Six Months

Six months ago today I made my last bet. I can tell you it was on a basketball game but I don't remember who the teams were. This detail really doesn't matter the only thing that matter is I have not made a wager today. Sometimes the six months feels like six minutes and sometimes it feels like sixty years! Time is going to pass no matter what this is inevitable; it is making this time constructive and with a purpose.

I made a choice six months ago to seek help with my compulsive gambling disorder and I thank God each and every day for this decision. It has brought me closer to my family and myself. I have learned so much about myself in the past six months and I know I have just scratched the surface because there is so much more to learn. I learn something each and every day and yes, my life was turned upside down six months ago but I am thankful for everyone who has supported me this tumultuous time. Having not made a bet in six months has made my life so much better and I look forward to it getting a little better one day at a time.

Yesterday I wrote about the changing face of the compulsive gambler and today I read an article about this subject. Here is the link; you may have to register to gain access to the story (sorry about that it is just a requirement by this particular newspaper). The article equates video poker machines as the "crack" cocaine of gambling. People become addicted much faster (usually within a year) to these types of machines. The article gives the time tables on becoming addicted to the other forms of gambling. My particular vice sports betting seemed to have the longest (5.4 years) time for an addiction to develop. Which makes sense because I have done it for the past 20 plus years and didn't know I was addicted until the very final stages. Denial is a very strong emotion because I fought my addiction for so long before finally admitting I have a problem.

When I finally admitted I had a problem it was the best day and the worst day in my life. It was the worst day because all my misdeeds had come out but it was the best day because I didn't have to live in denial anymore. I am powerless to gambling and it took such a long time to finally realize. The amazing people in the rooms of Gamblers Anonymous have taught me so much and I owe so much to all of these fabulous people. I can't imagine where I would be if I didn't find those incredible people and their support in helping me arrest my illness. Thank you so very much for all your support and genuine love. They are people who want to help others with a compulsive gambling addiction and they do it with such compassion and warmth.

May God bless those people in the path of Hurricane Katrina on the Gulf Coast. I am praying for your safe passage through this awful storm.