Purpose of the Blog

I feel the need to reiterate the purpose of this blog because in the past few days I have been a bit side tracked. The purpose of this blog is to help me with my gambling problem. Almost six months ago the world came crashing down on my head and I was faced with a few choices; number one run and hide and live in denial for the rest of my life; number two kill myself (I need to be realistic and yes, it was one of the options) or number three face up to my compulsive gambling addiction and seek help. I chose number three. Part of this therapy or "medication" as I call it (I also need to step aside and tell everyone I am not taking any prescription medication I call my therapy to arrest this addiction "medication", sorry for the misunderstanding).

This "medication" is made up of many parts; finally admitting I have a gambling addiction and surrendering this addiction to a higher power; I must thank Gamblers Anonymous for this. Which brings me to regularly attending as many GA meetings as possible. I have had this addiction all my life and I realize it won't just go away it NEVER just goes away. I am in the process of arresting this disease with my "medication". Also part of this "medication" is the support I have found through my family and friends without this support I would not have made it this far. Another part of this therapy is this blog. It is another way for me to express my thoughts and feelings. Finally all of this needs to be done one day at a time because this is the only given I have; the past is gone forever and there is no changing any of it and the future holds uncertainties so the commitment must be to live for today with a clear purpose.

Now that I have reiterated the purpose of this blog I want to talk about perceptions. Ten people can look at a painting and have ten different perceptions of the painting and you know what this is great as long as those perceptions do not diminish the artist in any way. The true perception belongs to the artist alone because they are the only one who knows what the piece art represents. It is so easy to diminish anyone by calling them names, throwing stones and just plain putting them down. Like I said earlier people are entitled to their opinions and perceptions; however; intentionally hurting someone else should not be part of these opinions or perceptions. I know what I have done has hurt many people and I am very sorry. It was NEVER my intention to hurt anyone but I have and I must live with this the rest of my life.

I am taking the necessary steps in my recovery to be the father, husband, person I need to be. As each day moves forward I gain back a little of my sanity and I have so many people to thank for this. People do stupid things and I did a MAJOR LEAGUE stupid thing does this mean I should be put to death, maybe some of you think so but I have many more who do not think this way. Positives always beat negatives and I will stay on the positive side of life. Positive people have so much more to share than the negative people and I thank God each and everyday for all of the positives in my life.