Football Season

It must be football season because my regular mailbox and email box is filled with offers from internet sport books. Not to worry I have no urge to send money (not that I have any money to send over but I am sure if I wanted to I would find a way; I have in the past) to any of these internet sport books even though they seem to be offering the world. Many have promised so many goodies and free money. I certainly know nothing in this world is free especially money. If I send over $2000 this one sports book would give me $900 free money. "Free money" what a concept!! I have been there and done that. This "free money" has cost me lots and lots of real money in the past.

Also for some reason I never really liked football season when I was betting. Now please don't get me wrong I would bet on football and bet heavily but I preferred baseball and basketball to football because they were everyday occurrences. I didn't like that I had to wait one week to bet the football games. In addition the weekend was the hardest for me to conceal my betting because I wasn't at work where no one cared whether I was betting; I was at home and had to make sure I was awake by a certain time and my wife was not aware of what I was doing. All in all making the wagers on the weekend was a hassle but I still did it anyway. Another one of those ridiculous moments in my life which means absolutely nothing now but pain and suffering to my family. Yes, my compulsive gambling was not an intellectual event it was something I just did over and over again.

My Gamblers Anonymous meetings are for the most part an amazing event. All of the crap I have done to myself and my family and negative thoughts I have about myself are put to rest for two hours during my Gamblers Anonymous meetings. It is certainly a safety zone where everyone has the same problem and no one judges the next person. We just want people to stop gambling and get their lives back. After each meeting I have always felt better than I did before entering. With that said; a fellow GA member after our meeting yesterday made a comment to me and it was a bit insensitive (at least my perception). I am not going to make a big deal about this but I want to write about it because in the past I would usually bury things and invariably those things would come back to haunt me without me even knowing about it. I felt the need to completely defend myself but I restrained my comeback to a few sentences and this person took it a step further regarding my situation. Again, I felt the need to defend myself but held back.

In my mind I did the right thing. People will be people and for the most part people are kind, caring, generous and sensitive. It is the 1% that are mean, insensitive, unkind, and greedy. I will not let this 1% rule my life and even though this person is a member of GA they still said things I deemed inappropriate. Why do people do this? I have no idea and I cannot control their thoughts. I can only control my own thoughts and I know I am doing the right things and I know where I have come from and where I am going and it is the right road.

People are entitled to their opinions and as long as no physical harm comes to me or my family these people have every right to express their opinions. We live in a free society and I thank God I was born in this country because other countries do not have the freedoms we so enjoy. I say let people say what they want because I know I am doing the right things in my heart and in my head. I am doing these things for all the right reasons and I am finally getting to know my true self. I thank God, my family and GA for this.