A Year Ago

This time last year the family and I were headed off to the airport for a family vacation in Cabo San Lucas, Mexico. No, we were not scheduled to stay at a five star resort. We were meeting friends of ours from Las Vegas and their family to spend the Thanksgiving Holiday. My friends have a timeshare and they were kind enough to ask us to join them for the week at a very reasonable rate. As we drove off to the airport last year it had started to snow and there was an actual accumulation of 2 inches. This was a very big deal because living in this part of Southern California seeing snow on the ground is a very rare sight; I think it happens about every 30 years. Our plane was taking off last year at this time and we missed the snow event but we had a great time on the vacation.

At the end of the trip we had such a good time we asked our friends if we could make this annual event and join them for the Thanksgiving Holiday each year. They said yes, and early this year I had pre-paid the vacation but circumstances being what they are my friend was kind enough to refund the pre-payment and my life and my family's life changed direction dramatically. My friend and his family did embark on the vacation this year and I am sure they will have a great time. Yes, my life and the lives of my family has changed directions and I am sure it would have been wonderful to join our friends in Mexico but all of that is in the past. I cannot undo the past events I can only concentrate on today. Today; I took my children to the park and watched them play for a few hours. It was a glorious day; there was no snow in the forecast and the temperature reached 83 degrees.

We had a great time and it doesn't matter to my children that we are not spending the holiday in Mexico. It matters to my children that their Grandmother is here to spend the holiday with them. My children don't care about material items and sometimes this is hard to fathom but the bottom line is they want their family to be together for the holidays. Whether it is spent at home or in some foreign country it makes no difference to them. The just care that everyone is together. My children had a great time at the park as did I. They are playing on the trampoline right now and life for them couldn't be any better.

Tragic events have a different affect on everyone. I chose to take my tragic event and make the best out of it. Yes, what I did was so very wrong and I can't say I am sorry enough but saying I am sorry doesn't change those events. Looking back and wallowing in self-pity doesn't do a damn bit of good. What's done is done and all I have is today. Today is great; my family is fabulous and God is great.

Somewhere along the way the holding pattern I have been in "legal" terms will subside. Eight and half months ago I made decision NOT to stay in this holding pattern in terms of my recovery and personal growth. Thank God I made this decision because each and every day has gotten better. Material things, possessions, vacations are nice and I don't begrudge anyone for having any of these. They are not my focus; my focus is on my recovery, living life one day at a time with a purpose and my family. All of the things that surround me are blessings and all of these blessings are real and tangible. What matter most is more real today than it was one year ago.

How can someone be rich and still be poor? In my opinion; you can have all the money and possessions in your life and still be poor in spirit. How can someone be poor and still be rich? In my opinion you can have no money no material possessions and be rich in spirit. I would rather be rich in spirit then spiritually deprived or morally bankrupt. Yes, I have learned many things over the past eight and half months and I continue to learn each and every day. I love this learning process and I love my life and my family. I thank God each every day for all he has bestowed upon me.