It's Coming

Today was a court day and it was different than any other court session in the fact that I didn't have to attend until the afternoon session. My attorney has been kind enough to call me before coming down to the courthouse so my wife and I can stay home until my case is called. The phone call didn't come until 12:15 pm because my attorney was in chambers with the Judge and the Assistant District Attorney for a long period of time this morning. I didn't know what to expect when I got to court because my wife answered the phone call from my attorney telling us to come down to the court at 1:30 pm.

My wife (who has been beyond remarkable through this whole episode) and I drove to court and sat in on one case prior to my case being called. It was a sentencing for an individual who had been convicted of molesting his daughter. We sat through the sentencing which included the defense's reason for probation, the Assistant District Attorney's reasons for incarceration and the Judge's final decision. Some of the testimony (I think that is the correct term) was very uncomfortable to listen to and in the end the Judge sentenced this individual to probation and 180 days in the County Jail to be served on weekends.

Yes, my gambling has brought me into the same company of child molesters, rapists, murderers and other violent criminals. Mine is certainly a serious crime and I am so very sorry to those I have affected. There is nothing I can do to change those actions of the past. I can only concentrate on today and today only. I have chronicled how God, my family, friends and Gamblers Anonymous have helped me tremendously through this horrible ordeal. I am making restitution to the victim and will continue to do this until the debt has been fully paid. What I did was very wrong and yes, compulsive gambling led me to this behavior but those were my actions and come next year I will face the full consequences for those actions.

Getting back to the court session; as I stood in front of the Judge and had a few questions directed my way. I really didn't fully understand what was going on but I soon found out what was going on. There will be a pre-sentencing hearing in January and I am facing a maximum of 4 years in the California State Prison System. Yes, the offense I committed is very serious and this is the punishment. Our country is the greatest country in the world and when you (I) commit a crime there is a form of punishment and this punishment is prison.

It is a fact that the days, weeks and months will pass until the time I will be sentenced. I will continue learning, loving, embracing and recovering as each day goes by one moment at a time. I don't want anyone to feel sorry for me; I brought this upon myself and will suffer the consequences for it. Life has gotten so much better in the past 8 months and it keeps getting better one day at a time as I abstain from gambling and work my recovery to the fullest.