Christmas Decorations

Today was the day we as a family put out our Christmas decorations. I was in charge of putting the lights on the outside of the house and for the first time in five years I did not screw it up!! One year I put the lights on backwards; you may think this is impossible but when I got to the electrical outlet I had no prongs to plug in I had the other end. Instead of taking the lights down I ran an extension cord from the front of the house to the back of the house. Another year I put up lights without testing them and when I went to turn the lights on half of them did not work. Again instead of taking them down and putting up good lights I just put more lights on top of the lights that didn't work which caused the lights to fall down a few weeks later. The weight of the extra lights was too much for the hooks. I guess I was a little pre-occupied those years with other activities. Not this year; my full attention was on putting up the Christmas lights and like I said; I didn't screw it up this year. I guess miracles do happen when you stop gambling!

I did get a little melancholy as I took out the boxes of Christmas decorations because this may be my last Christmas with the family for a few years. I won't go into a pity party because I caused this to myself and to my family and I deserve what is coming to me. I must cherish what I have and not what could have been. The facts of the matter I got to put up the Christmas decorations with my family and I will enjoy each and every day of this holiday season. None of us knows what tomorrow will bring this is why I am finally enjoying today.

I can't believe all the Christmas decorations we have; I guess over the years we have managed to accumulate more things. The children do love the lights on the houses and it is so nice to see the joy in their eyes. My son said it very well as we turned on the outside Christmas lights; he said; "they are BEAUTIFUL." That in and of itself is priceless. Little moments like this one has eluded me for so long. I truly have a wonderful family and I am learning to cherish each and every day with them. I do so love them very much and I know whatever life throws at us we will deal with it as a family and we will deal with it one moment at a time.

The subject came up about evil people and evil deeds. Is an evil deed always performed by an evil person or can an evil deed be performed by a good person? I guess the judgment is best left up to the individual but from what I have seen there are some evil people in this world and they have done evil deeds and the flip side their are some good people who have done evil deeds. Which is worse? Doing anything evil is always bad regardless of whether you are good or evil person; however; sometimes people do make mistakes due to bad decision making and as long as they admit they made a mistake and are willing to make amends for this mistake they are doing the right thing. It is those people who blame everyone but themselves for their lot in life that need to come to terms first with themselves.

Yes, I made some poor decisions and I will suffer the consequences. It is not the end of me as some may want to think rather it is a beginning. I have a great deal to offer and I know it doesn't happen over night it is a gradual process. This process moves one day at a time. I cannot change any of those bad decisions. I take full responsibility for my actions and I am finally get the help I need. With this help and understanding of myself of who I truly am will allow me to not make these bad decisions as each day passes. There is no finish line or I guess the finish line is my last breath (which hopefully won't come for a long time!) and intend to cherish each and every day with a sense of pride and purpose.