Journey

Life is not a destination it is a journey. Sometimes life is wonderful and sometimes it is not so wonderful. The journey is paved with pitfalls and pratfalls but it beats the alternative. Four years ago when we moved to Southern California I would never have envisioned what has happened to me in these past seven months. Oh by the way it has been seven months today since my last wager, the days certainly do go by!!

Four years ago things were looking up; new job, new house, new state; it was almost like a new beginning; however; I had some left over baggage that was never addressed. This baggage would build up over the next four years until it finally brought me down. Was it the end of my world seven months ago? It sure looked that way and I still don't know what the future holds for me. However; I have learned so much about myself and I have met some incredible people so it is another part of the journey.

Also in this journey of life comes lessons. Sometimes it takes a little longer to learn these lessons but the important thing is learning something. I have learned I was so stupid and never truly listened to myself. I was so good at fooling people I fooled myself into believing something that was not true. I thought gambling was harmless even though twice before I was faced with some hard lessons that I didn't learn a damn thing from. The third time seems so very different from the first two times because I am finally do something about it and I am finally listening to myself.

One significant part of the difference this time is Gamblers Anonymous and last night was a GA night. I met my sponsor for dinner prior to the meeting because we are doing a presentation at a Conference next week. We needed to go over the material and it was also so very nice to spend and hour and half with this kind gentleman.

We are doing a presentation on Trust for the Compulsive Gambler and those affected by the compulsive gambler. My sponsor has done this presentation before and I am so happy he asked me to join him. There is some amazing material in this presentation such as can forgiveness be in terms of percentages (25%, 50%, etc.) or does it need to be all or nothing? Does "I forgive you" mean "I approve of what you did"? What is revenge? Can revenge have closure? There is much more to the presentation and we hope to get the audience involved as much as possible. There really are no right or wrong answers and everyone's opinion is important. It really should be a very fun and interesting presentation.