helped me so very much and I was honored to accompany him and 15 other fellow Gamblers Anonymous and Gam-Anon members for a lovely dinner. The dinner was a prelude to the GA meeting where there was a member celebrating 25 years in the Program.

There was approximately 600 years of recovery in attendance at the dinner. I was honored to add my one year to this total. There were some extraordinary people who I had never met before but I felt so comfortable because they had what I want which is recovery and a great life. I know the key to this recovery is working the GA Program to the best of my ability which will provide me with a great life as it has done for these extraordinary people.

Normally, I feel very uncomfortable in a large setting with strangers but none of these people were strangers they were just like me a compulsive gambler trying to get their life together through a fantastic Program. I spoke with so many great people it was invigorating and it was my honor and pleasure to be in attendance with so much recovery.

Twenty-two years ago I received a telephone call from a GA member when I got into trouble the first time with my compulsive gambling and this person could have been in the room tonight. I can harp on why I never attended a GA meeting 22 years ago but that would be counter-productive and at the time I was not ready to surrender. Some twenty-one years later I was ready to surrender and I am very glad to have made this decision because it has changed and saved my life. I have met so many extraordinary people in my short time in the GA Program and I look forward to meeting many many more.

After dinner we all went to the GA meeting where there were about 50 people in attendance and about 1,000 years of recovery in the room. For so long I was afraid to attend a New Jersey Gamblers Anonymous meeting but my first two experiences have been wonderful. It is just like our little group in Southern California; people helping other people to overcome/arrest their gambling problem. The only difference is the number of years in recovery. Our little group is relatively new to GA but the principles are the same. In fact; the principles are the same in any GA meeting I have attended. Yes, the approach or the flow of the meeting maybe slightly different but the end result is always the same; RECOVERY.

GA is not an abstinence Program in my opinion; it is a Program of RECOVERY. I have experienced recovery and continue to experience recovery as long as I work the Program. I am a blessed person with so many blessings and so many things going for me. I know the near future is filled with uncertainties but I also know those uncertainties will not have an affect on me as long as I stay in recovery. This requires me to work the Program each and every day of my life in order to get better. I met so many people with 35 plus years in the Program and each person praised the Program for helping save their lives and get a better life. I know my life was crap when I gambled and now that I don’t gamble and work the Program my life is wonderful.

The meeting was great and there was so much recovery in everyone’s therapy I was blown away. It was not rehashing old gambling stories it was recovery therapy. There were some great stories and some things I had never heard before; I laughed, I cried and I was grateful to be in that room. My mom was also grateful to be in the room and yes, she attended the meeting as well. I am so very happy my mom attended the meeting because she (again) saw first hand what this Program of recovery can do for anyone who works it

Yes, I had to say a second “so-long” to my mom after the meeting and it was emotional but I am very grateful she was there to meet all those extraordinary people. I said my so-long to my dear friend Arnie Wexler and we parted with an “I love you”. This is a genuine feeling and I do love this man because he has been a part of saving my life. Without this Program and without the extraordinary people in the Program I would be a lost soul. I have found my soul thanks to so many people, the Program, my family, and my Higher Power and I look forward to more recovery as each day passes.