Ah, The Sameness

The dinner last night was yet another fire meal. The main entrees were two (not one but two!) triple-decker (yes, three pieces of meat!) hamburgers. My new roommate did not have time to prepare me a soy burger, so I happily ate the lettuce and onions along with the peas. Getting back to those main entrees - three slices of hamburger on one bun served with the identical three slices of hamburger. Effectively, this came out to 1-1/4 pound of meat. Fortunately, I did not notice anyone finishing both hamburgers. Most guys took the extra hamburger with them for either later last night or lunch today. I did see someone eat 1-1/2 of the hamburgers, which is still a great deal of meat. The night before, the kitchen served these same hamburgers but only single servings, and my new roommate received many complaints at the smallness of the hamburgers. It seems my new roommate is at the forefront of these complaints because he orders the food. Quite frankly, the food here is the best I have seen in my 14 months, and most other inmates would agree; however, there seems to be an expectation level of lots and lots of food, and when this expectation is perceived less, the complaints start rolling in. Well, no one complained last night about the 1-1/4 pounds of meat. On the nutrition side, these fire meals do contain a great deal of protein and calories; however, the saturated fat levels are off the chart. My new roommate did make subtle changes for more nutrition-friendly foods, but this didn’t go over too well, so it is back to meat, fries, and more meat. Change inside this system is not embraced with open arms, so the status quo seems to work best. I applaud my new roommate for trying to make these changes, and I am forever grateful to him for my “special” meals.

Dinner had concluded, and as is the case most every night, I went outside to enjoy the peaceful evening. Since my roommate was busy with the kitchen, I sat with another friend who is also part of “The View.” Much like the previous night where I talked with my roommate, I talked all night with this friend and was enlightened. Over the history of my 42 years, I have been more of a listener than a talker. I have stayed true to form as of late, and reading “Change Your Thoughts – Change Your Life, I am even keener on listening. As we talked last night, I had an “ah ha” moment. I realized I do enjoy talking and listening to people on an individual basis. I guess I have known this all along but never really focused on it. The best part of all my previous jobs was talking and listening to people. I remember early on in my career going into a co-worker’s office while doing a project. I had asked this person a few questions, and the next thing I knew the afternoon had gone by. What should have taken only 15 minutes took 3 hours, and I did most of the listening.

I have always been a good listener (with the exception of mother. Strangely, I seemed to tune her out over the years, but I won’t be doing any of that this coming weekend as she and my sister will be visiting), and this is a good quality. I seem to ask the right questions, and people seem to like to talk with me. Whatever the reason, I do enjoy it, and being an accountant/auditor, I have had the pleasure of speaking with some very good people over the years. I would much rather go without the number crunching and speak with people. As I move forward into my next career, I need to focus on the interpersonal connection rather than the get-behind-the-computer-and-crunch-numbers syndrome. There is a whole new world out there for me, and I look forward to it. I have an idea of what I want to do as a job when I am released, and it has something to do with talking and listening. I won’t give away anything right now, but I have visualized this position intently. I can do this anywhere in the world so being relegated to California will not be a hindrance. My life is bright and beautiful, and I have come a long way in the past 2-1/2 years. I will maintain this road, and everything will be as it is intended.

I was able to stay awake until 10:00 p.m. for the first time in a while. My poor roommate collapsed a few hours earlier as he worked 18 straight hours. He is one of the hardest workers in camp yet he never complains and is always positive. He has very good/high energy levels. Anyhow, my sleeping pattern repeated the night before with me waking up every hour or so. This could have had something to do with the bowl of oatmeal I ate last night. By the way, I have so much oatmeal in my locker that I can eat this everyday until my parole date and still have some left over! Whatever the case, I was up and down all night. My roommate was allowed to sleep in as his wake-up call came at 4:30 a.m. instead of 1:00 a.m. as the previous night. I lingered in my bed with my usual wake-up time and then started my day. Yes, I have settled into a nice routine, and the sameness, or ah the sameness, has commenced. The crews departed early for the fire line, and I started my early morning run. It is very dark when I start and remains dark for an hour. I was allowed to run this morning and was very grateful. I do have a hard time starting, but once I get going, I really don’t want to stop but I must. Also, as of late, I have been doing more flat running, but today, I interspersed the hill, and this does add a more difficult dimension as my heart rate instantly goes up, and I start to sweat more. Over the next 6 months, my concentration is on adding more mileage to my run as I intend to be prepared for a marathon (26.2 miles) upon my release in March. I am sure I can a marathon right now, but in six months, I will be even more ready. I have run five marathons in the past, and my first marathon was the most difficult. I remember running the Las Vegas Marathon back in December 2005, and that run was exactly as I planned. I did not realize it then, but I was applying techniques from “The Power of Intention.” I ran one more marathon (Los Angeles) after the Las Vegas Marathon, but my mind was not as in-tune as previously. Subsequently, my performance suffered. Running 26.2 miles is quite a physical effort, but it really is more mental than anything. This is just like life as it is constantly a mental exercise, and the key for me is to get out of the way and let life flow. There is a paradox here because I cannot just do nothing and let life flow because that won’t work. If I didn’t train physically for a marathon, I wouldn’t be able to finish no matter how focused my mind. There is a balance which I am striving for, and I will employ all these traits as I enter the free world. I am working on these constantly and know I am moving in the proper direction. Gratefully, due to my new position, I have more time to get in tune with myself, and my growth has been helped.

The run was over, and it was on to another fire breakfast with all that food. Today, I was able to eat blueberry pancakes, oatmeal, and soy sausage. Yes, my roommate cooked up the soy sausage just for me, and it was delicious. It was a brand I never had before, nor did I realize Jimmy Dean made soy sausages. The filling breakfast was over, and the workday had commenced. The bathrooms were cleaned much slower than yesterday but were still completed very early. We had to finish so that the fire crews who were covering the camp could take their showers. Apparently, I have now become very protective of the bathrooms because I was appalled at the condition of the bathrooms after the crews had finished. (I may be taking my job too seriously.) We cleaned them prior, and after they showered, the bathrooms were filthy. Nobody was that filthy, the toilets were malfunctioning. Fortunately, there is a great plumber (yes, a fellow inmate) on site, and the problem was rectified. I guess I have taken ownership of the bathrooms for the next six months, which isn’t bad, or is it??