Compassion

Kindness, compassion and caring are words which are not used often enough in my opinion. There are so many people in my life who have showed these characteristics toward me over these past 8 months. Actually I have only noticed this over the past 8 months but some of those people who have been part of my life for a very long time have ALWAYS exhibited these characteristics because they are good people.

I trust I have not been a BAD person all my life or I wouldn't have these people in my life. It is so nice to be surrounded by these positive emotions even though what I had done to some of these people may have seem unforgivable. If I were a truly bad person I wouldn't be able to write this blog and I would be still sitting in jail. It has taken a great deal to get me to finally realize I am and will always be a compulsive gambler but thank God it has finally happened.

Compulsive gambling is truly an insidious and baffling addiction and for me has been a life long struggle. Maybe God had planned it this way because without me finally acknowledging I am a compulsive gambler I would not have met many of these kind, caring and compassionate people. I am blessed beyond belief with all the caring and kindness in my life. This compassion has gone a long way in my recovery and keeps me going each and every day.

Thank God there are more good people in this world than bad. Is it easier to disassociate yourself with someone who has done some bad things or is it easier to show support and compassion for someone who has done these bad things. I think it would be easier to run away and say "I knew this person was bad all along" but it takes a person with character to stand up and support someone who is truly down. I have more of these type of people in my life and in fact every one currently in my life has been extremely compassionate with their support and giving.

What would I do if the situation were reversed? I would like to think I have learned something over the past 8 months and I would show support and compassion but not having the Gamblers Anonymous Program in my life I am not sure what I would have done. I do know prior to my "situation" I was able to help people at my previous employer both employees and customers. I always wanted to do what was best for them and I seemed to believe people more often than not. What I didn't do was look inside myself and do what was best for me and my family.

I certainly can't change what I have done in the past and must concentrate on today and today only. I must do what is best for me and my family which is getting continuing help with my compulsive gambling addiction. Without this help I am destined to repeat those mistakes of the past and I don't want to go back there because I will go back there alone. Those wonderful compassionate people can only take so much pain before cutting their ties and I have no intention of going back to my old habits. I need to live one day at time and this will be lived with purpose, honesty, compassion, caring and kindness.

My heart, prayers and thoughts go out to my step mother Pat who lost her mother this week. May God bless you and your family in this time of grieving. Pat you have blessed our family and especially my Dad; we all love you so very much and if there is anything we can do please do not hesitate to ask.