Imposing Will

As I came out of Tuesday's Gamblers Anonymous meeting I found myself feeling much better when I entered and I was very energized. However. there was something else I was feeling which was frustration. I know I cannot impose my will on any one nor should I take inventory of anyone but myself; however; last night I found myself wanted to shake some sense into fellow members but thankfully I didn't say or do anything I would have regretted. Everyone works their recovery differently and the key concept for me is to NOT GAMBLE TODAY. Sometimes it takes people (like myself) years to understand this concept and sometimes people never fully understand this concept.

I cannot change anyone except myself. I write and talk all about my recovery and what has worked for me as well as others who have been successful in recovery. It is none of my business what other people do with their recovery it is my business what I do with my recovery only. I got into a great deal of trouble previously in my life by NOT taking a hard, cold , honest look at myself. I don't want to fall into this pattern again. I have not gambled for 8 months and 19 days and I am starting to understand myself. I cannot change others nor should I try to change anyone I must concentrate on myself and my family.

I received a comment from another blogger who is in the earlier stages of battling their compulsive gambling addiction. I thought they were asking my advice on one of the postings and I wrote a very long comment which was not posted. My comment was written from my perspective and I believe I was imposing my will on this person by telling them things they should do. It is not my place to tell anyone to do anything and I apologize if I offended them it was not my intention.

Compulsive gambling is a horrible addiction and makes people do horrible things but it is not my place to tell someone what to do. I can only suggest what has helped me and others who have been successful in their recoveries against this awful addiction. I hope this person continues their recovery and is very successful in their life without gambling. If anyone is interested in another compulsive gambler battling this addiction I encourage you to read this site.

I remember 5 years ago a good friend who has a daughter 5 years older than my daughter telling me how much he enjoyed having conversations with his daughter. Now his daughter is entering her teenage years and they still have a great relationship. I can see the same things happening with my daughter. Our conversations have moved to the next level and they are great conversations. Additionally, she is starting to ask some very inquisitive questions such as when we were watching a movie and she asked me if the "bad guys" destroy the world aren't they destroying themselves as well?? My response was; "great question and you are correct". Also; she is starting to ask some hard questions about Santa Claus. She is 7 years old soon to be 8 and I am wondering if this is the last Christmas where she still believes. They grow up so fast and I am so blessed by my daughter's presence, I thank God each and every day for this blessing.

Last night there was a conversation on wife bashing and I certainly could not add anything to this conversation. My wife has been nothing short of amazing through this horrible ordeal; she is an angel a true gift from God. Even though she was very tired from cleaning all day (her Mom is coming to visit for Thanksgiving) she found time to go to her Wednesday Night Gam-Anon (it is a meeting for anyone who has been affected by a compulsive gambler) meeting. She is a magnificent woman and I love her so very much.

Yes, it has taken a near catastrophic event to make me realize all the true blessings in my life were right in front of me. There is no need for me to look any further nor is there any need for me to want anything else. I have everything anyone can ask for and again I thank God for all of these blessings. Before the grace of God go I and I have been graced by God to an extraordinary level.